December 2011

Whaleoil Awards

The voting has finished and the winner (and losers) are:

Rookie of the Year – Maggie Barry, for her relentless sledging of Andrew Williams and her mocking of Phil Goff during the campaign

Worst SMOG – Darien Fenton, for her stupid and ill advised attacked against a Kiwi icon. This stupidity and the resulting media storm probably cost Labour a good 2-3% of the party vote. She scored 63% in the Army vote.

Best Political Jounalist – Sean Plunket for skewering Phil Goff and his silly police numbers claims during the election campaign.

Best Political Blog – my loyal army members voted overwhelmingly for me. However I’d like to award Red Alert an award for providing me and other bloggers with endless mirth and opportunity to mock.

Worst Politician: Darien Fenton won this with 51% of the vote.  She epitomises the nastiness of Labour. Her attack on the Mad Butcher in the middle of the election campaign just shows how truly nasty she is.

Worst Political Blog: No contest here, The Standard won this despite all the self proclaimed technical genius of Lynn Prentice.

Worst Political Journalist - Patrick Gower, for his tirade against “dirty deals” under MMP, which all happened to involve right-leaning parties, whilst ignoring the fact that Labour kept Jim Anderton in Wigram for years by standing dud candidates, and that the Greens were openly encouraging people to give the electorate votes to Labour, and in the case of Kevin Hague, actually bragging about voting for another candidate rather than for himself. Had Gower been as acid-tongued towards the Left as he was to the Right, he could have been nominated for best journalist; as it stands he is a partisan hack.

Best Electorate MP – Damien O’Connor by  nose. There were just 6 votes in it and second place winner Sam Lotu Iiga. An honourable mention there for Sam.

Best Minister – Judith Collins took this out, she smacked around Corrections, implemented container cells and launched private prisons again, replaced Barry Matthews. In Police she turned around morale, gave Howard Broad his beans, sidelined useless contenders for his replacement and got in a solid Commissioner that the troops respected. She also stepped up to take the hard jobs that Simon Power refused to do, the implementation of 3 strikes, car crushing legislation and dealing with a wayward Supreme Court judge. One of the things she pushed for as well as Minister for Veterans Affairs is the funding of travel for Veterans going to commemorations. Wayne Mapp dropped the ball on that one and Crusher again stepped up to clean the mess.

Worst List MP – Darien Fenton, she takes out her 3rd Oil award. Spectacular consistency taking out all the awards for worst. Worst SMOG, Worst Politician and Worst List MP.

These awards speak for themselves. Though I must point out that David Shearer really needs to axe Darien Fenton, she has manged to become New Zealands most loathed politician, she is easily costing Labour 5 in the polls.

Whaleoil Redux 2011 – Q1

Today is the last day of the year and what a year it has been. The chaos and mayhem I created was:

January 2011 – 151 posts

The new year started with yet another case of celebrity name suppression. Martin Devlin had thrown a tanty and decided to bounce on the bonnet of his missus’ car. With the ensuing media frenzy he eventually outed himself.

I called time on the Royal NZ Ballet:

From the latest available published accounts for the Royal NZ Ballet.

For the 2009 year.

Ministry for Culture and Heritage funding – $3,959,000
Sponsorship and donations – $2,010,000
Box office revenue – $2,631,000
Total Revenue  - $8,600,000

On these figures the Royal NZ Ballet bludges $1.50 for every dollar they raise in ticket sales. That’s right, you and I pay $1.50 for every $1.00 some liberal elite wanker pays to sit and watch ballet.

I interviewed Judith Collins for my Summer Series interviews. I am yet to decide if I will do another Summer series.

I outed the Albany Superette for selling P-Pipes. It subsequently was followed in the MSM days later. I next day I got my first legal threat of the year.

On January 9 I highlighted Sunday Star Times and their dodgy polling company Horizon. They never learned from that post and went on to become completely discredited with their methodology and results. It still didn’t stop Radio Live from featuring them, though I understand that Horizon actually paid Mediaworks to do it.

I drove halfway down the Napier-Taupo highway to meet Garth McVicar for my Summer Series interviews. Followed up a few days later with an interview with Trevor Mallard. I doubt he will do another. While in Wellington I also popped in for coffee with Celia Wade-Brown and talked about her victory in the local body elections.

I started asking questions about Len Brown’s 100 things in 100 days. Len Brown starts to desperately look for things to do in his 100 days. On day 79 Len Brown released 52 things he was going to do.

On January 20 I reminded Len Brown about his promise for a referendum on Maori seats. This was before the Maori Statutory Board blew up in his face:

He made this promise throughout the campaign, but has chickened out of a referendum. On Q&A he was trying to buy himself some wriggle room.

On TVNZ’s Q & A yesterday, Mr Brown said a referendum on creating Maori seats on the council “may well” be possible in the next three years

This blog has reminded him of his promise herehere and here.

Brian Rudman felt obliged to attack Len Brown and his failure of the 100 things in 100 days promise.

I had a beer with Chris Trotter for my Summer Series interviews. I also went to the Unite Union bunker and interviewed Matt McCarten.

I asked whether or not Labour was snooping on your emails. This story develops in later months.

I started my battle with the Teachers unions.

The good people at Kaimata Retreat get suspicious of a lying blonde tart and google Pearl Going. They subsequently contact me and I out her re-emergence as a bullshit artist.

