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Dear Leader in Beijing

by Whaleoil on March 7, 2010

Cactus Kate is currently in Beijing under the watch of dirty Commies. With blogspot.com and Facebook censored there’s been plenty of time for tourism. She also notes for those Kiwi’s in China that Gotcha.co.nz blogs aren’t censored.

At a visit to yet another forced selling shlock shop under the irritating guise of the one day Great Wall tour, she pictured a frightening sight which lead to gasps of horror from the New Zealanders in the audience.

“Helen” as the tour leader stated was wearing garb from the very silk factory CK was in.

No sale and CK bolted back out into the -3 degree temperatures to wait for the remaining victims.

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  • garry

    I thought someone should actually comment on this one. I can quite understand why this post from Whale has been treated like a bad case of herpes at a fairground kissing booth … its about Commissar Helen.

    “OOOOive tooold yoo whale – its nawwt nooice to blog about mooei”

    That didnt quite work – i cant get the patronising deepvoiced inflection right without an audio track. The really hard part at a party i find, is getting the steely glare offpat.

    Anyway – you get the general idea.

    Can we get her contract at the UN renewed for life?

    There was a joke doing the rounds – just to liven it all up – Several fairytale characters were debating their individual claims to fame – Pinnochio with the biggest nose, Snow white the fairest of them all and of course tom thumb the smallest of all. Then we come to Quasimodo the hunchback of notre dame (I know I know hes not a fairy tale character … just cut me some slack) – anyway Quasimodo’s claim was that he was the most beastly of them all. Debate continued and each went into the room where the magic mirror stood – and would answer the questions ie “who is the fairest / smallest / etc etc”

    All of them go in and come out beaming with pleasure at confirming their status. Poor Quasimodo comes out and the others ask in concern – whats wrong Quasi. Quasi blubbers out “who the fuck is Helen Clark…”

    Excuse the F word – i will behave in future.

    Cheers and enjoy the day all
    G

    PS i think helen clark is a highly talented and bright person (and im only jealous of her abilities and success) – i just think she cant identify with the majority of the populace.

    Cheers
    G

  • garry

    I’ve gotta tell you this story guys …. i was at a function some years back that was celebrating a new wing of an Old Peoples Home being opened (NO i wasnt one of the residents) and Commissar Helen was speaking at the occasion.

    The occasion was hilarious – Old Folk are amazing – they dont give a tinkers damn about anyone when they hit 80 or 90 … there was a front row of these oldies and they kept interrupting her speech with cries of “I cant hear her speaking” , “whats she saying” and “whens lunch im hungry”

    Because most were deaf as a post – it was all said at 85 decibels. It was all everyone could do to stifle laughter.

    Gods Bless the older set – we need-em all!!!

    Cheers
    G

  • baxter

    Has Cactus tried the milkshakes yet?

  • John Boy

    Its communist China. Why would Frau Helen being there dressed in drag be a suprise? If you go on the ghost train expect to see frightening stuff.

  • Scanner

    So CK has discovered the horrible truth about our man Helun, you can wrap a turd in silk, but when the sun goes down it’s still a turd.
    The other major difference is Kate paid for her own trip, I paid for the pig in the photo to be there, troughing yet again.

  • garry

    I’ve never thought of wrapping a turd in silk before.

    Will it be a “silkenturd” or a “turdensilk”

    Much pondering to come