The Race for Speaker, Ctd

The three main contenders are David Carter, Maurice Williamson and Tau Henare. I’ll cover each and will revise the post as fresh information comes in through the tip line.

David Carter

An old fashioned gentleman who’s courtesy is a byword in the National Party. Known to be diffident or opposed to becoming speaker but the top brass want to move him aside so they can seamlessly bring Nick Smith back into cabinet to run the environment portfolio that Amy Adams has proven to be so inept in.

Pros

  • Nice convenient fit
  • No one would mind calling him Sir David
  • No real enemies in the house

Weaknesses

  • Gentleman and relies on peoples good nature.
  • MPs don’t have a good natures
  • Winston and Trev will carve him up like the Christmas turkey

I find it hard not to feel a little sorry for David being put in this difficult position. He is too much of a gentleman and a team player to complain, but he is not a natural fit for speaker.

Maurice Williamson

Aside from Scott Simpson, Maurice is my oldest friend in caucus. He has many virtues that Scott doesn’t have, like ethics and a sense of theatre. Maurice is the first man to put on a debating team, a brilliant entertainer and a real raconteur.

Pros

  • Will dominate proceedings and ensure the smooth running of parliament
  • Will nail Winston and Trev on a daily basis until they learn who is boss
  • Bloody good in a knife fight, and known to be willing to take a few hits for a good cause
  • Discipline will be enforced without exception

Cons

  • Not a convenient fit for bringing Nick back into the environment portfolio
  • Will be the centre of attention in parliament
  • Offside with the brat pack who still have a lot of influence, even though he was proven right on Bill English being tits.

Tau Henare

Tau is a man I have grown to know and like over the last ten years. He has the underlying mongrel that is found in union fixers, and is usually lacking in National. He has low rat cunning almost as good as Russel Norman’s, and low bastardry that makes you wonder if he has spent time in Australia.

Pros

  • Makes Maurice look like a little girl in a knife fight
  • Good at getting factional war lords in behind the cause, no matter what faction they are
  • Hates Winston over the New Zealand First disaster, and got whacked by Trevor so is going to be very strong on parliamentary procedure

Cons

  • As rough as guts and way too interested in a big donneybrook just for the sake of it
  • Not the PM or Steven Joyce’s choice
  • Might seek utu on a few within National
  • Sir Tau would grate a good many in cabinet

From a theatrical perspective is a real toss up between Maurice and Tau. Maurice will be poetry in motion to watch, whereas Tau will not be burdened by the dignity the position when it comes to having a brawl. I find it hard to pick between the two.

  • Lion_ess

    With those rare qualities – low rat cunning and low bastardry, Tau Henare could be put to better purpose than House Speaker. Local Government Minister perhaps – that’s an area that needs a bloody great shake-up.

  • rockyr

    I was going to suggest we need Nick SMITH back in the Local Government portfolio, low rat cunning and bastardy might go better against the Greens in the Environment one.

    • http://www.whaleoil.co.nz Whaleoil

      We need Nick to retire

      • liberty

        No Nick is a bloody good MP.

        For such a bright cookie it still
        astonishing how he is

        sucked in with the carbon credit con.

        • Dion

          Remember that he has to hold on to his Nelson seat :-)

  • jay cee

    the nats can pick who they like.its only going to be a short term post anyway.up there with rearranging the chairs on the deck of the titanic.

  • RightOfGenghis

    Dirty Dog Tau eh bro, my ears are deafened by the sound of pig wings. Gets off his arse just long enough to fart and throw a bit of abuse around. An intellectual giant who thinks it’s okay for pregnant women to smoke. His big 40 rating on the party list reflects the high esteem he’s held in by his leader. Still stranger things have happened!

  • liberty

    For more good news it would have to be
    Maurice Williamson.

    Even if it just to keep Duckman and
    Peters in there rightful

    place.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MikeManNZ Michael Duke

    Please let it be Tau.

    I will bring the popcorn :)

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