Is this satire? Claiming the Wind?

Since this press release is form David Rankin I suspect it is satire, though with Maori claims these days I suspect it may not be. Still the parallels between water and wind are the same…unfortunately even if it is satire it is highly likely that some iwi (I Want It) out there will lodge a claim.

As the Government prepares to negotiate with Maori over ownership of rivers, a Waitangi Tribunal claim is being finalised for Maori to earn a dividend for the use of wind for commercial electricity generation.

Ngapuhi political commentator and Hone Heke Foundation chairman, David Rankin, has been approached by a cohort of hapu representatives to act as spokesperson for the claim.

“I’m not yet convinced about the full merits of the claim,” says Mr Rankin, “but in my preliminary discussions with the hapu representatives, they make some good points and I am hopeful that they will be able to get their claim finalised over the next few months.”

According to Mr Rankin, the planned claim will insist that a pan-tribal body be established to manage shares in commercial wind-generated electricity, and to exercise a casting vote on where wind turbines can be located.

Mr Rankin says that Maori entitlement to the wind can be justified under article two of the Treaty of Waitangi, which guarantees Maori full and exclusive ownership of all their properties. “Traditionally, the wind was regarded as a deity in Maori society, and Maori do not consider the Crown have the right to use it without Maori consent.”

Mr Rankin is encouraged by the recent Tribunal claim for water, and believes that the claim to wind will lead on to other areas of property rights such as aerospace.

UPDATE: It isn’t satire…David Rankin is deadly seriously…in a batshit crazy kind of way.

  • coventry

    lol – I hope it is satire, sadly I could see if going down this road.

  • Gary is lost in translation

    What about sun light? Must be able to skim some from the solar generators, public an private!!!

  • tarkwin

    That took the wind out of my sales, makes my yacht utterly useless and only a Maori would buy it. Please can I have my snap election now?

  • 2ndAmendment

    Of course it’s not satire – or if it is, it shouldn’t be. Remember Key signed the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous people, incorporating that into NZ law.

    The UN Declaration is quite clear that any exploitable resource in the country is the property of the indigenous people – whether it was discovered before or after colonization.

    So they have a claim, they courts will uphold it, because Key signed it into NZ law

    • tarkwin

      I was born here, that makes me indigenous. Good news though, you can have as much air and water etc as you want. Just tell them Tarkwin said it was O.K.

      • Rodger T

        Yep ,I`m an indigenous motherfucker too.

    • Will

      The UN Declaration doesn’t mean a thing. Key didn’t sign anything into NZ law, it’s a UN Declaration and not a statute. Only parliament can make, repeal, or amend laws for our country, and we certainly aren’t bound by the UN. Here’s what Key said at the time;

      “When we read out our affirmation statement we made it quite clear that
      nothing in the statement supersedes our laws or our constitution”

  • cows4me

    Actually if this is a fair go it is probably one of the better claims. I would suggest the strategic placement of wind generators outside the Waitangi Tribunal, the Auckland Maori council office and the Hone Heke Foundation. Plenty of wind there so perhaps they should be reimbursed.

  • Mr Sackunkrak

    Well, we treated the claim to radio waves as satire and look where that got us.

  • Paranormal

    I hope it’s real. The wind blew the roof off our house a while back – it’d be nice to be compensated by the owners of that wind now…

  • blokeintakapuna

    If a pan-tribal body can be set-up to manage/evaluate Maori’s claims now on wind – can they also extend this same body /authority to ensure ALL of Maori can benefit from the Billions already paid out to IWI?
    Will this same pan-tribal body also invest some of these Billions into programmes and initiatives into turning around all the appalling statistics Maori are often found behind? Criminal activity/prison stats, binge drinking, gambling, child abuse, family voilence…
    Surely this same pan-tribal body would be much better to spend it’s energies on turning around these shameful, mana-saping statistics rather than trying to claim who owns the wind… seems it’s all a bit of hot air to me…

  • Pete George

    We’ll need personal rain guages to measure a rain royalty.

    And don’t be surprised if emissions becomes an issue again, with a new take on fart tax.

  • Random66

    “…and Maori do not consider the Crown have the right to use it without Maori consent.”
    So do I have the right to breath, (because I’m using the wind to do so today), or will I need Maori consent? This is pathetic and wrong on so many levels and if Maori cared about future race relations they would forget about all this ownership of water and wind nonsense now. They didn’t create it, they can’t control it and it is insulting to most peoples intellect for them to even think it.

    • Mr Sackunkrak

      OK, if it’s game on as I suspect it is, cut all welfare to Maori, every Government Ministry and department is stripped of its “funding” and every “soap-on-a-rope” you see heading from Hamilton to Wellington for more “funding” is denied access to an Air NZ flight. That should sort the fuckers out. Fuck, the fat uselesss cunts might have to get jobs in the real world, that’ll set off the diabetic reactions, especially after they no longer have state funded insulin.

