December 2010

In 2010 I created following chaos and mayhem:

• told the truth repeatedly about Andrew Williams, the Clown of Campbells Bay. This resulted in his unemployment from anything to do with local body governance in Auckland.
• made Len Brown tell us something he said he would never reveal. The only pity was the lying, deceit and interference by officials thwarting the Ombudsmen for so long. In the end Len Brown rewarded the main obstruction, Leigh Auton, by giving him a cushy board appointment despite him robbing rate-payers of a nice 6 figure redundancy package.
• got charged with 10 counts of breaching name suppression and convicted of 9. In the process I made the government have a discussion and make changes with the name suppression laws in this country.
• appeared on 60 minutes and in every news outlet in New Zealand. This show was one of the top 5 shows for the year, both in ratings for 60 minutes and also with online views (20541 views so far).
• Got Simon Power‘s nickname, FIGJAM, written into case law.
• had someone write a song about Name Suppression.
• created an urban myth about Jim Anderton and his Earthquake statement.

• Uploaded a video to Youtube which then made the news and went on to have more than 440,000 views.

• made Len Brown slap himself silly.
• made Mangrove throw a hissy fit in a Sunday paper.
• outed veteran Maori troughers Te Reo Marama and Shane Bradbrook. They have since had all their funding cut to nothing.
• appeared at the Maori Affairs select committee to talk about Maori troughers ripping off the taxpayer.
• screwed up a story about Chris Carter, but apologised for it.
• rooted up Veuve Clicquot and NBR, making Barry Colman cough an extra $7000 in piss. BTW when is the party you slack cow???
• scared Michele Hewitson into a soft story with my “dead eyes”.
• Hijacked the Qantas Media Awards best Blog awards by holding the NZ Bloggers Union and Air New Zealand Blog Awards…real awards voted on by blogging judges.
• Outed Len Brown for touting for donations using council email. This was a story that Bernard Orsman refused to cover saying there was no evidence of it despite me publishing a full copy of the email.
• Called time on a content thief, Rich Henry.
• Made National Party president, Peter Goodfellow have his own extreme makeover after I compared him to Ned Flanders. Thousands of dollars of botox and a moustache trim, eye brow pluck and a new hair cut, he now thinks he is okalee-dokaly.

• Upset Mangrove on 7 Days
• It was the blog’s 5th birthday
• had more than 3 million page views and over 1,200,000 visits to my website.

Is Whaleoil Citizen A?

Citizen A – 7pm tonight Triangle TV, replayed 8pm Sunday Sky 89 & Freeview 21

Tune in to join Bomber and his revolving panel of bloggers and Auckland opinion shapers as they offer an up-to-date half hour review of the political media issues of the current week from a very Auckland perspective.

THIS WEEK: Chris Trotter and Cameron Slater…

HIGHLIGHTS 2010
Best Minister

Worst Minister

Best thing Government did

Worst thing Government did

Best thing the opposition did

Worst thing the opposition did

Best minor party

Worst minor party

Best MP

Worst MP

PREDICTIONS 2011
The Economy – what will happen domestically and international

How does the Government sell a privatization agenda?

How does the Government sell the Welfare cuts?

Predictions for National, Labour, Greens, Maori Party, ACT and United

Final prediction
Join Citizen A Facebook group
TWITTER

Apparently they are big in Arizona right now.

It’s Tuesday, its hot, I’m busy, chat amongst yourselves.

Topic suggestions:

• Targets for harpooning
• Technology reviews
• If the army was to replace the Steyr AUG IW what should they get?

from the Top 15 Celebrity Mullets

9. David Bowie

While many credit Bowie with pioneering the modern mullet, he loses points because he was pretending to be an alien when he did it.

Penultimate Citizen A screened on 23 December 2010.

Citizen A – 7pm Thursdays Triangle TV, replayed 8pm Sunday Sky 89 & Freeview 21

Join Citizen A Facebook group
TWITTER

P

I had the severe mis-fortune of having to go get some supplies for the camping trip. It was hot, sticky, humid and the worst animal of all was out in abundance at Botany.

Traffic and fool pedestrians who think that in a car vs. human accident they will win, were everywhere. But the single worst driving menaace are f*ckwit drivers who think that it is acceptable to back into car parks.

When I am dictator for life, the first people against the wall will be drivers who back into car parks.

These wankers sit blocking up the traffic waiting for a car park then someone BEHIND them drives off, they then slam their car into reverse and attempt to take the car park. In the laws of car park driving, they have forfeited that spot…they drove PAST it. Just because they like to park by backing into car parks doesn’t give then a right to take the car park.

The backing skills of “back parkers” also leaves a lot to be desired, most using the braille method of distance control.

They need to be shot.

The only thing worse than “back parkers” is caravan, trailer and boat towers travelling during peak holiday season. That is another post, though I think you all know what the punishment should be for them…yep…same as that for “back parkers”.

Maybe I will have a taser warning system in place for first offenders, second offenders get a more permanent solution for their inconsiderate behaviour.

I was reading through several commentators articles about the political year and was thinking they had it about right until they all made silly mistakes.

First up Matt McCarten – he runs through various politicians and his opinions of them and then finishes up with complete tosh about Len Brown and the “victory” of the left wing in Auckland.

Instead, Brown united the left, raised as much money as the other side and gained a huge majority for his team. Even more impressively, he destroyed the right-wing C&R machine. Since he’s been mayor, he hasn’t put a foot wrong. He’s spread around the jobs to include his opponents, but made sure his supporters are in the key posts.

Uhmmm…Matt is dead wrong. There was only one left wing candidate so no need for uniting, there isn’t a huge majority and that will become apparent next year. He didn’t destroy C&R, and if he did then he also destroyed City Vision/Labour. Since being mayor he has put a great wrong. His secret trust revealed his utter hypocrisy on transpacrency and honesty, he appointed his campaign pals and former toadies into crony positions, his 100 things in 100 days has produced about 5 things so far and we are so far 56 days into the 100 days, and jacked up rates by more than 3 times what he promised.

Then we have Mrs Colin Carruthers QC, who must have got her husband to write all but the last paragraph, and that shows her utter ineptitude at political musings.

Act needs a hard taskmaster, a leader who when he barks “jump” has his MPs squeal “how high?” as they work like navvies, punching above their weight.

And with Winston Peters looking like returning, this Act leader must be someone who’s already proved to be more than a match for Peters in the House.

It’s a desperate situation, and calls for a comeback.

So, Richard Prebble – leave a Brian Lochore note on the kitchen table: “Gone to Wellington. Saving Act tomorrow.”

Anyone who thinks that Richard Prebble is the answer to anything is bat-shit crazy.

The lsat lot to look at are the fools from the Fairfax political team. The fact that it includes pinko Vernon Small shows up in the trite rubbish that masquerades as commentary.

Apart from rating Simon Power about 20 places above his true station in life, I think it is funny that they rate David parker, essentially an invisible man in labour’s caucus above even Simon Power. You know they are vacuous when they write this about Phil Goff:

The Labour leader can be satisfied with his performance in 2010. The party didn’t go up in the polls, but at least it didn’t see its support nosedive either. Has given Annette King, David Parker and David Cunliffe their heads as they revamp party policy, and dealt decisively with the disloyal Chris Carter. But at the same time, he has failed to land a serious punch on John Key and will need to do more to fire next year.

Satisfied? Only a complete twat could be satisfied with Phil Goff’s performance. Oh wait…Vernon Small is a Fairfax political journalist.