Labour Politician Fathers Alien Baby

Not kidding, that is the claim anyway in The Sun from a Labour politician….that he has fathered an alien baby…is it called Russel?

He wants us to believe he isn’t mad…but what are you to believe?

I mean he is a Labour politician and a socialist…so clearly mad…the alien stuff could well be true but the madness was proven before all that malarky came out.

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A LABOUR politician has revealed his marriage is on the ropes – because he’s cheating on his wife with an ALIEN.

Simon Parkes, who sits on Whitby Town Council, claims he meets his extra-terrestrial lover four times a year for sex sessions on a spaceship that’s orbiting the Earth.

The 53-year-old driving instructor even alleges he has fathered a love-child called Zarka with his mistresses – who he calls the Cat Queen.

Simon, a married father-of-three (human kids) from North Yorkshire, described his encounters with his other-worldly other woman in Channel 4 documentary Confessions Of An Alien Abductee.

He revealed: “What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the Earth.”

The councillor claims his wife was furious when she found out about the affair – but he insists he’s doing wrong, because his lover is from another planet.

He explained: “My wife found out about it and was very unhappy, clearly. That caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don’t see it as wrong.”

Simon told the documentary team extra-terrestrials have been reaching out to him since he was a baby, because his “real mother” is a 9ft tall green alien with eight fingers.

And he believes visitors from another planet act as guardians, protecting him from coming to any harm.

He added: “(They said) you will never be hurt.

“I think I am fairly clear in my head that I am being monitored (by aliens) very closely and if there is anything that’s seriously about to happen or does happen then I am fairly confident in my own mind that they will intervene, they have in the past.”

And Simon has a message to those who think he’s either making the encounters up or just “mad”.

He said: “I can understand how you would say that because you have not seen anything yourself and that’s your immediate fallback position, but you come and spend some time with me and follow me around for a day and you will actually walk away shaking your head because you will think actually he’s not mad.”

  • Euan Ross-Taylor

    I wonder if his parents are alive and what they think? As for his kids, they would be a quarter alien. Do you think that would come with benefits ? Maybe inherit a galaxy, or at least an obsolete spaceship.

    • AnonWgtn

      As a quarter alien, can they, like Maori give claim to everything ?

  • Simo

    Labour Party lefties so richly deserve this – it fits their mumble&%^k jubbly bubbly bullshit to a tee.

  • cows4me

    Oh great so bloody aliens are idiot socialists to. Doesn’t say much for mankind’s quest to find intelligent life out there.

    • Hazards001

      Might as well look for it out there…sure as cow farts aren’t going to find any intelligent life in the Labour Party!

  • Lion_ess

    So why aren’t Zarka and Cat Queen in the photo? Lunatic – case closed!

    • Whanga_Cynic

      Look behind his left shoulder. What’s that appearing? Certainly could be alien.

  • Magoo

    They should arrest him for bestiality, or at least some form of buggery.

  • blokeintakapuna

    Think of the fund-raising abilities he would have though down at the 2nd hand book stall sales… “Buy a book from the bearded lady, meet an Alien abductee for free”

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    At least he is able to “do” something…..

  • andrew carrot

    The bemused voters of Christchurch and Wellington are aching for world-class candidates like this character. Give him residency but only if he’ll stand for council.

  • Col

    His girlfriend must be ugly, as he is not a bad looking guy, so Noddy Norman has his mothers looks then, and that explains his high pitched voice and the reason no one can understand him apart from Greens.
    I notice Global Warming is coming back in the news, Central Europe, Prague has a heat wave record up to 38deg. lol

  • Ronnie Chow

    Graham Hancock has the answer in this banned Ted Talk…..

    • Hazards001

      OK..I got through nearly 3 mins of that. Let me guess. Is he saying that some kind of prehistoric man got stoned and evolved? Because if he is I guess that would account for the devolution we see today in human intelligence when stoned, you only have to look to the Green Party as evidence.

      Of course if that’s not what he was saying I should have stayed for the whole 18mins but hey…there’s only so long one can play.

      • Ronnie Chow

        There is a two part hallucinogenic drug in South America that produces the exact same experience as that reported by the abducted by aliens crowd , leading Hancock to conclude that the stories are all fake .

        • Hazards001

          Rats…shoulda watched it all. And Ted banned it?

  • sandynobb

    Peter Dunne issues a statement: “I want you to listen to me. I’m going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that alien, Miss Cat Queen.”

  • BR

    Weekly World News stuff.

    Bill.

  • Steve (North Shore)

    Aliens dont have a sex hole, they just think sex – brain sex – good feeling mind sex

  • Custard

    He would do so well in our Labour Party……

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