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Labour’s new rankings

by Whaleoil on December 19, 2011

David Shearer has announced his new “refreshed” rankings:

Labour leader David Shearer has put five new people onto his front bench and given the number five slot to David Cunliffe – the man he defeated as Labour leader last week.

Mr Cunliffe has lost his finance portfolio and previous number 3 ranking to David Parker – but has managed to get the significant economic portfolio of economic development.

Jacinda Ardern has received a significant promotion from 19 to 4, and becomes Labour’s highest ranked woman. Ms Ardern will do the social development portfolio, putting her head to head with Minister Paula Bennett during a period of welfare reform.

As expected David Parker has taken the finance role, and Shane Jones has been boosted from 13 to the front bench. He will take a new ‘regional development’ portfolio and is an associate finance spokesman.

Mr Shearer said the team focused on new areas of priority including the environment – a portfolio given to his deputy Grant Robertson – and rebuilding links with business and provincial New Zealand.

“I have built a team that brings forward new faces.”

Maryan Street is a fresh face? David Parker? Clayton Cosgrove? Oh please.

The funniest appointment of all is Jacinda Ardern, she couldn’t even beat Nikki Kaye and for some reason she is going to deliver killer blows to Judith Collins, Hekia Parata and Paula Bennett?

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  • Anonymous

    Really, Jacinda, what is the point of her?  What has she ever done?  Can’t wait for Paula to start calling her comrade.

    • Troy

      They need to have her shadow the Minister of Racing, with those knashers she will tear him apart.  Like a lamb to slaughter and what about the freshness of departing the Clark-era… didn’t Shearer know Ardern idolises Helen and her lesbo girlfriend Heather?  She is exactly of the same ilk and Shearer just blew it big time.

  • ConwayCaptain

    So La Petite Trotskyite si number 4.  Will she address everyone as Comrade and how are the Cadres advancing.  The mind boggles.

    Crusher will take her in chew her around and then spit her out.

    OH DEAR!!

  • Guest

    “The funniest appointment of all is Jacinda Ardern, she couldn’t even beat Nikki Kaye and for some reason she is going to deliver killer blows to Judith Collins, Hekia Parata and Paula Bennett?”

    Never were truer words spoken.

    • http://twitter.com/ChiefsFan73 Rhys Wilson

      clop clop neigh neigh, Nek Minnit Pal meaty bites.

  • Anonymous

    Heh….. Shane Jones in “regional development”. 
    I’ll bet there is a particular “region” that he’s really keen on “developing”…….

    • Peter Wilson

      You’ve hit it Thor42. The jokes will be unbearable. And the labour women folk, having to support their regional development spokesperson.

      “Has the minister received any reports of asset development in the movie industry, which may be inappropriate?”

      • Troy

        True.  Any many a stupid political commentor have said that Jones will still make it to the top… not a chance… anytime people hear the name Shane Jones, first thought is his beating off in hotels – the stigma will remain forever immemorial.

  • insider

    Economic development seems a bit lightweight for Cunliffe, especially when you have Jones in a similar role. Better to have put him up against Waitak woman given his proven ability to needle what could be a weak spot.

    • Peter Wilson

      The nats should just ignore Parker, and pretend Cunliffe is the true finance spokesperson.

  • jabba

    most of his new team failed to win their seats during the election but he rates them because?????

  • devlsadvocate

    They’re fucking with us, right? Right? Miss Glamour going to go head to head with Bennett on social issues? She’s got no credibility!

    Surely they could find someone more practical in the whole wide Labour Party?

    • sthnjeff

      Raymond Huo…. Spokesman on Building and Construction… I would doubt he would no what end of a hammer to hold!

      • Kosh103

        Tolley didnt know a text book from a train and yet Key thought she would be good for education. Turns put she was crap and a liar to boot, so lets hold judgement on this fellow till we see if he knows which end of the hammer hits the nail.

    • David

      What gave Bennett credibility when she got it? A BA, working for Murray McCully, List MP? Just cos she is a westie doesn’t mean she has credibility.  

      • Hyperguest

        She won her seat, shit-head.  Twice.  Unlike the pony screeching across the floor, she had nothing handed to her on a plate.

      • diabolos

        Agreed David – and @a6e4e7faabb48049915c0991500ffe68:disqus i think you need to re-examine the words shit and head – and perhaps look at yourself.  Bennett has had a lucky escape.  She neednt think that the large numbers of genuine votes will let her off scotfree now or at the next election.

