This story is from a satire site, it isn’t real, but wouldn’t it be awesome if it was real.
Five thugs are in hospital after breaking into Rob O’Neill’s house seeking his neighbour.
Who is Rob O’Neill…an ex-SEAL Team Six member who took down Osama bin Laden giving him a third eye.
The really did pick the wrong house.
Robert Oâ€™Neill, the former United States Navy SEAL who shot and killed Osama Bin Laden, had his home mistakenly invaded by members of a street gang this morning shortly after 1AM.Â Oâ€™Neill was uninjured, the five intruders all suffered injuries and remain hospitalized, but are expected to make a full recovery. Their names were not released in anticipation of the oncoming media storm.
Butte Police Commissioner Bartholomew S. Harrington told members of the Associated Press in a brief press conference that the five men, part of a local street gang connected with the infamous Crips, were seeking to collect on a drug debt and invaded the wrong house, with the intended target just so happening to be the next door neighbor of Oâ€™Neillâ€™s.
â€śMr. Oâ€™Neill had just turned in for the night, but wasÂ awoken by a loud crash when his backdoor was abruptly kicked in. As the five thugs ran aimlessly through the home, Mr. Oâ€™Neill used silent hand-to-hand combat tactics to individually disarm them of their weapons. Â Once Mr. Oâ€™Neill had taken down the five men and secured his home, he brewed a pot of coffee and called the police station. Those boys sure did find the wrong house!â€ť commissioner Harrington said as he chuckled.
Oâ€™Neill had little to say on the matter whenButte Daily Times journalist Kevin Williamson interviewed the celebrated war hero.
â€śIt was nothing really. Those kids didnâ€™t have their mission planned out properly and hit the wrong target. I hated to break their wrists and dislocate each of their knees like I did, but it was necessary in order to immobilize the invasion. I hope they get the money that is owed to them once they get out of jail and decide to live better lives. My main concern is getting my back door fixed. Those boys really did a number on the door jamb,â€ť Oâ€™Neill stated.
Teehee, broken wrists and dislocated knees.
I wonder what would have happened here though…chances are some lefty crim-hugger would have started an Twatter campaign to have O’Neill arrested for GBH.
– Empire News