Braunias does Kim Dotcom

Billy Big Steps should get used to wearing orange

Billy Bigsteps should get used to wearing orange

Steve Braunias does the secret diary of Billy Bigsteps.

Monday

So there I was, minding my own business, putting together a peace plan for the Middle East, when a fly landed on my desk.

I didn’t give it any thought at first. Flies have landed on the desks of great men since time began. And so I returned to the task at hand, which was to develop a cure for cancer.

But just as I was about to invent a robot that could drink water, the fly crawled across the keyboard of my laptop.

I waved a hand at it. It flew off. I congratulated myself on my mastery of the situation, and reached for the phone to call my press agent, when the fly landed on my screen.

I waved a hand at it. It flew off. It landed on my teacup.

I waved a hand at it. It flew off. It landed on my head. 

I waved a hand at it. I slapped myself in the face and dropped my phone in the teacup. Enraged, I swung wildly at the fly, but knocked over the cup, and it spilled tea on to the

keyboard. The fly landed on the window. I smashed it with the laptop. The glass broke, and so did the laptop.

The fly landed on the ceiling.

I looked at it.

It looked at me.

I knew in that instant what I was dealing with.

A spy fly.

“OK,” I said out loud, “spy on this!”

I took off my clothes, and pointed my bum at the ceiling.

I heard the fly make an alarmed buzzing sound, and it flew out the window at an amazing speed.

  • Mr_Blobby

    That could be Braunias does Whale Boy.

  • Hazards001

    Is there a stray hamburger just behind the camera?

  • motorizer

    oh that was a good read. very funny. how did it make it onto stuff i wonder.

  • IWantToBeLikeMallardOneDay

    I wish I could receive a salary for writing crap like that.

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