Bob Jones

Bob Jones normally votes Labour. Not this time



When I wrote recently that this election was done and dusted, a storm of protest erupted on the New Zealand Herald’s website from Labour’s deeply unattractive, rabid tribalists. Abuse aside, the common theme was that I’m a die-hard National supporter. That gave great amusement given that I last voted National in 1981.

Excepting twice Act and the New Zealand Party in 1984, I’ve voted Labour ever since. Policies, not parties are my guide. But while I’ve given financial support to Labour MP friends, I certainly don’t want to see a change of government.

Aside from other disturbing considerations, a Labour government is currently only possible by incorporating the most abysmal line-up of no-hopers ever to have presented themselves in our history.

The Nats’ rowing boat television advertisement is spot-on, consequently this time National will get my Party vote, although I’ll opt for the Labour seat incumbent.

Staunch Labour voter Bob Jones can’t stomach the idea of a Labour/Green/Mana/Internet/NZ First government either.  And who can blame him?  If he votes on policy, and he’s being truthful about that, then what on earth does anyone think they are voting for?   Nobody knows which policies will be left standing after coalition agreements are signed.

He then gets stuck into Colin Craig   Read more »

Bob Jones on the demise of NZ First

I’ll spare you the detailed description on Barry Soper and Audrey Young’s mandatory buttock grabbing (you can read that here, if you really want),  instead, picking up the story here:

I never thought anything could top Laila Harre’s 2002 defeat explanation with her “unfortunately the public voted with their heads”, but, by God, there’s been some serious challenges – notably from Laila herself.

Even the most hardened hacks were dumbstruck by her protest at allowing her boss into the country. But she was immediately trumped by Kim Dotcom himself, who agreed it was an outrage. If he feels that strongly then America – where he’s destined to end up anyway – will give him a big hello, plus free accommodation for a very long time, although decidedly smaller than his current abode.

Colin Craig continues to delight. Explaining away his nutty image, he instead cemented it by saying: “It was logical to platform off the rhetoric already being discussed.” Psychiatrists are banned from entering, but there’s a trip to Upper Volta for anyone making sense of that.

Having lost female voters after declaring New Zealand women promiscuous, Colin is now targeting homosexuals by an advertising campaign showing him lying in long grass with a come-hither look. Missing is a rose stem between his teeth.

To add to the madness, Labour’s normally sane Andrew Little, jealous of Trevor Mallard’s moa headlines, declared men charged with sex crimes will be automatically guilty unless they can prove their innocence.

Then to further alienate male voters, Labour’s serial apologiser leader chimed in, unbelievably apologising for being a man.

If you were writing a script, you’f be going:  “no, too much, it’s starting to get to the point nobody would believe this could actually happen”.  And yet… the current farce isn’t over yet!
Read more »

Bob Jones… on Bob Jones

Love him or hate him, he’s national treasure icon.

5. What kind of father are you?

Not a conventional one.

I’m not going to watch them play football and go to school plays and that.

I didn’t want my parents to do that, not that they ever did.

Dad did watch me box once.

Thankfully I won.

No, I won’t tell you how many I’ve got.

Millions of daughters. Read more »

Never interrupt a man who is fishing

Yesterday was 29 years since Bob Jones snotted an impertinent Rod Vaughan for disturbing his fishing.

In July 1985 New Zealand Party leader Bob Jones and president Malcolm McDonald surprised many by announcing the nation’s then-third most popular party was taking an 18 month recess. TVNZ went searching for comment, and after chartering a helicopter, found Jones fishing near Turangi. Jones was not amused; he infamously punched reporter Rod Vaughan, arguing later he would fight any charges in court, since the journalists had subjected him to intolerable harassment. When fined $1000, Jones asked the judge if he paid $2000, could he please do it again?

Eyewitness News - Bob Jones punches reporter Rod Vaughan

Every proper bloke would have cheered Bob Jones on for bashing Rod Vaughan…damn impertinent interrupting a man while he was fishing.    Read more »

Bob Jones on Mr Omnishambles

It’s like shooting fish in a barrel now.  But let’s enjoy.

I dislike third-term governments, as invariably they become arrogant, but we’re going to get one – and thank God, given the alternative. The absurd amalgam of Labour, the Greens, Harawira and possibly Harre and Winston is simply unfit to rule.

Failing a dramatic polling change, Labour will be decimated in this election – extraordinary given it should have been a shoo-in.

Labour’s problems directly reflect its management structure, to cite Labour MP Damien O’Connor, in allowing the party to be captured by a “gaggle of gays and unionists”. These factions control both candidate and leadership selection and have installed a discredited left-wing agenda, contrary to most of their senior MPs’ sentiments.

