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Understanding Depression, Ctd

by Whaleoil on November 3, 2011

Continuing on from my post of yesterday. During the worst time, de-toxing from anti-depressants I experienced the lowest and  nastiest time of the whole experience. I also suffered depersonalisation at the time…it is too hard to describe. I hated myself, I hated everyone else around me and I did and said and did hateful things, and I can barely remember them because of the depersonalisation. I am so grateful that I have good friends, understanding friends, I nearly lost them all.

This paragraph and this image helps a little to understand it:

I’ve always wanted to not give a fuck. While crying helplessly into my pillow for no good reason, I would often fantasize that maybe someday I could be one of those stoic badasses whose emotions are mostly comprised of rock music and not being afraid of things. And finally - finally - after a lifetime of feelings and anxiety and more feelings, I didn’t have any feelings left. I had spent my last feeling being disappointed that I couldn’t rent Jumanji.

I felt invincible.

 

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  • Kokila Patel

    There is little information put out by GPs who prescribe anti-depressants in increasing numbers – about the side effects, and the long term effects.  Scarily, I went to my GP and mentioned my 5 year old’s bed wetting, and one of the things I was offered was anti-depressants, because maybe the bedwetting was due to trauma.  I wonder just how many people have been on them for more than 5 years?  What their prospects are in the future?  How will this affect their enjoyment of life in their old age?

  • http://unsolicitedious.wordpress.com/ Unsolicitedious

    You’re a brave fella Whale oil – tackle everything in the public eye and then go public with your struggle with depression. Good on you. The more people that speak up and share their experiences the better. 

    And I think everyone can relate to the sentiments in the cartoon – we all need to be validated, appreciated, understood & accepted but depression makes these things even harder as the second you say you have it, people do a double take then talk about ‘their other friend who has depression’. 

    It’s a huge issue and its symptoms are varied so the more people speak up the more people realise it is not something you can put in a tidy little box.

  • Navy Greg

    WO, your strategy for dealing with it works. unsolited…. fuck I can’t spell, the above correspondent, says “we all need to be validated, appreciated, understood & accepted” I agree, and you are. This site gets more hits per day than newsdork zb.
    We are with you mate, and I thank you for making my space a better place.
    Cheers big guy, regards Greg