I’ve found the ultimate app for Trevor Mallard or David Farrar.
Howâ€™s your sex life going? A new app tracks usersâ€™ data to help boost performance between the sheets. Filippa Iannou talks to the technologyâ€™s founders about their nifty tool.
The Quantified Self movementâ€”the trend empowering individuals to track trends in their vitals and other personal dataâ€”has long had its place in the bedroom. Self-quantifiers have used devices from the now-defunct Zeo Band to the UP band to the SleepTracker monitor to apps like Sleep Cycle to gain insight into their sleeping patterns and wake feeling more rested. Â
But the new app Spreadsheets heats things up by giving users a tool to apply Quantified Self principles between the sheets. Created by Danny Wax and Tyler Elick, the co-founders of Ardenturous Labs, Spreadsheets uses an accelerometer and analysis of coital sounds to track the data of your sex life. Having first set its calibrations based on the type of mattress you own (inner spring? memory foam?), it measures the duration, number of thrusts (if applicable), and loudness of sex. But Wax and Elick, who met through a mutual friend at the University of Denver and started developing the app in March of this year, are quick to clarify that theyâ€™re not trying to tell people how or how often to have sex.
â€śWeâ€™re not saying louder is better, or more sex is better, bigger is better,â€ť says Elick. â€śI think thatâ€™s kind of a mind-set that I grew up with in our cultureâ€”but thatâ€™s not what weâ€™re saying. What weâ€™re saying isâ€”hey, we want to provide a thermometer. Weâ€™re not here to tell people what their sex lives should look like.â€ť
On launching the app, users are asked if their ideal love life is â€śSophisticated,â€ť â€śCosmopolitan,â€ť â€śFlirty,â€ť or â€śRandy,â€ť and the selection determines how â€śspicyâ€ť the app is in its feedback.â€śWe decided to make it witty and fun and humorous to make it accessible, but this isnâ€™t a spoof app. We really think there is a bigger story here,â€ť Elick said.
I wonder if it has an automatic rating system? You know like a scale from Dud to Meh to Ok to now we’re talking to Oh Baby!