Blithering Idiots of our Time

Some silly tart is “devastated” that she lost an Employment Court case against Farmers:

A former Farmers’ employee is devastated after being fired for abusing staff discount privileges, and still denies she was in the wrong.

West Auckland resident Fae Osborne was sacked from her department manager role at LynnMall’s Farmers store after the company investigated claims she used her staff discount to buy items for a family member.

In a just released decision, the Employment Relations Authority ruled the department store was right in dismissing the employee, and denied Ms Osborne’s reinstatement and compensation claim of $30,000.

On February 11, 2010, Ms Osborne used her staff discount to buy four bottles of Brut body spray, a nightgown and a dressing gown, totalling $98.10.

Another department manager processed the sale and originally denied the purchase because Ms Osborne tried to use her father’s Eftpos card to pay for the goods.

Farmers’ employees can be sacked for buying goods on behalf of a friend or family, states company policy. Purchases for personal use or gifts for others are allowed.

Ms Osborne also “stashed” the heavily discounted clearance stock of Brut under a stand, in breach of company policy, said the report.

The company launched a formal investigation into the incident.

It considered the situation “sweethearting”, where employees use their staff discount card to buy goods for friends who have picked out the items.

Just over a month later, Ms Osborne was dismissed for breaching staff discount and holds’ policies, said the report.

She had been issued with a final written warning less than five months before the breach, causing her to move from the St Lukes store to the LynnMall store.

So she is “devastated” that she lost when she clearly breached company rules that the penalty for such a breach is dismissal? Not only that she is “devastated” about this event despite being warned and moved stores for the same offence previously.

I am “devastated” that the media takes the time to publish the words of a congenitally stupid person.

The new year is ushered in by the death of a stupid person. The media calls them a pedestrian but as well know there is no such thing as a pedestrian on a motorway:

A pedestrian has been run over and killed on an Auckland motorway this morning.

Counties Manukau police have closed the Mangere-airport motorway to all south-bound traffic, northern communications Inspector Lou Alofa said.

All traffic heading south was being directed off the Walmsley Rd off-ramp. North-bound traffic was not affected.

“Motorists travelling south are advised to take the Mahunga Dr turn off if possible to relieve the backlog on Walmsley Rd, particularly those heading for the airport,” Alofa said.

The serious crash unit was investigating the collision.

Some people really are thick:

A 34-year-old man will face a raft of charges after allegedly fleeing the scene of a burglary in Auckland today, evading pursuing police, then crashing into a stationary police car.

The drama began when witnesses reported seeing a blue Holden leaving the scene of a burglary in Remuera about 9am.

Police spotted the same car a short time later at Wash World on St Lukes Rd, but when police approached “it drove away at speed” and officers lost sight of it.

The same vehicle was seen by police on Symonds St where it was seen to drive onto Anzac Ave, before disappearing from view.

Police then pursued the fleeing driver on Beach Rd but the chase was abandoned at the bottom of Parnell Rise “due to the speed of the vehicle”.

After driving up Parnell Rise, towards Broadway, police said the vehicle crossed onto the wrong side of the road and crashed into a stationary police car.

The fraudster who ripped off the taxpayer for two years gallivanting about the globe has posted a selection of his dole-funded holiday snaps on Youtube.  This is apparently the first of five installments in the lead up to the election.

Among other things, Peter Freedom’s indulgent video features some shots from the places he’s been, some personal slagging of Paula Bennett and a strange comparison of the WINZ and Lonely Plant logos. So not only does he think he’s been hard done by, he now wants to rub New Zealanders noses in their generosity.

Here are a few of the highlights so you don’t have to wade through the whole 14 mins:

I knew it, there is always one fool politician who wants to stage a Commonwealth or Olympic Games. I only backed him because he wasn’t Jim Anderton.

Christchurch Mayor Bob Parker is suggesting that New Zealand should bid to host the 2022 Commonwealth Games with a rebuilt Christchurch City hosting the opening and closing events.

“We have seen how well Rugby World Cup 2011 worked having Auckland as the central venue for what was truly a stadium of four million people. I can envisage the same scenario for Christchurch’s role in hosting the 2022 Commonwealth Games,” says Mr Parker. “I am suggesting that Christchurch would host the opening and closing ceremonies along with both the track and field and swimming events, with other events spread throughout the country.

“To host the 2022 Commonwealth Games would be a wonderful goal for the city. The city needs an aspirational target and in 2022 we will have a stunning new city to introduce to the world. Let us, along with our Government, embrace this challenge. We have to rebuild our sports facilities anyway and will have the greater part of the budget to do this from insurance payouts.”

Good luck insuring a Commonwealth games fool.

via Boing Boing

An unwise individual has made a wager that involves inserting a cotton bud soaked in the world’s hottest pepper into his rectum. He has asked Reddit how to minimize the harm that might arise as a consequence of this undertaking. Redditors have reacted with a perfect mixture of horror and fascination, as you might expect.

Above, video of a man consuming one of these peppers.

Out of the sheer morbid curiosity of it all, I did a bunch of research for you. Here’s what I came up with; The anus is a very delicate piece of skin equipped with a fair amount of capsicum receptors. It is very easily irritated, and is rather unforgiving. There is a staggering amount of Capsicum in the Bhut Jolokia pepper http://www.livestrong.com/article/188934-the-dangers-of-bhut-jolokia/ in question, so I read the toxicity sheet http://npic.orst.edu/factsheets/Capsaicintech.pdf and found that in high enough doses it causes dermal lesions. We’re talking big angry open sores…

Which brings me to my point. Why on earth would you risk damaging the only bit of skin and muscle that keeps you from pooping yourself on a daily basis for life?

You’re better off tattooing a dick to your forehead, or streaking through a crowded mall, or something that doesn’t directly affect the well being of your sphincter because buddy, if this goes horribly wrong it could haunt you forever… And really, honestly, nobody here wants you to wind up the Bhut of this Jolokia.

Here is a video of a fool eating just a small part of the bhut jolokia:

Watch this DEA Agent, just after saying “I’m the only one in this room profesional enough, that I know of, to carry this Glock .40″.

There is no excuse for this sort if inane law breaking.

The rules of this council are perfectly clear:

“Signs shall only be permitted in the two-month period prior to the election.”

Which is why my wife doesn’t have any signs up in this neighbourhood. Yet.*

Maybe the National candidate does not know the rules.

Perhaps he should ask the mayor.

What implicit pressure is placed on the council when the scofflaw is the mayor, his worship, himself?

I hope John Pagani writes a letter rather than just writes on his little read and obscure blog. That said it is nowhere near as outrageous as Labours repeated law breaking and probably the Electoral Commission would view it as an inconsequential breach caused by an enthusiastic volunteer.