humour

Ever wondered if you are an Aspie?

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We  joke about Asperger’s syndrome in our family.  None of us have ever been diagnosed as being an Aspie but we certainly recognise a few Aspie qualities in the way that we interact and do things. Both Cameron and my son have  encyclopaedia-like memories. Cameron’s specialty is history and politics and his general knowledge is incredible.

I read recently that Aspie women are better at hiding their Aspie qualities from others. Apparently, they are better at pretending to be “normal” than the guys.

A wicked sense of humour is also, I believe, a common Aspie trait so here is a set of fun questions to find out if you too belong to the weird and wonderful world of the Aspie. I recognise myself and members of my family in quite a few.

NOTE: This is not a diagnostic tool – it is a bit of fun.

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Diversity at Whaleoil is vast, like the right-wing conspiracy

We here at Whaleoil pride ourselves on our diversity. The Ferald has asked if different organisations are too white. We here at Whaleoil ask if our organisation is too diversely fabulous?

The staff who run Whaleoil like a well-oiled… er Whale come from all walks of life. We were founded by a Fijian coconut.

Fijian coconut

Fijian coconut

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I’m a rightie so that makes me…

Inspired by an article on Stuff, I have decided to gauge what New Zealanders think about right-wing culture in a tongue-in-cheek move to try to change people’s perceptions.

Please finish the following sentence in the comments. The one with most upvotes wins.

Feel free to be negative, positive and also humorous. I do ask that you refrain from being crude or plain nasty.

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I am a rightie so that makes me…

Before you start here are some pictures to get your creative juices flowing.

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Suggestions for Labour’s 5100 places in emergency houses per year

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In the unlikely event that Labour are the government next election they have made a reckless promise to fund 5100 more emergency places in housing each year. One of the key problems they will have to face is the shortage of land in popular cities like Auckland. So, I have  made some suggestions for cost-effective and small homes to make the 5100 places both more doable  and more affordable.

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I am a leftie so that makes me…

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Inspired by an article on Stuff, I have decided to gauge what New Zealanders think about left-wing culture in a tongue-and-cheek move to try to change people’s perceptions.

Please finish the following sentence in the comments. The one with most upvotes wins.

Feel free to be negative, positive and also humorous. I do ask that you refrain from being crude or plain nasty.

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I am a leftie so that makes me…

Before you start here are some pictures to get your creative juices flowing.

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Photo of the Day

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Ann Lawanick struggles to support her exhausted partner, Jack Ritof, during a dance marathon in Chicago. IMAGE: LIBRARY OF CONGRESS/CORBIS/VCG VIA GETTY IMAGES

Bop Till You Drop

During The Great Depression, People Danced Until They Literally Dropped

Despite the use of the word ‘dance,’ the dance marathon was not a dance event so much as a social phenomenon. It demanded everything in the way of stamina and determination

Americans first experienced and embraced dance marathons in 1923, after which these events quickly gained popularity. But the dance marathon that burst upon the scene as yet another fad in keeping with the ebullient nature of the 1920s was dissimilar in form and intent from the dance marathon as it would evolve during the depression years of the 1930s. Within a decade, dance marathons were quickly transformed into a combination of contest and entertainment, replete with spectacle, humour, horror, romance suspense, and drama.

Between 1928 and 1934 when the Great Depression was devastating America, dance marathons became a major form of popular entertainment. Forced to consider all options for economic and emotional survival, many people chose the dance marathons. For the watchers, it was a diversion that held out the hope of seeing someone beat the odds and win, but most importantly, it was about them, a performative representation of people physically enduring gruellingly hard times. For contestants, winning meant earning money and maybe going on to bigger and better things. For the losers, they temporarily had hopes, food, shelter, and stability in an unstable world. Simply defined, a dance marathon was a competition to see which couple could dance or stay upright for the longest period of time without stopping.

