masturbation

On circumcision

Apparently the headache excuse is real

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Someone clearly had a point to prove….that when your missus says she has a headache that means no, rather than going to get her a couple of Panadol

It’s taken an army of mice (and a group of clever Canadian researchers) to crack open an old sexual chestnut and get at the meat inside: For women, “Not tonight dear, I have a headache” is not a passive-aggressive rebuff to a mate’s sexual invitation (not always, at least). It’s a biological phenomenon with deep evolutionary roots.

Even for females who’ve never watched a 1950s movie or been schooled in the art of sexual gamesmanship, bodily pain puts a serious damper on sexual desire, new research has revealed.

And pain reduction can help restore libido squelched by physical discomfort (which suggests that fetching an analgesic and a glass of water might be a better strategy than sulking or wheedling). ¬† Read more »

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Masturbation wasn’t proven, but I bet he was registered

aaaaaaaaaaand another one

A teacher has been suspended after admitting watching pornography in his classroom.

In a Teachers’ Disciplinary Tribunal decision, released today, the teacher had his teaching certificate suspended for three months for serious misconduct.

He had also been accused by a pupil of masturbating in his classroom during a lunchbreak but denied this allegation.

Tribunal chairman Kenneth Johnston said it was not the tribunal’s place to resolve this factual conflict.

The accessing of pornography was enough to suspend the licence without proving the claim of masturbation, Johnston said. ¬† Read more »

Has Len Brown been moonlighting in Wanganui?

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Photo/ via tipline

We all know that some truckies are wankers, but I don‚Äôt know of any wage paid drivers who have enough time to jerk off as a ‚Äúgroup‚ÄĚ activity which would warrant such an approach. Owner drivers would not be subject to seat inspections.

Now if Len Brown has been moonlighting as a truck driver in Wanganui I can easily imagine this being an issue, and it only takes him two minutes so easily accomplished on driver rest breaks.¬† Read more »

Dear Lord, please don’t let Len Brown find the meth

This article has to be a candidate for headline for the year.

Headline of the Year?

Headline of the Year?

High on meth, tasered and fighting off 15 cops…all while having a tug.

An Oregon man who was high on meth reportedly fought off more than a dozen police officers in a Salem bar while allegedly publicly masturbating.

Andrew Frey, 37, made a series of outbursts and then began masturbating in Iggy Bar & Grill on Saturday, The Oregonian reports.

Police were unable to subdue Frey with a Taser. It took 15 officers to finally take him into custody, officials said.¬† Read more »

I bet Len signs up for this academic course

Is there no limit to academic study?

I’ll bet if this was a course available in Auckland Len Brown would get honours.

Elon University (Elon) in Elon, North Carolina, is offering students a course aimed at teaching them how better to masturbate.

A¬†re-tweet¬†sent out on the Elon oriented account¬†OnlyAtElon,¬†posted a screen-shot on Monday of the course ‚ÄúBTB: 018: Self-Pleasure.‚ÄĚ

Happy Monday everyone!! @OnlyAtElon #onlyelon #selfpleasure pic.twitter.com/4f1nF7QvR2

‚ÄĒ hanna wentz (@hannawentz)¬†November 18, 2013¬† ¬† Read more »

One way of managing your cock tax

Cock tax is evil and it is no wonder that blokes are seeking minimise the tax…but this is taking tax evasion to extremes.

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Davecat lives with his wife and mistress, both dolls, and thinks synthetic partners are ideal for those who don’t want to deal with humans’ inconsistencies.¬† Read more »

Comment of the Day

Yesterday I posted about the herald interviewing their own staff member and green activist Max Coyle.

Bart commented:

A few months ago, I stopped buying the Herald, as it was becoming obvious to me that the standards were dropping, and that a once eminently readable broadsheet has now become a travesty, a tabloid gutter rag. Having travelled and read some of the very well written and informative papers around the world, and especially in Australia, it is apparent that the correct response to the onslaught from the digital media is to actually increase the quality of the product, not dumb it down and make it pretty and colourful! However, some idiot with a degree in marketing or some such, a person not unlike Mr Max Coyle, one suspects, has decided that the primary purpose of the fourth estate must be to fill in all those annoying spaces between the advertisements! End result, APN now have an absolute dog of a product, an editorial staff less interested in reporting the news than spinning it, and a public that they treat like an ill-informed unthinking mass, a blank canvas on which to sketch thier ideas as to how we should think.¬† Read more »

Has Shane Jones taken up cycling? Is Trevor in Sweden?

Cyclists are road lice anyway…now some are resorting to degradation to get off on cycling.

Motorists beware, filthy masturbating cyclists on the prowl.

Swedish police are on the hunt for a man who likes bicycles a little too much.

Fed up that someone was slashing his tyres, cyclist Per Edstrom set up a camera outside his home and caught the bike molester red-handed.

Footage from Mr Edstrom’s camera shows a hooded man cutting open a tyre and then pleasuring himself as the tyre deflates.

Mr Edstrom told Swedish paper Kv√§llsposten: “My girlfriend finds it all a little concerning; you never know if he has checked her out in some way, and whether it is a picture of her he has in his hand when he is masturbating.

“This man is probably completely harmless, bicycles are just his thing. I am not scared of him, but mostly irritated over all the punctures I have had to fix.”

Police in the city of Osterlund believe Edstrom’s bike-lover could be linked to a series of similar crimes in the area five years ago.

Back then a 35-year-old man was arrested for allegedly slashing the tyres of 20 bikes and masturbating over their saddles.

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The day the Earth stopped mast…. what?