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Banksie has some work to do

by Whaleoil on December 8, 2011

via the tipline

Epsom seems to have gone to the pack. Banksie clearly has some work to do to clean up his patch.

With domestic violence and dognapping incidents, dogs with name suppression, a meth lab on Victoria Avenue, a brothel in Ascot Avenue…and now rampant rooting at Remuera Rackets!

This anonymous letter has been received by members of Remuera Rackets Club in Auckland!

From volley to serve you have to admire this perve. He certainly seems to be running one up a few of the ladies that is for sure.

Rooting at Remuera Rackets Club

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  • diabolos

    Well then – its not surprising that National voters are also being members of Unions as well.  Its a sign of general moral degeneration on the right.

    This man may well be enjoying “attacking that gap with spakfilla” but for those of us on the left who are still reeling from the swissball and naked 18 year olds in Haitaitai … our faith is shaken by the ruling classes demonstrating that they are as horny as any common lefty.

    I would say it is wholly due to the influence of the upper echelons joining and supporting Unions such as the Maritime Union for instance.

    Let one smidgin of leftist dogma in – and they start behaving like common people.

  • diabolos

    And – can i get hold of an application form to join the Remmers Racket Club.  It sounds like  hotbed of leftist possibilities.

    Well – helloooo ladies …..

    • Orange

      You’re weird.

      • diabolos

        Why thank you mate … coming from you thats a sensible comment

    • Thorn

      You don’t sound like a tennis-club person.

  • Lucy

    Banks better start with his own patch at home before telling others to clean up theirs….

  • Anonymous

    I think that when the guy was confronted, it would have been a case of “new balls, please…..” 

  • Tjspooner

    The husbands should know that it takes two to tango. If their hotwives are playing around,  maybe they really are willing sluts……….

  • MrV

    Makes you see their website in a totally different light.
    http://www.tttennis.co.nz/page_adult-tennis_1599

    • highly strung trophy wife

      click on ‘coaches’ and rank them in order of who you think……

      • Cactus Kate

        Have to say all the men there look highly rootable the problem would be guessing which one it actually is

      • Anon

        If you replicate the first two lines of the letter in MS Word with the same font, there is only one name on that coaches page that makes the other words line up…

      • the wooden horse

        It all sounds far too cryptic for me to figure out

      • James

        most of the names have 14 or 15 characters (including the space between surname and christian name).  Though I can’t be assed playing around with MS Word to see how fonts line up.  I’d be 99% sure just from reading the profiles to be certain who it is.  Doesn’t seem that difficult to guess who is the player for anyone with a bit of life experience ?

  • Paddles83

    Harden Up team  I thought Tennis was all about “Same Racket but Different Balls”

  • Quintin Hogg

    Ahhh, that explains the squawking. Not just balls hitting a racket then.

  • Antland02

    Leicester Monk interesting name.

    • Phoenix

      Have I missed something, how is Leicester Monk relevant?

  • Scanner

    How disappointing finding out your missis has been getting DNA on the front seat of the Merc when she was supposed to be playing rackets with the girls.
    The only reason these pillars of society will be playing away is the meat they get served at home is getting a bit rancid.Sob sob, man up you limp dicks just remember it takes two to party.

  • middleagedwhiteguy

    I could not think of a better recruitment drive than this.

  • H2

    Big news is he has a pair of balls that would kill crazy horse.Seems all roads are leading to the tennis club.Many women from the recently shut down Remuera Brothel are now in residence ,masquerading as yummy mummys.

  • max_power

    “There is a current uproar as one of the husbands married to his current exploit has just found out…and he has personally confronted the creep.”

    Well you’d think one of the other husbands married to said exploit might have stepped in to prevent this whole mess from ever hitting the newstands, wouldn’t you.

    Damn their hides.

  • Emperor Augusta

    this place sounds more debauched than ancient rome

  • Gazzaw

    It’s easy to imagine this letter being drafted by ‘Outraged x 3′ over a couple of bottles of chardy in the depths of the Remmers northern slopes! Their vocab ain’t that great – five mentions of ‘creeps’
    and the mind boggles at the thought of a ‘volatile female member’ (in bold font too)! Hardly the stuff of a Dio or St Cuths education – they must have gone to EGGS.

    Let’s hope that Banksie can get this sorted.
     
     
     
       

    • FACTOR 35

      Yea, sounds a bit like they may be the sun baked leathery skin variety that can’t figure out whyt all they get for their money is actual tennis lessons.

    • EX Navy Greg

      I take umbrage Gazzaw, When I was at Rangitoto college in the late 70′s EGGS girls were godesses we aspired to impress.However i failed miserably and ended up with a polecat from Te Awamutu  who I met at a karaoke night at the RSA. Thank fuck for 22 years at sea  :)

  • Agent BallSack

    Fantastic advertising ploy! Prospective female membership has never been higher.

  • Anonymous

    Banks can’t sort this, he ran for the party whose leader would be referred to El Extramarital if he was Mexican.

  • EX Navy Greg

    Epsom is awesome . If you ever have to let some pressure out of your back wheels, that’s the place to do it. nomnomnom!

  • DONKEY

    Troy Turnball??

  • Steve

    i’ve heard of ’grooming’ a child for bad things OR you can ’groom’ animals….you can not ‘groom’ a weathered, fake tanned and bored harridan with too much time on her hands. Perhaps these men need to keep their loose women in line.

  • RossCo

    I love it! What fun you have up “Norf.”
    I’m certainly reading between the lines, but it sounds like my kind of tennis club! I suspect the spellcheque may have been working flat out on the letter – did it really mean volatile? or was it vulnerable the wrinkly writers were hunting for??  How to adapt my usual term for “stay at home prostitutes”  though – It’ll be tough. I wonder if the deeply upset brigade know that mere mortals upon seeing deeply tanned posers these days now think … “No job” rather than “Home based hooker”

  • NK

    What a racket! Sounds like Tiger has a competitor. This guy ain’t too smart making calculated moves on the trophy wives.