        Labour have not done themselves any favours with this “lineup” – its like filling your front bench with Paula Bennett – or a collection of used inner-tubes from the local tyre shop – either way it will look and sound the same.

        Shit head

      • David

        Hyperguest, before she won it, she lost it in 2005, and this time she won in by the skin of her teeth – so I wouldn’t be bragging about that.  Shit head.

        And being on the benefit in the past is a pretty sad excuse for credibility, if thats what you are talking about.  

  • Super Guest

    Terrible list. Raymond Who as a spokesman on…anything? Is he finally going to do something to earn that big fat government pay-check? Can’t believe they haven’t dumped Cosgrove yet, either. The man gives a bad name to bags of hammers.

    • diabolos

      Huo is the biggest embarrassment lying in waiting for the labour party … he is a tibet hating lying pro beijing prick

    • Gazzaw

      He maybe an embarassment but labourt can’t allow him to lose face with the local Cinese community – he is the source of major party funding.

      • diabolos

        Matey i rest my case.  Labour are fucked and they dont yet know it.

  • diabolos

    Paula could have a new soft drink named after her … “9-up” or similar.

    Hyperguest is a shithead

  • Anonymous

    Except the training incentive allowance, of course.

    • David

      and the dole back in the day, don’t you forget

    • Kosh103

      Which she then took of people who are in the same situation she was in when she got it.

  • An observer

    Clayton Cosgrove the MP you get when you dont get an MP.he is known as” butt head”and that is a compliment.He was dumped at the recent election.His claim to fame.He used taxpayers money to buy nine meals at a cost of $6300 dollars,a suit for $1600 dollars and a taxi ride for $700 dollars.He is going to be the shadow minister for State owned enterprises and commerce ,probably out of his depth ,looks like he never mised a meal in his life.

  • Bill Barnsley

    Shearer has demonstrated quite clearly that Helen Clarke still runs the show.
    Ardern and Robertson are part of the old system and are the best example yet of why labour stopped being the workers party decades ago and is and continues to be the party workers party. Don’t believe me? Look at both their profiles on the parliamentary website. From school to parliament in an uninterrupted trajectory of insider jobs and placements.
    Cosgrove made a mess of Judith Collins fists with his chin repeatedly over the last three years and quite what value Mahuta has added to anything EVER is a mystery to most.
    And Mallard, the one man Omnishambles who manages to repel voters with every keystroke.
    Shearer never really stood a chance did he?
    Cunliffe may well be a loathsome figure but at least he is coherent, I predict another change in around 18 months when Cunliffe has his final tilt only to be defeated by Robertson. The ultimate insider who has never done anything but plot and scheme his way to power protected from the real world by the creatures from princes street.

    • David

      So its ok when Paula Bennett goes straight from uni (BA) to working for Murray McCullay to list MP to social development minister? Why aren’t you complaining about that?

      • Peter Wilson

        Perhaps the difference is Bennett is a proven performer at cabinet level, whereas Robertson has yet to be tested, except for a loyalty test which he failed dismally.

        I mean, most people would make their choice and stick to it, even in the face of defeat. What Robertson did is unprecedented and disgraceful, quite frankly.

  • Bill Barnsley

    Nearly forgot Jones. If you needed to draw somebody a picture of a lazy Maori….
    How can anybody ever take this twit seriously. A sense of entitlement that goes beyond even Chris Carter for bare faced cheek.
    We will never forget that he tried to get away with making us pay for him to wank himself to sleep.

    • diabolos

      You are right mate – jones is a lost cause.

    • Gazzaw

      labour would have us forget Bill.

  • hair apparent

    a ‘refreshed’ clayton cosgrovel ??!!
     
    WTF!!
     
    is this the same cozzie who was a boarder at st bedes where they all reckon he was a ‘wimpish crawling snitch, always narking on any of the lads who played up’
     
    no wonder he joined labor……

  • Jman

    Ok who is Jacinda Adern banging to have got a promotion like that? Is this a joke?

    • diabolos

      Question has to be – who would bang jacinda ardern.  I mean thats like – got to be the answer for the Universe

  • Baldy

    Slighly off topic, BUT, how much better off is the labour party without Carmel Septic Tank !  Irony is that even if she had won Waitakere off Paul Bennett she was doomed to teh back benches given her support of silent T….irony or what ????

  • Anonymous

    “Jacinda Ardern has received a significant promotion from 19 to 4, and
    becomes Labour’s highest ranked woman. Ms Ardern will do the social
    development portfolio, putting her head to head with Minister Paula
    Bennett during a period of welfare reform”

    LOL fuckin LOL. Thank God for MySky!