Had sex with a Wet Goddess, then wrote a book about it

Meet¬†Malcolm J. Brenner, the controversial author of¬†Wet Goddess, the autobiographical novel of a young man’s love affair with a dolphin.

Malcolm J. Brenner, with his book, Wet Goddess - by Matt Saincome

Malcolm J. Brenner, with his book, Wet Goddess – by Matt Saincome

Yes, you read that right.  Brenner had sex with a dolphin and he is the kiss and tell type.

Reports SF Weekly:

The book, which he self-published, has gotten him fired from jobs and ended relationships, and with employers Google-searching most applicants, has made work hard to come by.

Brenner describes sex acts with various animals (including his dog) with the same level of calm most people use to tell you what they had for breakfast. And when he speaks of Dolly, the dolphin he had sex with while submerged underwater in 1971, you can see in his eyes that he can still see her, as if she is right there in front of him. It’s the same look he had on his face when he told me after the interview that he was molested as a child.

Do not read the rest of the article.  Rush to the comment section now.  And start telling us how Marriage Equality is going to lead to exactly this sort of thing.

(You have to admire anyone who can take an article on Dolphin Sex and turn it into a debate on Marriage Equality. ¬†But sadly, it’s some of our commenters that make leaps bigger than Superman jumping on the tallest building).

Continue at your own peril

Mr. Brenner, we’re going to be covering a lot of subjects in great deal of detail over the course of this interview, but I’d like to begin completely out of context by asking you one question, more than any other, almost every American and people all over the world want me to ask. Did you put it in the blowhole or the va-jay-jay?

It was vaginal sex. Vaginal sex. Blowholes are for breathing. Sometimes male dolphins do each other in the blowhole, but you wouldn’t find me trying to do that.

Would it be oral if you put it in the blowhole?

It wouldn’t be oral because it’s not their mouth — their mouths are full of teeth. It would be nasal sex.

Zach, the main character in your book, developed a telepathic communication channel with the dolphin, Ruby …

He believed he did.

Yeah, he believed he did. It’s an autobiographic novel, so does that mean you had a telepathic connection to the dolphin?

Everything about the dolphins in the book I wrote is based very closely on what happened with me. The only changes I made were about the human beings, and really minor ones at that. The book was as close to the real story as I could tell it. So yeah, I thought I was in telepathic contact with the dolphin.

It bedeviled me, because I knew it seemed improbable and it shouldn’t be happening, you know? I was getting high a lot, so maybe I was just stoned? But then it would happen when I wasn’t getting high, so it was very confusing.

But I’ve since learned I’m not the only person to have those kinds of experiences. I’ve talked with dolphin trainers and people who work with dolphins in the military, and if you really get deeply involved with dolphins, and you’re open to these kind of experiences, and you’re not being told that they don’t happen or you can’t talk about them because you work for Sea World, then a surprising number of people seem to have them.

[awkward pause]

Next question?

Malcolm J. Brenner with Dolly, the dolphin he had sex with - Malcolm J. Brenner

Malcolm J. Brenner with Dolly, the dolphin he had sex with – Malcolm J. Brenner

As not to push the boundaries of fair use, you can read the remainder of the interview here.

It does seem some dolphins don’t see the inter-species boundary as relevant

 

 

 

  • anonymouse

    I thought I was in telepathic contact with the dolphin. It bedeviled me, because I knew it seemed improbable and it shouldn’t be happening, you know? I was getting high a lot, so maybe I was just stoned?

    You don’t say….

  • nasska

    Poor bugger……probably gets a hard on opening a tin of sardines!

    • In Vino Veritas

      hah ha hah!!

  • Mitch82

    Not.. awkward.. at all..

  • pauleastbay

    I bet it was just a one off, used the dolphin and never rang her again, the cad.
    Good photo of him though, a gentle reminder of what the Cabinet table would look like if the greens ever got near power, simply pure and utter gold

  • Morrissey

    This may be indelicate, but… was the dolphin alive?

    • Ronnie Chow

      Don’t slip , Morrissey , don’t slip . It’s that first drink , doncha know

      • Morrissey

        For you, Ronnie, I recommend you try the blow job…

  • cows4me

    Had sex with his dog, probably explains it, barking fucking mad.

  • SJ00

    That last video.. that lady stayed in the pool a wee bit too long. Me thinks she was enjoying herself a bit too much. Was the guy helping her or helping the dolphin?
    *next time you hop in the pool with a dolphin love, take a shower and lets not pretend to be a fish*.

  • Apolonia

    Is this today’s pro gay marriage post?

    • http://www.whaleoil.co.nz Whaleoil

      Yes because it is a slippery slope…if we allow gay marriage then people will want to marry dolphins…they are already rooting them, so perhaps we should let them marry.

  • Pissedoffyouth

    What the fuck am I reading?

  • Dave

    that would be a brown nose dolphin………

  • Morrissey
    • Morrissey

      Who the hell would give HER a down-vote? “Standardista” alert!

  • pukakidon

    We locked the goat buggering bastard (beast of Blenheim) up. This buffoon of bestiality gets to write a book about it. Sick bastard.

  • Morrissey

    “It was vaginal sex. … Sometimes male dolphins do each other in the blowhole, but you wouldn’t find me trying to do that.”

    At least he is not a pervert.

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