Gerry Brownlee

ᔥ The Telegraph

Imagine the mayhem if this had been done by Gerry Brownlee.

Energy Minister Charles Hendry causes laughter in the Chamber after accidentally sitting on Ed Davey’s lap.

The Liberal Democrat MP inadvertently sat on his senior colleague after answering a question at the despatch box, prompting giggles from fellow Liberal Democrat MP Tessa Munt who was about to ask a question on Hinkley Point C nuclear power station.

Mr Hendry with good grace made light of the incident saying he “inadvertently sat on the Secretary of State, which shows our commitment to work seamlessly together in this coalition”.

Commenting on the spectacle as he was called to speak, shadow energy minister Tom Greatrex said: “Thank you very much Mr Speaker, and I will endeavour not to accidentally sit on either of my frontbench colleagues.”

The National Party has its LNI regional conference this weekend in Napier.  Delegates should ask the party hierarchy what they are doing about local government elections in 2013, especially since National opponents hold the mayoralties in the three major cities.

In Auckland Len Brown is vulnerable for numerous cock ups and generally looking like he is incompetent. He wants to spend all sorts of tax payers money on things National doesn’t want to spend money on, and has put rates up excessively in many National voting areas. He should be vulnerable but no one in National seems to be doing anything to run against him. Auckland based board members Alastair Bell and Peter Goodfellow seem to have done nothing to find a competent candidate to take on Len.

Wellington sees the Green Mayor Celia Wade-Brown facing a tough battle with Annette King. National have no potential candidate lined up to run against the two left wingers.

In Christchurch Bob Parker is not a National friend. Gerry Brownlee called him a clown, and probably wishes he could have said what he really thought. Lianne Dalziel will win and win easily against Bob. Internal polling show Bob has negatives that are absolutely unprecedented, so unprecedented that the poller suggested that Boober Fraggle would beat Bob by close to ten to one, and not even an earthquake would save Bob.

Does National have any good mayoral candidates?

ᔥNZ Herald

Someone has nicked hundreds of pies…not many leads…I wonder where Gerry or Parekura were yesterday?

Thieves who stole hundreds of pies from an Oamaru bakery could find their haul too hot to handle.

Police are baffled why the culprits were so greedy and have warned people to be on their guard if they are offered a large quantity of pies on the cheap.

The thieves ignored other foodstuffs when they targeted Coupland’s Bakery at the weekend.

About $850 worth of pies were taken.

Community Constable Bruce Dow asked the obvious question: “Why would anyone take that many pies?”

With all the fuss that the left wing and Labour made over Gerry Brownlee’s humorous quips about Finland being an insult and demands that he resign I should think that those same people should be calling for the resignation of David Parker.

After all he wasn’t joking, he was deadly serious.

So far the only real response from Finland was from a radio and tv host and couple of editorials, Mexico’s response to David Parker’s comments though has been official in the form of a letter from the Ambassador.

Oh and while they’re at it, they may want to call for David Shearer’s resignation as well because he slagged off Mexico in his big speech on April 19.

I have learned via the tipline that there are actually two jobs up for grabs – Government Relations Manager and Comms Manager for Sky City.

So there is the opportunity for two of Bews-Hair’s mates to be appointed to pivotal roles. This complicates the book somewhat but does mean you can choose two dependent on role. And yes, you heard it here, Andi Brotherston is no longer in the
Comms Manager role.

Via the tipline I’ve been advised a few others may also be in the mix. They include:

Mike Munro
A former colleague of Bews-Hair. Most know Munro as Clark’s spin doctor but he had a successful stint at Treasury as the Comms Manager before being headhunted by Todd Group. He’s only been there a short while but again an easy transition to go from oil exploration to the depths of gambling. Interesting that two of Bews-Hair’s good mates are in the wider Todd Group – Sifa Taumopeau is with Todd Property. I hear he is happy at Todd so only at 25 to 1 as less likely to move.

Chris Bishop
Chris is a former advisor to Gerry Brownlee but lost the pie eating contest to other staff members so had to jump ship. Despite many advising him not to, Bishop went to work for tobacco. The upside is that the leap from tobacco to gaming is bugger all. Likely to be too inexperienced for the role and has ambitions to be an MP one day. Same problem as Nash – A peacock does not a good gambling lobbyist make. There are others in tobacco lobbying who are more experienced and talented than Bishop. 30 to 1

Mark Watts
Yet another of the former Clark staffers, good mate of Munro and Bews-Hair. Currently at Telecom (following a similar career path to Taumoepeau who also came to the Sky City job under Bews-Hair’s tutelage and from a Telecom external relation role). The quiet outsider who could surprise. 15 to 1

So, the book is as follows:
James Bews-Hair: scratched
Don Badman: scratched (now in London and very happy there)
Someone from Council offices 100 to 1
Conor Roberts: 50 to 1
Chris Bishop: 30 to 1
Bruce Robertson: 25 to 1
Mike Munro: 25 to 1
Catherine Etheredge: 20 to 1
Nick Albrecht: 15 to 1
Tim Hurdle: 15 to 1
Mark Watts: 15 to 1
Stuart Nash: 10 to 1
Close mate of Bews-Hair: 5 to 1

Place your choice in the comments or to the tipline.

