Craig Foss

ᔥ NZ Herald

Craig Foss is trying to rebuild confidence int he markets. How can a man with a gay ute inspire confidence?

The finance industry needs to work with the Government to help restore confidence in the markets, Commerce Minister Craig Foss told industry leaders last night.

Speaking to a record 750 guests at the Institute of Finance Professionals New Zealand (Infinz) awards in Auckland, Foss said the Government was focused on improving the regulatory environment for businesses, making the economy more productive and ensuring regulations were robust.

“The reforms in the finance sector have a crucial role to play in making this happen. We must stop, and thoroughly understand what went wrong. We can’t undo what happened, but we can work at the very least to minimise the impact of any future crisis.”

Of course it would help if the regulators weren’t run by little people with a Napoleon complex.

Hunting and Fishing are running a competition where share your photo of a Hilux in a ‘tougher than you can imagine situation’, the grand prize is a Toyota Hilux, non-gay version.

Here is our entry from the weekend…I can’t see Craig Foss putting one of these on his gay ute:

A close up of the hood ornament:

In an otherwise good article explaining why Nick Smith won more Politician of the Week awards than anyone else based on his principles and willingness to have a dust up with anyone over ideology, Matthew Hooton has a shocker when describing potential replacements.

The tragedy of his departure is that, like too many of the appointments after the 2011 election, he is likely to be replaced with a below-average-intelligence, grey, provincial yes-man, unwilling to challenge the status quo and valued simply as a safe pair of hands.

Hooton seems to think that the provinces are inhabited with troglodytes who haven’t succeeded in the real world based on intellectual rigor and their own hard work.

In Tauranga Simon Bridges is Oxford Educated, which not many westies are, and he is far to refined to have leopard skin on his car. In Rotorua Todd McClay build a substantial lobbying business in Brussels, which is arguably not the real world but it was bloody successful, created links with many New Zealand businesses and did a lot of diplomatic work for Pacific nations. And succeeding in lobbying at one of the biggest parliaments in the world may not be my idea of success but it is better than being a successful unionist in a backwater like the New Zealand union movement.

Louise Upston’s mastery of policy details and background in leadership training means she is a safe pair of hands and has the potential to lead, not to just to administer.

From Hawkes Bay Chris Tremain turned a moderately successful family business in to a highly successful one, at the same time as making huge contributions to sports in HB. He is not in parliament “safe pair of hands”, going on record to upset the small minded in Napier, challenging the status quo on amalgamation. Craig Foss may have a gay ute but he was as successful in banking on an international scale as John Key before entering parliament.

Chester Borrows is a bit too wet on law and order, when he could man up and back the prevailing wisdom which is working world wide. His willingness to take a stand that is unpopular in National show he is not “unwilling to challenge the status quo”.

In the Wairarapa highly intelligent former diplomat John Hayes has well over 40 years of standing up for what he believes in, and not being afraid of a turn up for a good cause. At Lincoln he tried to remove the students association from the New Zealand students association, allegedly because they were a pack of communists, radicals, pooftas and other misfits. John can rest easy at night knowing he fights the good fight and is not one of Hooton’s “below average intelligence”.

Further South Amy Adams has shown herself to be willing to take on difficult issues, and no one has ever accused her of being a “yes-man”. Jo Goodhew is hugely popular in her electorate, and it is a travesty for Hooton to describe her as grey.

Michael Woodhouse may not be favored by the voters in Dunedin but he came to parliament with a track record of success in a difficult industry, where challenging the the status quo is an important part of success. Anyone that knows Michael knows he has a fine intellect, and is definitely not “below-average-intelligence”.

David Shearer is missing in action.

This week of all weeks he needed to be front and centre, leading debate on all things political.

In more than six years there has never been an opportunity like a meddlesome judge throwing foreign ownership back on the plate, asset sales and a Finance Minister with incredibly loose lips, and the appearance of political interference by political appointees…all in the same week.

Where was David Shearer?

Missing in Action. Sure he was in the house but Labour is intent on following National’s poorly thought out play book that they used for Don Brash. They are protecting Shearer in parliament and letting others smack up ministers…the only problem is they are bombing their opportunities.

Clare Curran has appalling delivery, she tried for three days straight to shoot a possum, startled in the headlights and missed every time. She would stand to ask questions and take the call despite having no idea what question it was that she was going to ask…she would uhhmm and ahhh and make up her question on the fly and bomb it. She should have spanked Craig Foss who isn’t living up to all his Gilmore-esque hype. She failed.

