Cactusing the Youth

Cactus Kate continues the review of youth candidates. Today she looks at Labour and Greens candidtates:

Deborah Mahuta-Coyle

Should she be an MP? Of course not. Mahuta-Coyle joins a long list of Labour staffers who think they can be MP’s. Not many have done anything else but leave University and work in the Party.

Could she be an MP? For Labour, of course. She’s a perfect candidate. Academically better qualified than Kim Kardashian who has slipped her way up to number 13 on the Labour List, Mahuta-Coyle is also Tainui and a female that gives her as many points as all of Stuart Nash’s degrees and work experience combined.

Will she be an MP? Here is hoping not as it would mean Labour would have polled 30-33% on Saturday. I predict she will be miraculously “re-appointed” in the Opposition Leaders office working from Monday for Labour’s next leader.

Michael Wood

As an observer by far the best thing Michael has ever done in his life was marrying a woman far smarter and more politically astute than he is as she is picking Labour to lose three key electorates. Wood is also somewhat unique in that he is one of the only men I have read of in politics who does something called splitting childcare. That is, he works part-time to look after the kiddies. I cannot imagine “Iron” Mike Williams and his bovver boy mates ever sanctioning that.

Despite being the whipping boy to stand and fail in safe National seats, Wood seems to be a genuinely nice man who I have known of since University days. With his child minding duties he should be winning all those silly polls as to which politician would you leave your kiddies with? Wood doesn’t trumpet a great academic record, sporting prowess or anything really. He doesn’t have to, he’s a Unionist.

Jerome Mika

Mika is an EPMU bitch make no mistake about that. His candidate page is full of idealistic waffle and weasel words and should have been ripped apart by Labour’s Comms team and rewritten as it tells us absolutely nothing about him. At number 36 on the Labour list he needs 34% to have a look in so his wiki is premature as well.

Holly Walker

The horrid grating inequality thrashing is dull and boring which means she’s the perfect little card carrying pinko. Her rejection of fifth form economics puts her in line to be the Greens Finance Spokeswoman.

Julie Anne Genter

Should she be an MP? An American Greenie dictator of the New Zealand public transport system? I think not.

Could she be an MP? Bit of a one-trick pony in a farm facing the ETS really. It is bad enough having an Australian as the co-Leader, and now the Greens are foisting a Yank on the House of Representatives?

Will she be an MP? I hope so for no other reason than at number 13 on the Greens list it would mean Labour would have had an atrocious night and there will be blood on the floor.

  • Stuart

    Great to see you picked all the nastiest quotes and used them out of context… why not just link to the page so people read it for themselves, and give your own commentary?

  • Observation

    Why does Kate hate Kim Kardashian so much?

    • Cactus Kate

      Sorry it’s a bit of a slight against Kim to keep comparing her to Neh Neh.

  • Anonymous

    Somebody’s a bit sour about Seymour and Whittington having no chance of getting in. Having said that, I’d be pissed off too if my party had an average age of 94, and my leader had a knack for railing everybody that isn’t his missus.

    • Cactus Kate

      As outlined at length, that’ve a better chance than the union scum from Labour.

      • Anonymous

        Looking forward to the review of the Mana rabble, CK. Should be good….. ;)