humour

God help us. Urinals in women’s bathrooms for transgenders that identify as female

Surely the answer is to have unisex toilets everywhere?

 

 

Kumara Bill

Image-Lord Evans Whaleoil

 

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Maybe Bishop Brian Tamaki was onto something

Everyone has been quick to mock Bishop Brian for saying that homosexuals cause earthquakes and other natural disasters but what if he is on to something? If gays cause things like earthquakes and lightning strikes then couldn’t we harness that power for good? This could become a policy platform for the Greens. Who needs nuclear power when you can harness the power of Gay.

gay-power-flag

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My inappropriate relationship with Colin Craig

Colin Craig

Colin Craig

There has been another man in our marriage for quite a while now. He casts a shadow over my husband and I and he is a threat to our happiness. He has been the subject of a number of my fantasies. In my favourite one, he slowly turns to me, loosens his tie and in a deep voice says, ” I am so sorry for putting you and your family through all this legal nonsense.” He then he signs a few cheques and rides off into the sunset never to be seen or heard of again.

Like so many inappropriate relationships the reality is never as good as the fantasy and yesterday I met Colin Craig for the very first time. Little was I to know that hours later he would be metaphorically lying in a pool of blood as the Judge (cast in the role of gunslinger) calmly blew the smoke from her six-shooter and then slid it firmly into her judicial holster. Colin had lost his case against us. He had been called a vexatious litigant over and over and over again and he had been told that  he was wasting the courts time. He was also told that in the extremely unlikely event that he won at trial that he would be awarded no damages at all as his poem, like his case had no value at all. It was a legal blood bath.

When I decided to meet the star of my fantasies for the first time it was my intention to stare him down using my evil look. My evil look is famous as it has been known to make grown men cower and even the mighty Cameron Slater has been known to cringe and avoid eye contact when I have aimed it in his direction.

When we arrived I looked around for the man that so callously uses his wealth to threaten those who exposed him and this is what I saw…

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Let’s play the CNN porn game

cnn

This week CNN accidentally aired  30 minutes of hard core, transsexual porn. Some would say that it’s the first real news CNN has aired in years but what is even funnier is the name of the show that was supposed to be playing that the porn replaced for half an hour. The show was called…
drum-roll-please-2
wait for it…

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Unwritten car parking rules of New Zealand

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Yesterday I was giving my daughter yet another driving lesson and after an encounter in the undercover Countdown carpark she told me that I should write a post about the unwritten car parking rules of New Zealand. My unwritten rules may be different to your unwritten rules but I think it is time to open the discussion because some of you insist on breaking them!

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Male feminist doesn’t get the point of #Meninist

Another reason to buy from My Food Bag

I do like a company with a sense of humour.

screenshot-whaleoil.co.nz

screenshot-whaleoil.co.nz

It reminds me of this….

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An unknown mental illness is believed responsible for a series of violent incidents

You may have noticed that mental health has been in the media a lot lately.  Globally there has been incident after incident where previously seemingly healthy men have suffered  inexplicable nervous breakdowns. This mysterious epidemic of mental or psychiatric illnesses has left researchers struggling to find a common cause or factor. So far experts remain baffled.

Homophobicus orlanditis: In this disturbing case, a young man from an ethnically diverse and culturally rich background that coincidentally has strong traditional taboos against such modern practices as man on man copulation or woman on woman coupling and yet who exhibited no previous symptoms of any mental disorder whatsoever mysteriously suffered an acute breakdown of his nervous system (or homophobicus orlanditis), when he found himself inexplicably confronted by a tutu-wearing group of cavorting drag queens in a “gays only” nightclub in an American tourist resort. Symptoms of the mysterious breakdown included loudly and repetitively shouting out guttural slogans with strong flat vowel sounds whilst expressing his neurological disturbances via the means of shooting everybody dead. Diagnosis: Unknown mental illness.

Catholicus intoleranza: In this extremely rare case, a young man and his associate, both from ethnically diverse and culturally rich heritages that coincidentally hold strong traditional taboos against the faith-expression practices of so-called “non-believers” and yet who exhibited no previous symptoms of any mental disorders mysteriously suffered an acute and simultaneous breakdown of their nervous systems (suspected catholicus intoleranza) when they found themselves accidentally confronted by one old priest and two nuns swinging a bowl of incense in front of their faces in a French medieval town. Symptoms of this unusual twinned nervous breakdown include both individuals simultaneously breaking into guttural verbal manifestations with unusual linguistic quirks whilst displaying signs of acute psychological disturbances via the means of slitting the priest’s throat. Diagnosis: Unknown mental illness.

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New Zealand media headline of the day

screenshot-whaleoil.co.nz

screenshot-whaleoil.co.nz

Screenshot-whaleoil.co.nz

Screenshot-whaleoil.co.nz

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