Initially dance marathons were a product of the excessive mood of frivolity and celebration that characterized the 1920s and, as such, the concept behind them was both simple and naïve. Early marathoners wanted to break endurance records and gain fame. By the late 1920s and early 1930s, however, the Great Depression had altered the marathons. “Whereas in the 1920s marathons were part of the mood of liberated living in the name of patriotism, in the 1930s they represented arduous struggle for survival.

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Let’s analyse some fairy tales to death

Family life professor Sarah M Coyne has done her best to ruin Disney Princess ‘culture’ for young girls so I thought that I should assist her as best I can. I put on my progressive goggles and viewed these delightful tales through the eyes of an academic who has no appreciation or understanding of the  innocent pleasure these tales give to children.

Armed with her reality distorting Progressive Goggles she prepared was ready to analyse a fairy story to death

Armed with her reality distorting Progressive Goggles she was ready to analyse a fairy story to death

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Barbara Dreaver and Michael Field, news story writing competition

Blacklisted TVNZ journalist Barbara Dreaver touches down in Fiji for first time in eight years. Image: From TVNZ One News video

Blacklisted TVNZ journalist Barbara Dreaver touches down in Fiji for first time in eight years. Image: From TVNZ One News video

“No one who reports on events in Fiji fairly and in a balanced manner is excluded. Any journalist is free to criticise my government or me in an opinion piece of report criticism by others in their news stories. But we cannot allow the wilful propagation of false information that damages our national interest and undermines our [Fijian] economy. And that is what has happened in the case of certain journalists and others from Australia.”

Bainimarama cited TVNZ footage of military tanks in the streets of Suva, even though Fiji had no tanks, and a claim that Fijian children were starving and eating grass.

-Stuff

Michael Field

Michael Field

Instead of being ashamed and apologetic for making up the news instead of reporting on it Barbara Dreaver and Michael Field are upset that they are no longer welcome in Fiji. To show our support for their special kind of journalism I invite you all in the comments to submit a 1-2 paragraph News report complete with accompanying photo.

*Remember that you do not need to let the truth get in the way of a good story. This is a Barbara Dreaver and Michael Field news story writing competition so we are not concerned about the facts, just a gripping tale.

To get your creative juices flowing I have submitted my own entry below.

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Eleanor Catton movie leaks online prior to premiere at NZ Film Festival

via Metro Mag

via Metro Mag

Eleanor Catton was elevated against her will as a prominent New Zealander after winning the Man Booker Prize for her hefty tome.  Fellow citizens were delighted, and just as they like to bathe in the reflected glory of an All Blacks victory as if they had personally had to pick the mud and grass from their teeth after a try, they claimed Ms Catton’s achievement as their own.

And that’s where things went wrong.

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Labour fundraising off the back of past glories

Labour does not have a glorious future planned for voters. Their message consistently has been one of removing the government and stopping John Key. They do not have a vision, apart from a New Zealand where John Key is not the leader. Given their lack of vision and policies it is no surprise that they are relying on Labour’s past successes in order to try to fundraise for its future.

Juana,

Twenty-nine years ago today, a Labour Government passed legislation banning nuclear ships and arms from entering our country.

It was a proud period in our country’s history: we stood on our own two feet against the superpowers of the world and said no to nuclear weapons.

To celebrate the occasion, we’re releasing two limited edition t-shirts remembering David Lange’s immortal words from the Oxford Union Debate and Labour’s commitment to a nuclear-free country.

Click the link in your email client if these images haven't downloaded Click the link in your email client if these images haven't downloaded
GET YOURS NOW ($40)
GET YOURS NOW ($40)

The proceeds from every sale go directly to electing the next Labour Government in 2017.

Thanks,

Andrew Kirton
Labour General Secretary

Based on these T-Shirts and the State houses’ tea towels they were selling earlier, Labour’s campaign slogan should be,’ New Zealand’s future is in the past. Vote Labour.’ 

OR

‘A vote for Labour is a vote for the good old days.’

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But seriously those T-Shirts and tea towels are so boring. They need to be selling ones similar to these…

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