Man Stuff – Shaving

I hate shaving. I really do. I hate shaving as much as I hate three days of growth on my face. The classic Catch-22.

In the Army I got in trouble almost every afternoon because the stupid sergeant thought I hadn’t shaved in the morning despite watching me do so. I have won every beard growing competition I have had with mates, they usually give up after two weeks.

Razor blades in general suck. They are a blatent rip off and I hate in this order Electric Shavers, Shick and Gillette. Electric Razors just annoy my beard, Schick products never cut the mustard let alone the hair on my face and it is uneconomic to use even the cheapest of Gillettes products when they all go blunt after 3 days. Shave soaps and gels and foams are all crap as well. These companies should all be taken to the Commerce Commission for patently false advertising.

You know the ads, Metrosexual he-man shaving rapidly and with nary a blemish whilst grinning inanely at the camera. Any real man knows that those ads are pure unadulterated horse-shit.

So what do I do. Well it taken me till almost 40 to perfect my morning shaving regime. I have finally hit upon a near perfect solution short of permanent hair removal, which given my propensity to grow hair would be decidedly non-permanent.

  1. Always shave in the shower (you need to purchase a mirror to stick to the shower wall)
  2. Use an old fashioned single blade razor. The kind with a blade either side.
  3. Use Prep Cream

That’s it. Ok where to get this gear. Firstly get a decent Razor, not some cheap and nasty thing. Heavy is good and stainless steel perfect. It will cost about $100 for a good one but will last far longer than any plastic battery powered non-sensation that the razor companies pimp to blokes.

Blades, now this is the bonus. All blades go blunt but real blades are made from steel not from aluminium….yes the blades in the disposables are aluminium, that is why they crap out after two days. Get steel blades. They last four times longer, can be re-sharpened and are real sharp, not pretend sharp.

Prep Cream. This is the hardest thing to find. Best bet is to find some Japie supply store. Out in Howick there are plenty but it took me three months to track down this avenue of supply. If you live in Wellington then go see the lady that runs the barber and cigar shop on Featherston Street at the station end. She knows everything about shaving and stocks Prep and decent razors. It turns out that Prep is the best kept secret of South Africa. Kind of like Rawleighs Ointment is a secret of New Zealand. This stuff is brilliant and if you suffer from in grown hairs and rashes it makes both vanish in days. So find a Saffa Supermarket and go buy the stuff and while you are there score some fantastic biltong.

So there it is, the Whaleoil recommended shaving regime.

Zemanta Pixie
  • Whaleoil

    Not at all Wally, using Prep is the secret I think. It is a smoother better shave all round and the blades cost about $3 for 5 which last like for ever.

  • WallyAnchor

    And no face slicing? I look bad enough as it is….

  • Brian Smaller

    I am the exact opposite Whale. I shave twice a week at most. After three days I have light stuble. One of those disposable razors lasts me anout six months.

  • Spanishbride

    The other obvious benefit is that you will be in no danger of your beloved borrowing your razor in order to shave her legs as she will be risking removing cms of her skin at a time.

    How do I know this? Why, I couldn’t possibly reveal my sources.

    limp, limp @3!%! bst@rd with a killer fr#C*n razor!

  • WallyAnchor

    The thing I hate about razor blades is the cost. I prefer Gillette over Schick, although I don’t really know why (must be marketing…)

    The thing is there’s really not a lot to them. A bit of plastic holding a few minuscule bits of metal. Surely they cost only a dollar or two to manufacture – why don’t we have any cheap Chinese knock-offs? The quality would probably be just as good (hard to get much worse…) or better, and should be a fraction of the cost. But they don’t seem to exist. Why?

    I’ve started shaving only alternate days, not at all at the weekend, and only once a week when I’m on holiday, in order to save money. They cost a fortune for what they are, they go blunt so quick, and I’m absolutely sure it’s a design feature – so you buy them more often.

    Have thought of using the good old double sided real blade often, as you said they’re harder and don’t blunt as quickly. Don’t you take of half of you face using them though?

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