The Onion is brilliant yet again. Kim Jong-un has declared his support for gay marriage, telling everyone that he is not a monster:
As the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments Tuesday on the constitutionality of banning same-sex marriage, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un told reporters that, considering heās not a completely awful human being, he unequivocally believes that gay people should be able to marry.Ā
āOf course I believe gay and lesbian couples should be treated equally under the law, for Godās sake; Iām not a monster,ā the despotic leader said, adding that the idea of trying to stop a loving couple from legally marrying one another is not only wrong from a moral and ethical standpoint but also violates the Fourteenth Amendment.
āI have no idea whatās going on with the justices over there, to be honest. The whole thing is a fucking embarrassment.ā Kim added that, should the Supreme Court not declare same-sex marriage constitutional in all 50 states, he would strongly consider launching a nuclear weapon at the United States.
Does this make Bob McCoskrie and Colin Craig monsters?