Let’s face it, New Zealand is a third world country with a third world income trying to live a first world lifestyle and borrowing to do it.
National isn’t working, Labour never will either, Act is too full of zealots and everyone else including the Libertarianz are fucking dreamers. No-one plays nicely with each other.
So with a bit of lateral thinking I believe I have come up with a viable solution for our ailments.
But first some numbers.
New Zealand’s population is 4,370,675 or which over three-quarters (76 per cent) of the population live in the North Island, and one-third (33 per cent) in the Auckland region. If you draw a line horizontally through Taupo more than half of the population live above that.
Apart from a few seats in South and West Auckland, Palmerston North and Wellington the rest of the North Island is solid blue. The South Island is largely empty apart from urban areas and they all vote Labour depsite themselves.
So here is my plan.
Sell the South Island. All of it.
It isn’t such a bad idea you know. Firstly it would get through a vote, 76 percent live in the North Island. Fuck all people actually want to go to the South Island. Some have never been and the rest only want to go to Queenstown once a year for a week for skiing. So sell it. The place sucks anyway.
If we sold it for $43,706,750,000,000 (around $44 Trillion, 44 x This picture) and vested the amount in individual accounts for every man, woman and child, they would each receive $10,000,000.
People who live in the South Island could continue to live there, but under new rulers, or they could move, there is nothing stopping them, they have $10,000,000. The reality is that their new landlords would be the Chinese and since most of them are pinkos anyway they would welcome the Chinese with open hands.
In the North we already import power so nothing changes there. The ski-fields won’t go anywhere. The coal that is dug up already goes to China so no change there and the best part of all is we get $10,000,000 in the pocket. A family of 5 would get $50,000,000. Basically a pallet of cash would be delivered to every third house to divvy up with their neighbours.
Of course the ensuing mayhem as the fools and dolts were parted from their $10,000,000 is just a bonus as far as I am concerned. By and large the country would be a whole heap better off.
Let’s face it, no one wants to live in the South Island, if they did the population stats would say different.
I reckon a political party with this one economic salvation plan would romp home purely because all the dumb-arses couldn’t wait to get their hands on the $10,000,000.
For the Chinese, it is a bargain. All those resources, no pesky, silly Resource Management Act, and we know how they deal with dissident behaviour. Silly actors with no brains certainly wouldn’t be lying all over state coal in South China (I think the name has a lovely ring to it).
The most amazing benefit of of downsizing the country to something more appropriate would be the loss of all those MPs and civil servants required to keep the shit box running, amongst them Bill English. We could similarly downsize parliament by half.
I can’t see any problems or traps with this plan yet. I think it is worth a go.