No Labour leader has ever been so unpopular as David Cunliffe, evidenced by the disastrous polls and also the Reader’s Digest trustworthy survey bracketing him humiliatingly in bottom place with Dotcom and Harawira. Cunliffe was installed against the strong wishes of those who knew him best, namely Labour’s caucus, and now the public know him as well, resulting in a wider disdain.

Cunliffe is a dead man walking; on political life support; a target to take all the flak.   Read more »

The Secret Diaries of Comrade Simon, Ctd

commies copy

Terrible weekend, had to spend it with a bunch of bloody tories in the town hall in Wellington.

The only intelligent discussions I had all weekend were with the cleaning staff and the dustman on the streets when I was out for my early morning run. Nats says that all those Bellamys pies are showing on the middle. Little does she know that those are union approved pies.

Some old duck came up to me and told me I reminded her of Winston in his younger days. Silly old cow didn’t recognise I am much, much taller than Winston. And better looking. And that old bastard Bob Jones has been having a go at me for not speaking properly.  Read more »

Dangle money before hardened lefties and they’ll sit up and purr every time

Bob Jones is on fire in today’s Herald column

Dotcom’s loveable maverick reputation collapsed, despite his vigorous legal efforts to prevent it, once details of the FBI’s claim became public. Hitherto he had presented his business as that of an innocent bystander, akin to a taxi driver delivering a passenger to a bank, then subsequently being charged with aiding and abetting a crime after it was found his fare had robbed the bank.

But the FBI claims he had the means to control his Megaupload site’s content, but far from doing so, actively incentivised the placement of movies on his site.

In rebuttal, Dotcom points to the terms service users were obliged to agree to, which included an undertaking not to post copyrighted material. He further argues that the sheer volume of material was such as to prevent practical policing.

The user copyright undertaking won’t wash in any court and he knows it. It was his primary income source, arising from many tens of thousands of downloading users exploiting his site’s stolen movies, but Dotcom, the site owner, implausibly claims this was all unknown to him.

Anyone wrongly charged with a serious crime should be ultra-eager to get into a court and argue their innocence. Instead, Dotcom has wasted millions trying to avoid doing so.

Nobody will give him a fair trial.  He doesn’t expect them in New Zealand and he doesn’t expect them in the USA.  In the mean time, the July 7 extradition hearing is moving nearer.   Read more »

Good points from Deborah Coddington

Deborah Coddington and I don’t often see eye to eye, but today we can agree.

She writes on Facebook:

Interesting how differently the media treat women MPs – from any party.

Remember when PM Helen Clark got grumpy with John Campbell and called him a little creep, journalists had apoplexy. Clark couldn’t have a bad hair day without reporters jumping down her throat.

Now Judith Collins is receiving the same treatment for, as the Herald calls it “lashing out” at Katie Bradford.

However, Winston’s trademark is bagging the media and they lap it up.

And Bob Jones punched a journalist when he was an aspiring politician and journalists are always sucking up to him. Nothing changes.

There is not a thing that you can criticise Coddington for with that statement. It is a truism.  Read more »

Bob Jones on Cunliffe’s lies


In Bob’s Herald opinion piece today, he tears Colin Craig a new one, but the more pertinent bit is buried in the middle of the article

Driving to the office a week ago I heard David Cunliffe on the radio and was staggered as everything he said was a wilful deceit. First, he lambasted the PM for not sacking Judith Collins given that he sacked Pansy Wong, for what he claimed was an identical offence.

That’s outrageous. Pansy Wong used public funds to pay for her and her husband’s trip to Asia, solely to pursue her husband’s business, which in Britain and Australia might have put her in prison. Collins’ case was vastly different, being one of principle and somewhat of a media beat-up.

Then Cunliffe explained that he wanted to introduce capital gains tax as farmers and people trading houses are not liable for tax.   Read more »

Bob Jones on women that should not aspire to manly things

In the early 1960s, to widespread disbelief, a woman lawyer hung out her shingle in Lower Hutt. I recall with colleagues gazing awestruck at this madness. Who would possibly use her? we asked. “I will,” promptly asserted an industrial building investor mate, noted for his extreme eccentricity, and so he did, but no one else followed and she soon vanished.

Women have come a long way since in New Zealand, rated last month by the Economist in the top five nations in its glass ceiling index. Prime ministers, Cabinet ministers, the chief justice, judges, the Ombudsman, government departmental heads, bishops, boxers and bulldozer drivers, mayors, company CEOs and entrepreneurs, doctors, editors, farmers, commercial pilots, governors-general, soldiers, ambassadors, professors; there’s no field where they don’t play an equal part and no one notices gender any more.

Moreover, this is particularly praiseworthy given women’s innate irrationality handicap, such as driving in the right-hand lane or pushing golf carts before them, despite their being designed for pulling.

Not to mention having opinions and ambitions of their own! Read more »