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Road Maggots take note, this new bike lock makes thieves vomit

Skunk Lock: This bike lock really stinks

Skunk Lock: This bike lock really stinks

The other day Twitter erupted with a first world crisis for Russell Brown, his bike was stolen despite using a bike lock. He posted photos of his bike all over Twitter and all his pals tut-tutted, there-there’d and generally did nothing.

We are far more generous here at Whale Oil and so I’ve found a solution for the next time dear old Russell parks his expensive bike complete with pannier bags at the university.

It’s a bike lock designed to make thieves vomit.

A man approaches a bicycle, handheld electric saw at the ready. He powers it on, starts to drill, and is shot in the face with a noxious spray that makes him vomit uncontrollably. This is the dream of the inventors of SkunkLock.

“Basically we were fed up with thefts,” said Daniel Idzkowski from San Francisco, one of the inventors of SkunkLock. “The real last straw was we had a friend park his very expensive electric bike outside a Whole Foods, and then went to have lunch and chat. We went out and his bike was gone.”

Idzkowski’s friend had used two locks, each $120, whose inability to stop a thief outraged him. “I blurted out, ‘why didn’t it blow his balls off?’

Read more »

Told you: Calls for plain packaging on beer now

Plain Packaging for beer: Is this our future?

Plain Packaging for beer: Is this our future?

I warned everybody, and have been doing so for years, that if we allow plain packaging for products like tobacco then it wouldn’t be long before calls for plain packing came for other products, most notably alcohol and sugar.

Well, no one listened to me. Commenters on this blog also, rather po-facedly, stated that they didn’t mind on tobacco. Now there are calls for plain packaging of alcohol.

Alcohol watchdogs are concerned beer branding featuring cute cartoons or resembling softdrinks, may be too appealing to minors.

The rise of the craft beer market has resulted in a new wave of creative, colourful, and often cartoonish labels as alcohol producers compete for consumers’ attention.

Auckland craft brewery Behemoth Brewing Company, has “brave bikkie brown ale” featuring a cartoon monster eating a cookie on its bottles.

A mouse riding a dog appears on Scallywag rich amber ale from Auckland craft brewery Schipper’s Beer, while a badger wearing a jetpack stars on its Boffin bitter.

Even the Mac’s beer range, owned by major brewer Lion, features labels with drawings of wolves, a shark fin and an Indian Pale Ale called “birthday suit” with a grizzly beer holding a hop bud. And two months ago, the darling of the New Zealand craft beer scene, Garage Project, released a “Lola cheery cola beer” in a can with a striking resemblance to Coca-Cola.

But while this type of branding can be fun and exciting for adults, it can spell confusion for youngsters, said Rebecca Williams, director of the Alcohol Healthwatch group.

She said cartoons on alcohol labelling sent a message to minors that alcohol consumption should not be taken seriously, blurring the reality that it contained a toxin.

“Look at the colours of them – they’re cute, they’re quirky,” said Williams.

When children liked a brand or could relate to it, it translated into early alcohol consumption, she said.

“I think it’s about time somebody was challenged.”

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Never trust a man who pays cock tax twice to the same woman

Elon Musk pays a lot of cock tax

Elon Musk pays a lot of cock tax

Elon Musk must be really dopey, I mean really dopey. Sure he’s worth billions but he has paid cock tax twice to the same woman. On top of that, he has five kids to a previous wife.

That is a great deal of cock tax.

So, one must be wary of someone who has paid cock tax to the same woman twice and to another woman.

Another warning sign is if his business is built upon subsidies, hope, prayers and good luck.

ELON MUSK, a serial Silicon Valley entrepreneur, has become one of the most famous tycoons in America. He builds electric cars, launches rockets and installs solar panels. And he dreams bigger than almost anyone else, with plans to populate Mars and create a “hyperloop” that would allow high-speed travel along America’s west coast. But lately concerns have been raised about his finances. A plan to merge Tesla, Mr Musk’s car firm, with SolarCity, his struggling energy company, is controversial on Wall Street. Jim Chanos, a hedge-fund manager who helped rumble Enron, says Mr Musk is in financial trouble. Far from conquering planets, some fear that Mr Musk has become like Icarus, who flew too close to the sun. Can his empire stand the heat?    Read more »

Auckland Council pay $200,000 for what everyone else can essentially get for free

The Auckland Ratepayers’ Alliance is an organisation with a paid up membership that’s significantly larger than the Labour Party.  And people are getting their money’s worth.  Look what they’ve unearthed this time:

The Auckland Ratepayers’ Alliance is questioning the nearly $200,000 being spent by Auckland Council on Facebook and LinkedIn advertising, saying that is being wasted on mere propaganda exercises.

Figures obtained by the Auckland Ratepayers’ Alliance reveal that $187,870 has been spent on social media advertising by Auckland Council in the 2015/16 financial year, with $164,287.32 being put towards Facebook advertising, and $23,582.96 spent on LinkedIn. This is part of Auckland Council’s total marketing and communications spend of approximately $26.2 million. Read more »

Mental Health Break

Muslims in Norway call for Minister’s resignation


What enraged Muslims so much that they demanded the resignation of this Norwegian Minister?

A) She drew Muhammad

B) She said that the hijab should be banned in Norway

C) She said that Muslims are from an inferior and backward culture

D) She said that those who come to Norway need to adapt to its society and abide by its values and laws.

Read more »