      • Random66

        You know it just occured to me that WO did an article on David Rankin not that long ago (July 19th) called ‘Pure Greed’ and talk about being a hypocrite. This is what D. Rankin had to say about the claimants in the recent Waitangi Tribunal water claim:

        “These claimants need to be honest. What they are after is a slice of the pie. This is not about culture, it is all about profit and personal gains,” says Mr. Rankin.

        Wow didn’t he do a U turn when the opportunity presented itself. I think we are going to have to do more than just cut funding to stop this gravy train.

        • Mr Sackunkrak

          Yup, and why we fund the Maori Council and indeed the Waitangi Tribunal is utterly beyond me. Where is the “Rest of NZ Tribunal”? Oh yeah, its called a General Election, but those State funded appointed racist cunts can get in the way of a democratically elected Government. Why?

    • AnonWgtn

      Sometimes my wind really smells, so I’m told – is this te Maori flatulance also or just Taniwha wind.

  • grumpy

    Fantastic! Clearly this is a no brainer. If water turns hydro turbines to create electricity, then the force that turns wind turbines is obviously maori property too.
    what happens to things of no commercial value? Do maori own any of them?

  • http://twitter.com/HarryBStard Harry B’Stard

    We’ll have to pay to breath

  • Gazzaw

    I was going to mention this scenario yesterday but I thought that I would be laughed off the blog. Seems to have fallen between the info cracks that they have claimed geothermal power as well so obviously there is a koha-eating steam taniwha in existence.

  • Joe Bloggs

    “the claim to wind will lead on to other areas of property rights such as aerospace.”

    I can’t wait to hear NASA’s response to the Maori Council toll-gate proposal for space station fly-bys…

    Perhaps they’d be better advised to channel money away from the lawyers and towards reducing child-abuse… or maybe insulating Maori homes so that the poor Auckland rate-payers don’t have to fund that as well.

  • JimboBug

    And all the farmers … after all they use sunlight to make their crops / grass grow.

    • grumpy

      Bastards!

  • GregM

    Oh good. After one of my killer curries, I will be able to invoice them for some credits.
    That’ll fuck em.

  • Grizz30

    Maybe they will claim the pot of gold sitting at the end of a Rainbow.

  • Mabel_Gruntfuttock

    Sorry John. But you can’t do the job …. so we just gotta let you go!

  • Euan.Rt

    I can see this as a serious claim. You know that the Maori spirits jump off Cape Reinga, so they can claim continuous use. I am sure there are some very unhappy spirits being blown back into the blades of those turbines! There is definitely a claim to financial retribution due to dismembered spirits and humiliation!

    • Travis Poulson

      I think the circus re: the radio spectrum proved that nothing is too stupid to be left off the table.

  • Mitch82

    I’m claiming rights over the earth’s molten core, in the name of Satan. Pay up or get your land off my core.

    • Rodger T

      Yeah well, I`m claiming the solid inner core ,so an obvious health hazard like the molten outer core attracts a premium square foot rate which you should be able to pass on.

    • Mr Sackunkrak

      You bastard, you trump me on my claim over gravity! My Amex is 438382233 bill me for one gazzillion dollars. My bad.

    • Mr Sackunkrak

      Actually, I just found my receipt for Uranus, you all owe me for holding it all together. Pay up, or I will turn it off. Then what will you do?

      • grumpy

        Hence the term…..”Uranus in a sack……”

  • Rodger T

    Fair`s fair ,now we know where to send the bill the next time we get hit with a weather bomb.

  • [email protected]

    Are the coon’s liable for the damage the wind brings? Roof blew off the shed a couple of years ago, now who can I send the bill?

    • Guest

      dumb comment redneck

      • Peter

        Have you never heard of Coon Cheese in Australia?
        http://www.coon.com.au/
        Uninformed comment thickshit.

      • Mr Sackunkrak

        Actually it was a good comment you useless bro. Tagged a bit of private property tonight?

  • Peter

    Makes me feel better farting now knowing the natives own the wind.

    • Mr Sackunkrak

      They won’t claim that wind Peter, the Greens don’t like it and are likely to tax the methane content.

  • Frank Thomas

    Heard this guy on Larry Williams show this afternoon and came across as a complete nut bar. Either that or it was a clever wind up…..

  • http://elephanza.blogspot.co.nz/ Duncan Brown

    Heard a guy talking about it on radio news, didn’t sound like satire

  • pukakidon

    These Maori Tonguers have lost the plot. If this crap continues National will see the last of my vote. Water, wind, what a load of shit.

    • Travis Poulson

      Sunlight and darkness are next.

      • Rodger T

        In a couple of weeks I`ll be able to sell you an extra hour of sunlight for a very reasonable fee , send me ur credit card.

        • Travis Poulson

          I don’t have a credit card, will these blankets and muskets do?

          • Mr Sackunkrak

            I have some beades to chuck into the hat if it will help make the fuckers go away. They liked them last time round.

