I have watched with incredulity the building outrage against two radio show hosts who played a prank and who have subsequently have been blamed for a nurse taking her own life.
I have had screaming arguments with friends and family over this very issue in the past two days as they gleeful seek “revenge” against the radio hosts. Some have even suggested the best thing they could do is end their own lives…missing the irony of the situation in their outrage.
Now some will suggest I am a heartless bastard for even suggesting that nothing should be done. But consider this, as I have done, from another perspective.
We are far to quick to lay blame and seek explanation from people for wrong that happen in life. If we can blame then we can wash our hands of guilt, or somehow make ourselves feel better that despite a desperate situation for one person that there is someone to blame.
This is erroneous thinking…and one unfortunately conditioned into us with the advent of the all knowing and caring state…where things happen but it is ok because someone else is to blame and the state will fix it. It is rubbish thinking.
From my perspective I have much happen in my life that I could have taken my own life…and people would have been able to point the finger at someone else.
I could have killed myself when my business failed…and people could have blamed my thieving business partner.
I could have killed myself when in the darkness of depression…and people could have blamed the medication, the treatment, or indeed depression itself.
I could have killed myself when Fidelity Life unilaterally ended my claim against all medical advice causing me to lose our house, essentially impoverishing me, unable to fight them¬†through¬†lack of funds…and then someone could have blamed the insurance company.
I could have killed myself when I was coming off the medication I was forced to take so that an insurance company to have the proper forms filled out…because the only way to deal with depression is to take drugs apparently…and then blamed the same insurance¬†company¬†and the drug¬†companies¬†for the evil side effects.
I could have killed my self when the Herald on Sunday ran a nasty story about me….and then Kathryn Powley would have been blamed for ending my life.
I could have killed myself in the dark days of despair and loneliness that I felt in the days after my mother died.
And I could have killed myself in dealing with a¬†psychopathic, vexatious litigant intent on causing me as much financial harm as possible…who even sent letters¬†demanding my appearance in court¬†the day my mother died saying it was tough she was ill but too bad he would show any consideration…and then he could have been blamed as well.
These are just a few of the incidences in recent years where contemplating ending it has entered my thoughts. Quite literally there are hundreds of nasty emails, voicemail messages and texts that have come my way in the years I have been blogging that are far worse than a prank call from a radio station that I too could have used as an excuse to end my life…some of those messages actually tell me it would be best if I killed myself.
Even today I am worth more dead than alive. I still struggle with depression and dark thoughts are never far away. I have not killed myself because…well I don’t really know why I haven’t…other than own personal beliefs around the issue, and that no matter how dark and awful things get I always seem to be able to see some hope. I certainly gave up blaming anyone else a long time ago.
But…as this story unfolds in the UK and Australia I find myself wondering why no one is looking at the actual person responsible.
The only person responsible for the ending through self harm of ones life is the person who actually kills themselves. Suicide is one of the most selfish, self centred, egotistical acts of violence that we see. It isn’t a cry for help it is a final…well look at what I did then.
Until we confront suicide and deal with it in a realistic manner then we will all continue to lay the blame at the wrong feet.
If we are to say that the radio host are responsible then what we are saying is that no media, not print, not radio, not television should ever interview, speak with or indeed prank with anyone until they have seen a full mental health certificate of the intended interviewee or prank victim.
It is flawed thinking to blame anyone else other than the person who killed themselves. No one can ever know the¬†mental¬†health status of any person they are talking to…to now attribute blame is flawed logic and will not assist in any way, shape or form in understanding and dealing with suicide.
We need to grow up and stop reacting so emotively.
In commenting on this post please try and look logically and pragmatically at the issue rather than rush to silly emotive rantings.