David Shearer ceded the asset sales and foreign ownership debate to Winston Peters, who is looking more and more like the leader of the opposition…or at the very least like a co-leader with Russel Norman.

By fronting Campbell Live together with Winston Peters he put Winston on the same level as him. And Winston Peters, in one of his more lucid moments pwnd David Shearer.

David Shearer should never have fronted with Winston Peters, but then again it may have been part of the deal he made at less than secret dinner at Trade Kitchen on Wednesday night. Another part of that dinner deal was the handing of an additional parliamentary question from labour to Winston Peters on the Crafar farm issue.

Winston was given the question ostensibly to land a hit on the Prime Minister. It failed, Winston bombed the question…leaving me questioning why Labour would even bother handing a platform to Winston Peters again. If they had taken just a moment of thought they would have withheld that question, the Prime Minister is never int he house on Thursday anyway, and neither was David Shearer.

The fact that Winston Peters bombed the question shows what a poorly thought out decision it was, and then when Clare Curran was left hanging just when she really needed another question to smash Craig Foss in the face it wasn’t there. This was a poor house strategy, one can only imagine that Trevor Mallard was distracted with his own problems to have thought that one through properly.

Which brings me to the Mallard Problem that David Shearer faces. Trevor Mallard destroyed any momentum Labour had this week. Totally and utterly destroyed…once again through ineptitude and political stupidity labour was left shaking their collective heads at their political strategist.

When the issue broke Labour’s leadership ordered Mallard to apologise, repay and shut up. He chose to ignore them all despite repeated attempts to silence him. He went on a one man rampage through the media trying to justify a position that could not ever be justified. He proved himself to be an embarrassment and he still has not used the hardest word.

Trevor Mallard thumbing his nose at the leadership is the very obvious signal to every one watching on from the beltway outwards that David Shearer is not  control of his party. He needs to show some leadership and show it quickly. Trevor Mallard provides him with a perfect opportunity.

If I was David Shearer what I would do is immediately strip him of his Shadow Leader of the House position and find him a seat out of camera shot of the front bench. I would remove his spokesperson role for America’s Cup and give him something that requires zero travel…like Statistics or something equally demeaning. When he throws his toys, as he will as sure as the sun rises each morning, then I would invite him to resign his seat, he may as well anyway because I would be explaining to Trevor that with the loaded constitution of the party it is very unlikely he will get selected in Hutt South ever again. He may like to think that the residents of Hutt South love him but the political reality is that the rest of the country hates him.

Unless it is over politically for Trevor Mallard it will be over politically for David Shearer.

With Craig Foss becoming a minister and being able to trade in his gay ute perhaps he might like to team up with Peter Goodfellow and pimp their BMW rides. All it needs for Goodfellow is a little flag on the front.

On the surface Labour’s lowest ever result since 1928 is bad but manageable.

However if you look beyond the headline numbers and into the electorates you can see the terrible legacy Phil Goff has gifted the Labour party.

The recent result in Waitakere has only compounded the issue.

In a number of seats Labour have lost their local list MP for good. Take Rotorua, for instance, Todd McClay saw off Steve Chadwick for the second and last time. Labour’s poor showing in the party vote means Steve Chadwick is now handing in her gear and looking for a job. She won’t have an office and neither will labour in Rotorua for three years. In the local press they won;t have to go and seek comment on issues from the local Labour person because they simply don’t exist. For the next three years the only MP commenting on local issues in Rotorua will be Todd McClay.

Napier is the same. Stuart Nash ran a robust campaign and really pushed Chris Tremain. However Tremain prevailed and Labour’s poor party vote now sees Stuart Nash seeking a job as Chief of Staff in Wellington to David Shearer. He won’t be back. Labour loses a spokesperson in the Bay and an office and Chris Tremain will now enjoy unfettered press coverage for three years straight. His majority will bounce back like Craig Foss who enjoyed a similar holiday from a Labour list stalker. Julia Haydon-Carr faced an insurmountable challenge of overcoming the man with the gay ute, Craig Foss, who did not have Julia stalking him for three years like Nash stalked Tremain.

