As he should… I mean who would want to be a dud root?
Of all the grounds for divorce, “My husband won’t tie me up with cable ties and spank me when I’m bad” wins the prize for novelty.
And the prize goes to a 41-year-old British woman who filed for divorce because her husband wouldn’t act out scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey.
For those of you who’ve spent the last nine months either a) living in a convent, b) being a contestant on Big Brother or c) preoccupied with stuff that actually matters like, oh-I-don’t-know-Syria-perhaps, Fifty Shades of Grey is a bestselling series of erotic novels by EL James about a university graduate Ana Steele who agrees to become a sex slave for billionaire Christian Grey.
The aggrieved wife who played the mummy-porn card to secure her divorce is a banker who reportedly earns in excess of £400,000 a year.
Apparently she was bored with her allegedly dud-root of a husband so she did what many other women have done in similar situations. She bought some saucy underwear to try and raise her husband’s er, um, level of interest.
So far, so Dr Feelgood.
But when her husband refused to role play the creepy, moody, abusive sociopath Christian Grey, she initiated divorce proceedings citing her husband’s “boring attitude” to sex as evidence of “unreasonable behaviour”.
Her husband agreed with this assessment and didn’t contest the divorce – presumably to avoid having his libido or sexual tastes dissected and mulled over in the family division of the UK’s High Court.