I spent part of my birthday yesterday listening to New Zealand Imam Sheikh Anwar Al-Madani explain how to please your husband. The 2014 video says he is the New Zealand Ulama council secretary and has a PhD Qur’anic Science(Madinah University, Saudi Arabia) and a BA in Islamic Studies
I watched half of the video and found out enough interesting stuff for this post from that half alone. The lecture series actually comes in three parts. Imam Sheikh Anwar Al-Madani explained how the subject was chosen. He said that he came up with it after ” a bit of discussion with the brothers.” He starts his presentation with a question, “what are the rights and regulations of your husband on you? In other words, how can you please your husband?”
The biggest mistake we make he said is thinking that me and my rights, the rights Allah has given to me are the most important. He said that applied to both husband and wife. He said that if they are both focused on seeking their rights then that would be the start of marital discord. He used the analogy of a hair or a thread being pulled too tight so that it snapped. He said that marriage is not two countries where the rules have to be applied. At this point, he was sounding almost modern and talked about give and take, forgiving and being forgiven but I kept watching.
He explained that he would use some hadiths to explain the regulations and that’s when it got interesting. He spoke in Arabic and then he translated what he had said into English.What he said in the video in Arabic was translated onto the screen.He mentioned four regulations as you can see below.
Three regulations he said were only guidelines for wives to be obedient citizens of Allah but the fourth one,that one was much more important.The fourth one was that the “wife is obedient to the commands of her husband.” He swore by Allah that this was the truth. He said that if wives obey their husbands they will get into paradise. It is a great deal because they will go directly to paradise and will not have to suffer for a while in the hell fires as some others would. He later added,” no woman will make it into [heaven] until she gives the rights of her husband.” He said this despite earlier claiming that focussing on your rights in a marriage will cause marital discord. He also made it clear that the “rights” he was talking about included sexual rights. Apparently if a husband wants ” intimacy ” you should jump off your camel or stop whatever you are doing to make whoopie with him other wise the angels will curse you and you will not get into heaven.
He then gave an example of a wife in New Zealand saying ” we are equal, the amount of money you get from work and income is the same amount that I get.” He then stated that the majority of problems in American marriages started with “income support,” and he used a black man in America who was not a Muslim as an example.
The equality of money from government agencies like income support in his view lead to women starting to ” grow wings. ” The problem occurs because when they receive the same money as the husband from the government they start thinking that they are “totally independent.” Thinking like this leads to disaster in a marriage he said.
I stopped watching the video at this point as it was clear where he was going. He doesn’t want women demanding equal rights from their husband’s as this will cause marital discord. He wants women to please their husbands by obeying them which will guarantee them entry to heaven without spending any time in the hell fires. As you can see from the quote below a husband’s rights over his wife are enormous. They should not think that the equality of income that they get in Western countries while they are both living off the government means that they should expect equality with their husband.
I thought long and hard about this and have decided that there is a simple solution for those who want to live the kind of life that we Westerners lived 200 years ago where a husband is the head of the house and the wife does as she is told. In those good old days, we women did not have the vote and we often didn’t get to choose our husband. One thing we could count on however was that the husband would provide for the family as that was his job. I humbly suggest that all the Muslim husbands who follow this Imam get off social welfare and start providing for their families if they want to demand the rights of the head of the house.
Sadly all over Europe, the majority of Muslim immigrants are not gainfully employed and many have no desire to work for a living because they view social welfare as a tax on we Kafirs. This living off the Kafirs must lead to a lot of “marital discord” because all those poor wives must be wondering why they have to do all the housework and pop out all those kids and do all the obeying while their good for nothing husbands sit on their big fat XXXXs and do nothing. Social welfare is clearly the problem so they need to get off it. They can’t have their wives “growing wings” and thinking that they are ” totally independent ” now can they?