Paula Bennett has now seen off Carmel Sepuloni in Waitakere. Labour loses an office and a list MP who can dog her every move in Waitakere. Labour again through its poor party vote loses exposure, resources and personnel and cedes the argument to National in a key electorate.

In Christchurch Central, Nicky Wagner will likewise enjoy having no Labour list MP dogging her as Brendan Burns at number 29 on Labour’s list was left stranded high and dry. Nicky will now be able to cement her position as National’s voice in Christchurch, an island of blue in a sea of red. Labour loses their office and their voice which will have to be picked up and shared by others. Perhaps Clayton Cosgrove, after his defeat in Waimakiriri might establish a presence, but it will never be a full time one.

Sam Lotu Iiga in Maungakiekie also will enjoy not having Carol Beaumont stalk his every move. He will be hoping that no labour list MPs quit and that David Shearer will tell Beaumont that the face doesn’t fit but until then he too can enjoy an electorate without a Labour office ruining the view.

Losing those resources in key areas makes it very difficult to turn things around in 2014. Labour has less presence, less resources and they must spread thinly to ensure coverage. They don’t realise the significance yet of their decision to keep Goff at the helm so that he could do to Labour what Bill English did to national in 2002. Even the leaders office will suffer cutbacks due to the reduced vote. Some in the Goffice will be very nervous, not just because they were wedded to the disaster that was Phil Goff but because there simply isn’t enough cash now to retain them all.

This is the mess that Labour has inherited, but worse this is the mess they have charged a political novice with fixing. Does David Shearer have an Orewa speech in him? I don’t think so.

Without a shadow of a doubt, I can now see why Craig Foss wants to be a Minister.

He already has a gay ute, if he becomes a minister then he can travel in style with what a Gaywheels contributor describes as the unofficial gay car in Los Angeles:

…certain gay communities seem to prefer certain cars. The leather-and-Levis set loves a good truck; butch gals enjoy anything with 4×4, and for reasons yet to be explained, bears adore the tiniest of cars, like the MINI Cooper and the Mazda Miata. (This bodes well for the Fiat 500, no?)

And so, we weren’t really surprised yesterday when someone suggested that the BMW 7-Series is the unofficial gay car of Los Angeles. After all, communities can be tied to geography just as easily as body type, so it makes sense that LA’s up-and-commers would be drawn to the sleek, high-profile elegance of the 7-Series.

The Vehiclist explains:

Remember recently when Ron Howard and Vince Vaughan got into trouble for describing a car as “gay” in a movie trailer? It sparked a small debate about the approprietness of the word – particularily because it was used in derogetory terms. And lets face it: people who still use the word gay as an insult are idiots. End of argument. So lets move on.  Gay is not a bad thing, it is not an insult, so can it be applied to cars? Recently, a friend and I were having a conversation about the very subject. Turns out, in an impromptu inventory of his gay friend’s cars, one vehicle stood out. The BMW 7 series. Like 7 out of the 10 gay people he counted drove the 7 series. Now, understand that this friend travels in a typical 40 something ( albeit fabulous) crowd of successful people. People in different industries, but of a particular economic class, obviously. But still, why the high number of 7 Series? In my own experience, I too could think of a disproportionate number of gay people who had a BMW 7 series as well. Maybe there was a trend…

I bet Fossy’s Gay Ute can’t do this:

Fossy’s Gay Ute is getting a bit long in the tooth, he is probably looking for a replacement. Let’s use the power of the Whale Army to help him.

 Loading ...

Yes it does seem hard to believe, but some from the Nasty Party actually do have grace. Conceding in person is considered decent, but not often done by Labour. I’ve personally been along to Labour election night parties to support conceding National politicians, and had all sorts of shit hurled at me, but I have never seen a Labour candidate concede, ever. It is a rare sight.

Jacinda Ardern nearly beat Nikki Kaye, and in theory might win on specials. Even so she conceded in person showing grace that may well get her kicked out of Labour, but good on her for having the guts to front a National election night party when her party has taken an absolute bath.

In Tukituki Julia Haydon-Carr also conceded in person, and the tipline says managed to warm up the crowd by saying she didn’t mind losing to National but she did mind losing to a man with a gay ute. I reckon if she had made more of the “gay ute” issue she may well have swayed more of the bogan demographic into backing her. Her campaign vehicle next time should be a proper ute in order to shame Fossy.

Julia’s position on gay utes means joins Josie Pagani as Whaleoil endorsed left wing candidates.