(Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)
As the old saying goes, “be careful what you wish for; you might not like it if you get it.” Never more apposite than for those clowns who regard Hone Harawira as some sort of messiah who are currently talking about a “separate state” in the far north for them – presumably with Hone as President for Life, like some sort of south seas Mugabe. So how would it work?
Well, first the boundaries, which would become borders with New Zealand. How about a line from Kawakawa north, and then east to the coast just south of Waitangi, and west from Kawakawa in a straight line to the coast? Not much point including Paihia and Russell – game fishing boats require a lot of maintenance and spare parts, and there probably wont be sufficient foreign exchange to buy those from New Zealand. But I guess the borders could be open for negotiation. Anything to get rid of the malcontents I say.
That leaves the happy residents of Honeland with two harbours – the Hokianga, which though pretty treacherous, was one of the earliest routes into New Zealand back in the day, and the Whangaroa on the east coast which is more navigable. But with the Maori being such great seafarers, if the captains of sailing ships could get over the Hokianga bar, it should be no problem for the boys in motor powered craft.
But that raises just the first problem. How to pay for petrol and spares? This of course will also be a problem at Kaitaia International Airport – perhaps renamed after Hone’s much loved mother, and kuia to the tribe. Titewhai International has a certain ring to it….But that is probably for the future. For now, transiting through Auckland en route to international hui might have to do. But then there is the problem of visas for Hone and his citizens. Having just got rid of them, we might not be too keen on having them back, even as transit passengers.
So how to pay for all this? There will be the orchards around Kerikeri – the former owners of which will have to be compensated if they don’t wish to stay in Hone’s paradise – which will provide some cash, but then orchards are also costly to maintain, and require a fair bit of work. And of course the markets for the produce will be across the border in New Zealand, and there would be very strict border controls to ensure no plant diseases are imported inadvertently from Honeland. We are known for our strict border controls, so no question of non tariff barriers could arise. And those pesticides can be very costly.
Then there are the 4WD’s and large cars the bros are so keen on. They make a great sound, but are very heavy on the gas. And the roads they run on…labour should be no problem because plenty of the boys are just dying for work – except in the forestry industry which can’t get workers up there because of the small matter of drug testing. But that asphalt is very expensive stuff, as are the machines which apply it.
The forests of course would become the national property of Honeland –generous compensation having to be paid to the present owners who are so picky about who they employ. So timber – eventually – would provide an income…at the cost of what would inevitably be large numbers of serious injuries as workers high on their “sacrament” sliced into their legs when trying to fell the trees. Although much derided, forestry work is skilled and hard – no job for the stoned and unfit.
Then of course there are computers, cell phones, ipods TV’s and all the other accoutrements of 21st century society – unless the good residents of Honeland would be content with entertaining themselves as they did pre-European settlement. Somehow I think kapa haka nights every Saturday just might not satisfy the younger residents of Honeland for long. They might then resort to other more traditional activities to liven things up…like bloody internecine warfare. But let’s not go there because, thank God, it would no longer be any of our business.
The great advantage of Honeland for the rest of us of course is that down here in New Zealand we would no longer have to listen to whining about how badly the colonized race had been treated; all such whiners could simply be told “move to Honeland! Enjoy traditional Maori life unpolluted and completely free from the iniquitous white man!” I am not entirely sure how large scale immigration by iwi the Ngapuhi once ate and enslaved would go, but no doubt President Hone and his wise council of elders would be able to sort it out.
I almost forgot electricity. Even assuming hapa haka nights became the dominant form of entertainment, the residents of Honeland would presumably wish to have lights to see the show, and be able to brew a hot cuppa afterwards before retiring to the whare. The Ngawha area may well be capable of fueling a geothermal power station, but then drilling wells is so expensive – a lot of pine trees and kerikeri oranges to drill and complete half a dozen geothermal wells and the power station atop them.
So there you have it – just a small sample of the problems an independent state of Honeland would entail. Or is the idea that WE fund it? Somehow I think that idea would be considerably less welcome as a use of our taxation dollar than the rise in GST last parliamentary term. So be careful what you wish for lads…we might just grant your wishes!