What is it with people, usually women I might add, who go snooping through their partner’s email and phones and then express shock and outrage at what they find?
I’ve been with my husband for six years, married for three years.
Recently I found photos on his phone of women tattood half naked, bent over¬†in g-strings. Then to top it off, the day after I found photos on his phone¬†I was on the computer looking in the history and found he had been looking up
porn and websites for one night stands.
I’ve confronted him, he swears it didn’t¬†mean anything, but as for the computer stuff he has nothing to say.
Any advice … what do I do?
This is the question asked in Stuff’s Life & Style section. The response is equally stupid talking about porn addiction and trust and all sorts of mumbo-jumbo.
You must be experiencing a range of mixed feelings right about now!
I’m reading between the lines here, but¬†I wonder if you are struggling with feelings of unfaithfulness?
Pornography can be very addictive,¬†but more problematic is the issue of trust and seeking one night stands.
You have to decide where¬†your boundaries are and what you expect from your partner. What is he willing to do to address the¬†issue? When these kinds of behaviours enter into your relationship and are not addressed it opens the¬†door to all kinds or problems rising up.
Some couples enjoy pornography and see it as a healthy part¬†of their relationship, but this has to be mutual. If it’s not and it sounds like it is not from your email, then you need to¬†talk this through and develop some agreements that will begin to repair that damage and restore¬†trust, and be prepared that this may take some time and it won’t happen overnight.
All the best with your road ahead,
A better response would have been to tell off the snoopy cow for going looking…I mean what was she expecting to find…she went snooping. If anyone has trust issues it is now the snoopy cow’s partner who knows the missus likes trawling through his emails when he isn’t looking.
She has made enormous assumptions, jumped to conclusions and probably read things out of context…and on top of that went skulking around behind his back and she is now crying a river of tears at what she has found.
Why was she looking in the first place? There is a hint right there.
Stupid people do stupid things and there is nothing good that comes from looking at someone’s emails and phone messages…without their permission.
I bet I could take Lesley’s emails and texts even and turn them into something they aren’t.
Snoopy cows deserve everything they find.