Yes, yes, just to get the obligatory âof coursesâ out of the way up front: of course âweatherâ is not the same as âclimateâ; and of course the thickest iciest ice on record could well be evidence of âglobal warmingâ, just as 40-and-sunny and a 35-below blizzard and 12 degrees and partly cloudy with occasional showers are all apparently manifestations of âclimate changeâ; and of course the global warm-mongers are entirely sincere in their belief that the massive carbon footprint of their rescue operation can be offset by the planting of wall-to-wall trees the length and breadth of Australia, Britain, America and continental Europe.
But still: youâd have to have a heart as cold and unmovable as Commonwealth Bay ice not to be howling with laughter at the exquisite symbolic perfection of the Australasian Antarctic Expedition âstuck in our own experimentâ, as they put it. I confess I was hoping it might all drag on a bit longer and the cultists of the ecopalypse would find themselves drawing straws as to which of their number would be first on the roasting spit. On Douglas Mawsonâs original voyage, he and his surviving comrade wound up having to eat their dogs. Iâm not sure there were any on this expedition, so theyâd probably have to make do with theÂ GuardianÂ reporters. Forced to wait a year to be rescued, Sir Douglas later recalled, âSeveral of my toes commenced to blacken and fester near the tips.â Now thereâs a man whoâs serious about reducing his footprint.
But alas, eating oneâs shipmates and watching oneâs extremities drop off one by one is not a part of todayâs high-end eco-doom tourism. Instead, the ice-locked warmists uploaded chipper selfies to YouTube, as well as a self-composed New Year singalong of such hearty un-self-awareness that it enraged even such party-line climate alarmists as Andrew Revkin, the plonkingly earnest enviro-blogger of theÂ New York Times. A mere six weeks ago, pumping out the usual boosterism, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reported that, had Captain Scott picked his team as carefully as Professor Chris Turney, he would have survived. Sadly, weâll never know â although Iâll bet Captain Oates would have been doing his âI am going out. I may be some timeâ line about eight bars into that New Year number. Â
Heh, he really doesn’t hold back does he?
The AAE is right: the warm-mongers are indeed âstuck in our own experimentâ. Frozen to their doomsday narrative like Jeff Daniels with his tongue stuck to the ski lift inÂ Dumb and Dumber, the Big Climate enforcers will still not brook anyone rocking their boat. In December 2008 Al Gore predicted the âentire North Polar ice cap will be gone in five yearsâ. That would be December last year. Oh, sure, itâs still here, but he got the general trend-line correct, didnât he? Arctic sea ice, December 2008: 12.5 million square kilometres; Arctic sea ice, December 2013: 12.5 million square kilometres.
Big Climate is slowly being crushed by a hard, icy reality: if youâre heading off to university this year, there has been no global warming since before you were in kindergarten. Thatâs to say, the story of the early 21st century is that the climate declined to follow the climate âmodelsâ. (Full disclosure: Iâm currently being sued by Dr Michael Mann, creator of the most famously alarming graph, the âhockey stickâ.) You would think that might occasion a little circumspection. But instead the cultists up the ante: having evolved from âglobal warmingâ to the more flexible âclimate changeâ, theyâre now moving on to âclimate collapseâ. Total collapse. No climate at all. No sun, no ice. No warm fronts, except for the heaving bosoms in Rajendra Pachauriâs bodice-rippers. Nothing except the graphs and charts of âsettled scienceâ. In the Antarctic wastes of your mind, itâs easier just to ice yourself in.