December was Cow-mageddon

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Earlier we blogged about the Sheep-Cow conspiracy.

A bit of research suggests that the cow-liban world wide are ramping up terror attacks.

In India a cow attacked a person at Goa who was enjoying the beach.

Reflecting the deplorable conditions of Goan beaches, a 65-year-old Russian tourist had to undergo five stitches after a cow banged into her while she was walking along Palolem beach on Tuesday.

Drishti lifeguards said Galina Ignitiva was walking on the beach when a cow hit her. Lifeguard Manjunath Pagi saw the victim collapse on the shore and rushed to her aid. As the victim sustained deep cuts on her right thigh, Pagi sent a message to the lifeguard tower and also called for an ambulance. A lifeguard patrolling jeep provided the first aid kit. As the ambulance was delayed, the victime was taken to the Cancona primary health centre for further treatment where she was kept under observation.  

In Queensland a man was trampled by a cow.

RACQ CareFlight Rescue has flown to the aid of a male who has suffered serious injuries after being trampled by a cow.

The 69-year-old was working on a property at Captain Creek, east of Miriam Vale, on Monday when the cow pushed him against a fence, the man fell and the cow trod on him.

The incident caused suspected chest and abdominal injuries.

The Bundaberg-based RACQ CareFlight Rescue helicopter landed at the property where the flight doctor and intensive care flight paramedic stabilised the injured man.

In Arizona a cow has taken an innocent’s life, thankfully authorities summarily executed the cow-liban terrorist.

A cow escaped from a slaughterhouse in this city Wednesday, killing a bystander, damaging vehicles and leading police on chase before being destroyed.

Employees of the city owned-slaughterhouse on the southeastern corner of San Luis Rio Colorado said the drama began around noon when the cow jumped over the railing of pen used to restrain it.

Damaging a gate as it fled the slaughterhouse, it ran through several streets of the nearby Colonia Industrial neighborhood, according to accounts from various news media in San Luis Rio Colorado.

The person killed by the animal was identified as Alejandro Garcia Martinez, 31, who had been working on a car in front of a residence when he was charged and trampled, suffering severe head injuries.

At least two cars were damaged when the errant cow collided with them, according to newspaper accounts.

Unable to corner the cow following a chase, city police officers shot it, killing it.

Two men have been killed by Cow-liban terrorists in Liberia.

Report from Toweh town, lowest Nimba County says a bush cow has attacked and killed a 50-year-old man. Villagers narrated to the NewDawn Nimba Correspondent that the deceased, met his demise in town when the bush cow entered the area and attacked him.

Our correspondent said the victim, only identified as Tarkpor, tried to kill the creature, but did not succeed. The deceased was said to be one of the elders of the town. The incident has left the villagers panicking, expressing fear of insecurity.

Recently, another bush cow reportedly entered Liberia from neighboring Guinea and killed a 30-year-old man in Garr Busie Town.

That was from December…attacks are increasing world-wide…will we see Barack Obama commit to a “War on Cattle”?

  • Adam Michaels

    Bovine insurrection is one of the signs of the end of the world. Repent, you milk drinkers, all of you, for you shall be vanquished, udderly!

    • Steve (North Shore)

      Cows with Guns will take over?

      • Adam Michaels

        They’re coming, mate, closer each day!

  • cows4me

    Quite frankly I would rather walk down Queen street filled to the gunnels with bovine beauties then the wildlife you parade as civilised society. Shit there’s no pleasing you buggers if it wasn’t for cows you would be freezing your arses off now.

    • Kopua Cowboy

      I think my herd has more friendly cows than I have friends….

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