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humour
LEAKED: National’s antidote to Labour’s Election Day “KFC” strategy
via newlaunches.com
As we all know, Labour and the Unions mobilise South Auckland voters on election day with the additional enticement of a decent KFC feed.
This infallible method has seen impressive results, with the affected electorates privately dubbed “KFC Central” and ”KFC East”.
National has been powerless to anything about it.
Until now.
David Shearer suddenly remembers affair
The Civilian reports
David Shearer says the two year long affair just slipped his mind
Labour Leader David Shearer has today revealed that, for a two year period between July 2009 and November 2011, he engaged in a romantic affair with a young office worker at his Mt. Albert electorate office in Auckland. Shearer claims that he “only just remembered” the affair and that up until now he had “completely forgotten it.”
The Leader of the Opposition told his wife and children of the affair last night, before calling a press conference outside his office this morning to explain it to the media.
“So I was sitting at home with Anuschka last night” said Shearer, referring to his wife of more than two decades. “We were watching old DVDs of Desperate Housewives, and there was some sort of dirty hanky panky going on between one of the wives and this younger man who wasn’t her husband. And I turned to Anuschka and I said ‘Oh yeah, I did that once.’”
“She was pretty upset” said Shearer. “But look, as I’ve told you, I’d completely forgotten. I meant to tell her earlier, but it must’ve just slipped my mind.”
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read the rest at The Civilian
Whaletech: Where to next for Apple’s iOS?
Cult of Mac writes
Apple has a long history of naming its new versions of the OS X operating system after successively larger cats, but after eleven years of this, Cupertino’s got a problem on their hands: they’ve pretty much run out of big Earth cats.
Far beyond the Oort cloud, however, there are even bigger and more ferocious cats on the loose. Feel the magic and hear the roar of OS X Lion-O, Third Earth’s most popular operating system.
Featuring Snarf, your Mac’s cowering new digital sidekick, revolutionary Sight Beyond iSight technology, and i of Thundera compatibility, OS X Lion-O is the best Mac operating system yet.
Russel Norman overjoyed at Solid Energy failure
via TV3
Green Party co-leader Dr Russel Norman said today that Solid Energy’s troubles were “the best possible result under the circumstances.” Read more »
Tagged: Alternative Headlines • Green Taliban • humour • Imagination Crisis • John Key • Russel Norman • Solid Energy • West Coast
Some funnies
Tagged: humour
