I hate shaving. I really do. I hate shaving as much as I hate three days of growth on my face. The classic Catch-22.
In the Army I got in trouble almost every afternoon because the stupid sergeant thought I hadn’t shaved in the morning despite watching me do so. I have won every beard growing competition I have had with mates, they usually give up after two weeks.
Razor blades in general suck. They are a blatent rip off and I hate in this order Electric Shavers, Shick and Gillette. Electric Razors just annoy my beard, Schick products never cut the mustard let alone the hair on my face and it is uneconomic to use even the cheapest of Gillettes products when they all go blunt after 3 days. Shave soaps and gels and foams are all crap as well. These companies should all be taken to the Commerce Commission for patently false advertising.
You know the ads, Metrosexual he-man shaving rapidly and with nary a blemish whilst grinning inanely at the camera. Any real man knows that those ads are pure unadulterated horse-shit.
So what do I do. Well it taken me till almost 40 to perfect my morning shaving regime. I have finally hit upon a near perfect solution short of permanent hair removal, which given my propensity to grow hair would be decidedly non-permanent.
- Always shave in the shower (you need to purchase a mirror to stick to the shower wall)
- Use an old fashioned single blade razor. The kind with a blade either side.
- Use Prep Cream
That’s it. Ok where to get this gear. Firstly get a decent Razor, not some cheap and nasty thing. Heavy is good and stainless steel perfect. It will cost about $100 for a good one but will last far longer than any plastic battery powered non-sensation that the razor companies pimp to blokes.
Blades, now this is the bonus. All blades go blunt but real blades are made from steel not from aluminium….yes the blades in the disposables are aluminium, that is why they crap out after two days. Get steel blades. They last four times longer, can be re-sharpened and are real sharp, not pretend sharp.
Prep Cream. This is the hardest thing to find. Best bet is to find some Japie supply store. Out in Howick there are plenty but it took me three months to track down this avenue of supply. If you live in Wellington then go see the lady that runs the barber and cigar shop on Featherston Street at the station end. She knows everything about shaving and stocks Prep and decent razors. It turns out that Prep is the best kept secret of South Africa. Kind of like Rawleighs Ointment is a secret of New Zealand. This stuff is brilliant and if you suffer from in grown hairs and rashes it makes both vanish in days. So find a Saffa Supermarket and go buy the stuff and while you are there score some fantastic biltong.
So there it is, the Whaleoil recommended shaving regime.