Dear Brenden

Dear Brenden,

I hope you are out campaigning in your own electorate and campaigning for your seat. It seems however that you seem intent on campaigning for the council elections but also seem oblivious to note that they were held last year. It would also help if you didn’t describe Howick business owners as Botany ones.

On another note I have checked my letterbox several times today and there has been nothing there. Also can you please call to arrange the time for you and the “Muliaga Boys” (Is that like the Beagle Boys?) to come around for tea and a sing song…will they also be bringing their guitars? So they feel at home I will disconnect the power for the time they are here.

Before you next have a tanty and start slinging around death threats and threats of grevious bodily harm I suggest you do one of two things, deary, before you get yourself into serious trouble.

Either put the cap back on the flagon, put the flagon in the cupboard under the sink, close the door and take yourself off to bed for a lie down…..or, put the jug on and make yourself a nice cup of Choysa (I say Choysa because it is unlikely you can afford nor enjoy a nice cup of Dilmah), get some round wines and sit down and enjoy your cuppa. Take deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth and try to calm down.

If you are stuck for techniques to manage you anger give Trev a call he may be able to share his experiences of his anger management courses.

  • pdq

    Oh dear, Brendan really is a sorry sad sack of shite. All bluster and bully-boy one minute, gone the next. The perfect poster-child for the Labour Party. Hey Brendan, here’s a thought, why don’t you get the fuck out of my country.

    Before you do go though, give some thought to also paying me a visit with your “rented bro’s” … I pay my bills so your cup of tea might even be hot.

  • coge

    There are three facts apparent about Mr Sheehan.

    1/ He tried to fast track his political “career” by hugging a corpse.

    2/ When things don’t go his way he resorts to old time trade unionist thuggery.

    3/ His mother didn’t teach him any manners.

  • Zutroy

    Brenden Sheehan needs a nice cup of tea. And a long lie down. And maybe he needs to get his chakra points realigned, or whatever they do to make disturbed people well again.

  • boomtownprat

    Sheehan needs a nice cup of tea, a long lie down, a taxi to auckland airport, $400 for a one way ticket to Brisbane and get the fuck out of here.

    Simple really

  • michaels

    Whale please do not compare one of my favourite childhood memories to these people.

    Also, I do love the way you use your long bow.