My first ever spam letter

Unbelievably I received this spam letter in the mailbox yesterday. It’s a bit munted because it got wet but you get the gist.

The writer is very perceptive in the second paragraph, I was surprised to receive a 419 scam letter by post complete with 97p stamp. And wow, some multi-millionaire Spanish bint appears to be my relative…..Should I write a letter back…seems appropriate…how do you even write a letter?

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  • jimmie

    Heh – You should write back, that unfortunately there is a closer relative to your deceased Peruvian cousin who is entitled to the proceeds. (One H. Clark)

    She may be contacted by writing c/o United Nations, New York.

    Also state that her personal representative, C. Carter would be happy to travel to Spain in order to facilitate the transaction as he has plenty of time on his hands recovering from a recent illness.

  • titanuranus

    Looks legit, go for it.
    While you`re at it tell him you have a bridge for sale ,going cheap.

  • johnqpublic

    Try the “Sorry don’t have bank account, have to send a cash cheque mate” routine.

  • bigkev

    wow unusual to get a real letter, i always reply to the email ones telling them how interested i am in getting in contact with them but as a show of good faith if they send bank cheque for 10% then we can get on with it, sadly no reply or cheques in the mail

  • SeĆ”n

    Carl Luis’s office is about 10 mins walk from where I live. Let me know if you want me to leave a paper bag complete with with doggy doo on the doorstep.

  • gaskranken

    I got this one not so long ago with this link attached – http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm – and there were no pics attached, bugger…

    I am a citizen of the United States and i was born in Manhattan in 1976. As a young girl i was a curious child. I lived in fantasy world half the time, and the other half i lived in a real fantasy world, the noisy streets of the upper west side Manhattan, NYC. After obtaining my qualification as a nurse i decided to enlist into the army in 1998. This year marks my 10th year in the army. I am a member of the U.S. ARMY USARPAC Medical Team. I am a qualified nurse by training. I have been in Iraq since the beginning of the war. In the few years i have been here working in the medical team, i have been a witness to a lot of sad, horrific, mean and wicked action perpetuated by terrorist, religious bigots and militants. I am working on a book that would detail my experience when i eventually retire. I have attached some of my most recent pictures.

    I have received several postings while here in Iraq. This is also my third posting to Iraq. I am in the final year of my most recent posting. It is the most recent posting that has landed me a good fortune which i intend to share with you. After about 2months in the new house i was allocated i noticed that there was a hidden door in the wardrobe that leads to an underground cellar. What i discovered in the underground cellar was quite revealing. I discovered three containers stashed with United States dollars. Ever since this discovery i have been unable to concentrate as i have been confused on the exact action to take. I have informed no one. I do not intend to inform the authority. I intend to help myself. I have been weighing a lot of options on how best to make these funds my own without the knowledge of the authority.

    As you must be aware the American troops in Iraq have served with distinction. There is strict observance to rules and ordinance. There is also a systematic probing and investigation of all troops to make sure that there are no unlawful activities. We are trained to report any suspicious movement involving anybody that might tarnish the image of America. Because of this singular fact it has been very difficult for me to tell any one nor spend a dollar out of the money. I have tried to carry on as if all is well with me.

    I have decided to act after two months because i just found out that i might soon be re-deployed out of my present location. If this happens without me taking action on the money i have discovered, i will ever live to regret my inaction as it is an opportunity for me to be financially solvent for ever. I need your help in order to make this a reality.

    I have a patient who is a diplomat. I have known him for over a year. We are fond of each other. I have had extensive discussions with him on helping me transport some goods abroad. He has agreed in principle to help me. The reason why i am bringing a diplomat into it is that diplomats have immunity. Whatever they carry or transport across countries are covered by diplomatic immunity. It cannot be searched or opened by anybody been it customs, police or secret service. The goods are often covered with diplomatic seal. The goods will get to its destination without problems. Please be informed that i will not tell the diplomat the real content of the containers. The diplomat will deliver the containers to you.

    Using the diplomat make this process completely risk free. The worst scenario is that the diplomat will be sent back with the baggage if there is any suspicion. He cannot be arrested, the goods cannot be impounded. He will merely be returned to the country he is coming from.
    This is where you come in. Your duties or responsibility will be to receive the containers which contains the money from the diplomat. You are to keep it safely until i come to meet with you were we will discuss the modalities for sharing and engage in partnership while investing.

    I need someone i can trust, someone i can rely on. Someone who will be truthful, frank and honest. Someone who will agree to assist me and be involved throughout the period the process will last. Someone i can count on to act as a genuine and an interested party. I want you to go through this email careful and get back to me. We can begin to discuss further details once i hear from you through email.

    For utmost confidentiality i will appreciate that all our communication are done through email. It will be dangerous to communicate through the telephone as phones are often wired or tapped, calls often traced or intercepted. This is one of the security precaution that we must take.
    If you are interested in been part of this process i will require the following from you.

    1] Email address{if you have others apart from this one}
    2] Any identification or photograph(a simple picture will be ok)
    3] You can also include other information such as age, occupation and any other information that will help us get acquainted further.

    Best regards,

    Capt. Emily Naslund.

  • brs65

    Have a look at this bloke’s site if you need some inspiration on an official response: http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com.

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