  • redeye

    ‘Traditionally, the wind was regarded as a deity in Maori society’

    They plan to make a quid out of one of their gods? It’s not from Brian Tamaki?

    • Mr Sackunkrak

      Brian is a special case. Head, that is. But the tanahwa are after your white arse redeye. And they are expensive. Brian goes at half the rate. You choose. I feel yikky either way.

  • Grant Dawson

    I hope it isnt satire and I hope they go for it, with any luck that will be the straw that breaks someones back. It maybe the one thing brings the whole claim process to its disgusting end. Awww fuck , maybe I will win lotto

  • Steve and Monique

    OK,now if this is true,then someone needs to put these fuckers straight.Enough is enough,and a claim for wind is the last straw.We need to draw a line in the sand,and put this treaty/cash machine in to the place it deserves,History.Advise for you greedy,fantasy merchants is to fuck off,and work for your money like the rest of us.You are nothing more then boat people(as your own history states),and any claim, to what can only be discribed as a product of the Natural world(water and air/wind) is bullshit,even if you make up some hocus pokus to give credence to your claims.Now I will wait to be called a Racist,because anyone who says anything against these fantacists are.

    • Intheknow

      Heard today that labour and greens are going nuts they were cut out by Maori and they aren’t returning calls to them….BRILLANT

    • Rodger T

      You need to know who owns the sand before you are allowed to draw a line in it.

      • steve and monique

        Good point,will give Poseidon a call.

  • Travis Poulson

    Clearly Larry thinks he’s off his rocker. As do I, as does any normal kiwi with half a brain, white, black, brown or bloody pink. Listen to him from 3:55, he descends into an uncontrollable rant and Larry has to reign him on. Hilarious the way Larry laughed when Rankin said “I’m not xenophobic” , then Rankins senses mockery and immediate raises his voice to nutter level again.

    Any subsequent posts concerning Rankin he should be referred to as ” Rantin’ Rankin”.

  • Tristanb

    Do we have to pay them to fart?

  • Lion_ess

    New Zealanders – grow some spine, and demand that government/councils end their engagement with Maori godsticks and other utter stupidity. Put the taniwhas and orchestra of other Maori gods to bed once and for all. Even the Maoris think its a joke!

  • LesleyNZ

    More windy storms and rain tonight. David Rankin you want it – come and get it!

  • LesleyNZ

    Maybe it is timely for a snap election on the Maori water/wind claims issue and what the Treaty of Waitangi really is and means.

  • Malcolm Tucker

    “Jesus Christ, you are the fucking omnishambles, that’s what you are. You’re like that coffee machine, you know: from bean to cup, you fuck up.”

    • Travis Poulson

      I see. Never really looked at it that way.

    • LesleyNZ

      Jesus Christ does have power over the wind and the water. No one else does. The wind and the water obey him.

  • Jebus

    How are they going to tell their bits of wind from mine? Seems unworkable to me , ownership could be contested on the direction as well as the altiude, depends how high up your deity is.

  • Diane

    Why stop with the wind? Why not not claim oxygen then demand we all all pay a tax…..why not not claim carbon dioxide, then tax us all on the mass of plants we have as individuals on our properties…oh shit…..I may have given some leech an idea…..

  • GregM

    Mr Rankins rant actually clarified the issue for me.
    Clearly, they are anti the partial floats, so they will obfuscate, complicate and alienate as many people as possible, as long as they can clip the ticket on the way through. They don’t give a shit about the wind or the water, this is 100% gravy training.
    Gimme all your money ehoa!

  • MrV

    Well they may as well claim the Sun while they’re at it. Didn’t Maui throw a few flax ropes around it back in the day?
    Scary thing is we look at African tribal witchcraft and laugh at how nonscientific it is, but a similar thing is happening in NZ with taniwha, etc.
    How do you claim a collection of moving air molecules (wind) for god’s sake?

  • In Vino Veritas

    No one should be surprised by this. They have been allowed to get their foot in the door via the Waitangi Tribunal’s ruling on water, and now the pandora’s box has been opened.
    “Just singing in the rain” has been joined by singing in the wind, and before we know it, there will be singing in the sunlight.

  • Teletubby

    If Labour are all so worried about people going to live in Australia then they need to stop this shit as well. The National govt has been a complete disappointment, due to its desperate need for a coalition partner, they have rolled over every time the word treaty gets mentioned. If this goes ahead it will be the final fucking over of our economy. Time to leave the country before the rush me thinks, although it is tempting to stay just to laugh at all the Maori welfare agencies and Labour when they start crying about the cost of power next winter

    • Krim Dotcom

      its the fault of anyone who voted for MMP not National

  • Diane

    I can’t help thinking the Waitangi Tribunal are nothing but rubber stampers. Their one criteria, whenever a new claim pops up in front of them, is to ask themselves “is there a chance Maori can clip the ticket on this?” if the answer is yes then they rubber stamp it. They’re rich pickings for a comedian to do a Billy T James piss take.

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