After Phil Goff handed in his man card by dying his hair I started a series of hair do suggestions for him.

 February 2011 – 187 posts

Chris Hipkins kicked off the first SMOG of Labour with porn spam on Facebook profile.

On February 2 John Key said no to Winston Peters and set the election date.

Len Brown finally released his full list of 100 useless things he was going to do inside 100 days.

On the 6th of February Len Brown fell for the classic Michael Bloomberg train sting. Jonathan Marshall and a photographer bust Len Brown and his hypocrisy over riding the rails to work.

The pressure built on Len Brown over his little train ride double standard.

I told Nikki Kaye that she could have a gay Mardis Gras but only if the government or council didn’t pay for it.

Michael Wood announced on 11 February that he wanted to ensure that there were no penis lollies in Botany despite the fact that there were no penis lollies in Botany.

Trevor Mallard uses Red Alert to attack Jami-lee Ross as a “Tory lump of lard” and accuses him of being a “nasty piece of work”.

On February 15 I said that Carmel Sepuloni wouldn’t win in Waitakere.

On 16 February I highlighted for the first time the skulduggery that was going on in Rodney electorate for the National party selection.

It was in February that we had a rash of MSM writing articles completely unrelated to Hanover and Mark Hotchin but tied them in in either headlines or the body of the article.

The Rodney Selection skulduggery continued. At this stage it only involved a local and the electorate chair, it was however to go much deeper than this. I then outed the involvement of a former South African white supremacist in the manipulations in the Rodney selections. It took several posts to tell the story.

Having dealt with the local skulduggery in Rodney it then became apparent that that there was two separate cases of skulduggery going down. The rather inept local incident with Brent Robinson and then the involvement of the regional hierarchy in attempting to stack appointed delegates. The Rodney selection was then postponed. It was to get much worse.

Serious muckraking was then deployed against Mark Mitchell. It was run by a sitting board member and involved a journalist as well. Things were getting very murky in Rodney electorate.

March 2011 – 187 posts

The Rodney selection was delayed so an audit of membership could be completed. On 4 March the selection process was cancelled and a new selection processed launched such was the level of skulduggery. A serious miscarriage of justice in selection was averted. The irony is the board member most deeply involved int eh murk now claims credit for halting the selection. This is hugely ironic because it was him that was visiting delegates with printouts of websites, a tactic that was later employed in Coromandel by the same board member on behalf of the same candidate.

The day after Jami-lee Ross won the Botany by-election Phil Goff claimed victory for the Labour party.

Speaking of the Labour party, I helpfully make some suggestions for their coming campaign. They ignored them. We know where that ended up.

Trevor Mallard hits a snag using email.

I leaked an email from Perry Rush of the NZPF outlining how they were going to run a campaign against Anne Tolley.

The very first Txts from New York.

I reviewed my Savage 17HMR from Hamills.

Why going to the movies sucks

I took the kids to Tin Tin yesterday. $82 dollars later we left manky as hell. The movie was stink and the price was stinker, most of that was the food…the ice-creams obviously have gold dust in them and the soft drinks use water filtered through platinum coated virgins hymens in order to charge the prices they do.

Movie critic Roger Ebert analyses why film revenues are dropping and it isn’t because of piracy:

2. Ticket prices are too high. People have always made that complaint, but historically the movies have been cheap compared to concerts, major league sports and restaurants. Not so much any longer. No matter what your opinion is about 3D, the charm of paying a hefty surcharge has worn off for the hypothetical family of four.

3. The theater experience. Moviegoers above 30 are weary of noisy fanboys and girls. The annoyance of talkers has been joined by the plague of cell-phone users, whose bright screens are a distraction. Worse, some texting addicts get mad when told they can’t use their cell phones. A theater is reportedly opening which will allow and even bless cell phone usage, although that may be an apocryphal story.

4. Refreshment prices. It’s an open secret that the actual cost of soft drinks and popcorn is very low. To justify their inflated prices, theaters serve portions that are grotesquely oversized, and no longer offer what used to be a “small popcorn.” Today’s bucket of popcorn would feed a thoroughbred.

Face of the Day

Are they sharing a tent?

Kerre Woodham is now sharing things she really shouldn’t. Though I must admit the mental picture this time is a whole lot better.

Are Deborah and Kerre sharing a tent?

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Twitter Updates for 2011-12-30

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Twitter Updates for 2011-12-30

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Is there anything more uncomfortable?

Deborah Coddington Facebooks a dilemma:

Yes Deborah there is something more uncomfortable…thinking about Glassons togs wedged up your butt crack filled with sand!

I’m sure Mr Carruthers QC can help fish them out.

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Mental Health Break

Orca vs Great White

via Boing Boing

National Geographic has a short video about a 1997 whale watching excursion when the people got to watch a killer whale take down a great white shark.

The really cool thing? To pull off this kill, the whale had to learn a trick about shark anatomy and behavior. Treehugger’s Jaymi Heimbuch explains:

According to National Geographic, “To prey upon the shark, the Orca has learned how to immobilize it by turning it on its back — a state called ‘tonic immobility.’” Sharks freeze when rolled onto their backs. And that’s exactly the strategy the whale in this film seems to have taken, keeping the shark immobile until it suffocates, then and feeding on it.