So to recap, the current book is:

• Bruce Robertson, current head of the Hospitality Association 25 to 1
• Conor Roberts, political operative to Len Brown 50 to 1

Let’s now look at a few of the more likely contenders:

Catherine Etheredge

Another mate of Bews-Hair. She was Comms Manager for POAL  up until March this year (coincidentally around the time that the Port changed their strategy on how to deal with the union).  She’s only been in the Comms Manager role at the NZ Super Fund a couple of months but that’s no reason to not take the Sky City role.  At best though I can only put her at 20 to 1.

Tim Hurdle

Current Chief Advisor to Gerry Brownlee.  A Nat but one that operates in a similar way to Bews-Hair, and no doubt someone that Bews-Hair has come across within the transport portfolio.  Whether Bews-Hair and Hurdle have had a couple of drinks together will decide if Hurdle is ‘the one’.  Sky City will also need to consider if it looks even murkier to have someone from Key’s Government come on board as their adviser… and if the Nats are likely to be Government in 2014.  15 to 1

Stuart Nash

Much has been made by the Dom Post of Nash leaving Shearer’s office.  The well-shopped rumours say that he is leaving to spend time with his new baby and having a run at taking the seat off Tremain.  I have heard whispers that he is meeting with Sky City in the next week or so.  I understand though that Bews-Hair thinks Nash would be a better MP than lurker simply because Nash is a bit of a peacock and would rather see his name in lights.  Quick Nashie, you had better go have a catch up with Bews-Hair.  10 to 1

Some of Bews-Hair’s closest mates like Sifa Taumoepeau and Scott Campbell can’t possibly be in the mix because they’ve been there done that (as they were shoulder tapped by Bews-Hair to be previous Sky City lobbyists).  Important to note that Bews-Hair’s mates are on all sides of the political compass.  Others close to Bews Hair include Don Badman (he is back in Parliament from a long time advising government departments but is seen to be too nice of a guy for the corporate world).  Perhaps I should put odds on it being a close mate of Bews-Hair at 5 to 1.

I suppose I should include the Comms people in the NightMayor’s office and the wider Council but it seems they are a bizarre mix of lightweights, flakes and idiots.  100 to 1.

Hmmm… who am I missing?  I am happy to take further suggestions via the tip line.

When Gerry Brownlee focussed on David Shearer’s new found admiration for Finland, he missed out some vital information.

I doubt David Shearer had thought of this either, but it came to me while shooting and killing deer with my Finnish rifle.

Tikka and Sako are both top rifle brands, renowned for accuracy and Tikka especially known for value for money. I’m pretty sure that more Tikka and Sako rifles are sold than any other brands. The reason is they are simply the best bang for your buck.

I have a Tikka T3 Lite Stainless in .308 calibre.

The other thing the Finns are known for is their brilliant snipers. They don’t come much better than Simo Häyhä who was an absolute killing machine:

Nicknamed “White Death” by the Red Army, was a Finnish sniper. Using a modified Mosin–Nagant in the Winter War, he has the highest recorded number of confirmed sniper kills — 505 — in any major war. Häyhä was also credited with over 200 kills with a Suomi KP/-31 submachine gun, for a total of 705 confirmed kills.

Imagine what his kills would have been had he used the Sako TRG M10 instead of a Russian rifle.

I’d happily trade Fonterra for Sako and Tikka.

ᔥ NZ Herald

Some humourless fool Finn has decided he isn;t going to sell Kiwi beer he has already paid for:

A Finnish bar has removed New Zealand beers from its shelves as the backlash continues over comments made by Minister Gerry Brownlee last week.

Eikan Pub, in the town of Jarvenpaa near Helsinki, has removed more than 50 bottles of two Kiwi beers, including Steinlager Pure, from its selection of foreign beers on offer.

Publican Eino Lehtinen told Helsingin Sanomat the action was a protest against Mr Brownlee’s “grossly insulting” comments.

Those Kiwi breweries have already been paid for the beer, the only person he is hurting is himself.

I am on The Huddle this afternoon with Larry Williams.

Number 2 is on with me.

Our topics are:

Gerry Brownlee’s comments about Finland causing a  bit of upset!

The Chris Cairns case in the UK where he won the libel case over the dodgy IPL guy who said he was a cheat on twitter.

Depending on developments at the Employment Court we could be talking about the Ports of Auckland and the lazy, overpaid, racist, bully, union scum holding the country to ransom.

As usual I will post the adio tomorrow, but you can listen online from 1740.

As I posted earlier, I’m genuinely pleased that some in Finland have demonstrated a sense of humour after the noise generated by Gerry Brownlee’s over-egged comments about the place.

As Kiwis we’re used to being on the receiving end of sheep jokes, and there’s nothing wrong with a bit of mutual piss-taking.

But if the Finns were upset by Brownlee’s comments, they must have been absolutely apoplectic about this item on 60 Minutes, where the Finns were described as the “shyest people in the world”, “depressed and proud of it”.

Here’s the first bit of the clip, just the sort of country that David Shearer wants us to emulate.

The first comment on the original YouTube clip reads:

 ”Start war agaist us, and you see how united and shy are we.

Dont fu*c with finns.”

Clearly!

Anyway, Gerry Brownlee has famous company.

Monty Python took the piss out of Finland too.

Humour and perspective are wonderful things.