Sex Tips with Barton Madbury

I’ve been giving some thought now on how I, Barton Madbury, can help the masses with tips to improve their lives. It seems to me that sex is indeed the great equaliser amongst human kind, and it really doesn’t matter what your preference is, every human deserves the dignity of a great sex life. I want to help people, so I thought I’d give some useful tips.

Firstly, it’s important to note that love is a connection. People confuse sex with love, and love with sex. The two require a connection rather than being the same. People focus too much on rusty trombones and leather play, and not enough on the gentle exchange of communication. So you need to get that right before anything else.

When you get to the physical part, its important to get the lighting right. Dim lights and shaded rooms are far superior to that of brightly lit rooms and/or the great outdoors. The connection is more important than looks, and people are self conscious when naked, so keep it dark.

Slowly start to undress. Ripping your clothes off and making aggressive moves and noises looks good in a Hollywood production, but in truth it sounds silly. Take off your shirt first. Then kick off your shoes. Stand on the tip toes of your socks and ease them off. Then slowly wriggle out of your pants until you are in your underpants only. Then make your way to the place of action.

Start stroking gently. Your hands are tools, use them like a craftsman would! Vary your pressure and don’t get stuck in a routine. Slow down your pace, then speed it up. Up down, round and round, fingertips and more, don’t be predictable. Show your creativity. Rub the nipples, caress the tummy, lick your lips and stroke the thigh. Erogenous zones are not just between the legs – there is a whole body to explore. A finger in the anus is often provocative but surprisingly enjoyable for some.

Oral technique is important too. Don’t start too fast, its never good to rush. You will be better at sex if you slow down. Then, increase the pace and action. These things are instinctive. Hips will soon start thrusting, hands will automatically start cupping, lips will start licking and it will all be good.

Then, the climax. Some say its best to pull out, some will spit, some will swallow. You will know best.

So there you go, some basic sex tips with Barton. I encourage you to go out and try.

All of the above also applies if you are with another person too.

  • Guest

    ಠ_ಠ

  • P1LL

    Cameron this looks like it is turning into a who has the biggest ego contest , be the man and stop this crap

    • http://www.whaleoil.co.nz Whaleoil

      No

  • cows4me

    I take it you guys are mates.

  • Hagues

    Best punch line ever!

  • Mr Sackunkrak

    “A finger in the anus is often provocative but surprisingly enjoyable for some.”

    Why does that sound just sooooo Maaartyn?!

%d bloggers like this: