masturbation

Masturbation wasn’t proven, but I bet he was registered

aaaaaaaaaaand another one

A teacher has been suspended after admitting watching pornography in his classroom.

In a Teachers’ Disciplinary Tribunal decision, released today, the teacher had his teaching certificate suspended for three months for serious misconduct.

He had also been accused by a pupil of masturbating in his classroom during a lunchbreak but denied this allegation.

Tribunal chairman Kenneth Johnston said it was not the tribunal’s place to resolve this factual conflict.

The accessing of pornography was enough to suspend the licence without proving the claim of masturbation, Johnston said. ¬† Read more »

Has Len Brown been moonlighting in Wanganui?

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Photo/ via tipline

We all know that some truckies are wankers, but I don‚Äôt know of any wage paid drivers who have enough time to jerk off as a ‚Äúgroup‚ÄĚ activity which would warrant such an approach. Owner drivers would not be subject to seat inspections.

Now if Len Brown has been moonlighting as a truck driver in Wanganui I can easily imagine this being an issue, and it only takes him two minutes so easily accomplished on driver rest breaks.¬† Read more »

Dear Lord, please don’t let Len Brown find the meth

This article has to be a candidate for headline for the year.

Headline of the Year?

Headline of the Year?

High on meth, tasered and fighting off 15 cops…all while having a tug.

An Oregon man who was high on meth reportedly fought off more than a dozen police officers in a Salem bar while allegedly publicly masturbating.

Andrew Frey, 37, made a series of outbursts and then began masturbating in Iggy Bar & Grill on Saturday, The Oregonian reports.

Police were unable to subdue Frey with a Taser. It took 15 officers to finally take him into custody, officials said.¬† Read more »

I bet Len signs up for this academic course

Is there no limit to academic study?

I’ll bet if this was a course available in Auckland Len Brown would get honours.

Elon University (Elon) in Elon, North Carolina, is offering students a course aimed at teaching them how better to masturbate.

A¬†re-tweet¬†sent out on the Elon oriented account¬†OnlyAtElon,¬†posted a screen-shot on Monday of the course ‚ÄúBTB: 018: Self-Pleasure.‚ÄĚ

Happy Monday everyone!! @OnlyAtElon #onlyelon #selfpleasure pic.twitter.com/4f1nF7QvR2

‚ÄĒ hanna wentz (@hannawentz)¬†November 18, 2013¬† ¬† Read more »

One way of managing your cock tax

Cock tax is evil and it is no wonder that blokes are seeking minimise the tax…but this is taking tax evasion to extremes.

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Davecat lives with his wife and mistress, both dolls, and thinks synthetic partners are ideal for those who don’t want to deal with humans’ inconsistencies.¬† Read more »

Comment of the Day

Yesterday I posted about the herald interviewing their own staff member and green activist Max Coyle.

Bart commented:

A few months ago, I stopped buying the Herald, as it was becoming obvious to me that the standards were dropping, and that a once eminently readable broadsheet has now become a travesty, a tabloid gutter rag. Having travelled and read some of the very well written and informative papers around the world, and especially in Australia, it is apparent that the correct response to the onslaught from the digital media is to actually increase the quality of the product, not dumb it down and make it pretty and colourful! However, some idiot with a degree in marketing or some such, a person not unlike Mr Max Coyle, one suspects, has decided that the primary purpose of the fourth estate must be to fill in all those annoying spaces between the advertisements! End result, APN now have an absolute dog of a product, an editorial staff less interested in reporting the news than spinning it, and a public that they treat like an ill-informed unthinking mass, a blank canvas on which to sketch thier ideas as to how we should think.¬† Read more »

Has Shane Jones taken up cycling? Is Trevor in Sweden?

Cyclists are road lice anyway…now some are resorting to degradation to get off on cycling.

Motorists beware, filthy masturbating cyclists on the prowl.

Swedish police are on the hunt for a man who likes bicycles a little too much.

Fed up that someone was slashing his tyres, cyclist Per Edstrom set up a camera outside his home and caught the bike molester red-handed.

Footage from Mr Edstrom’s camera shows a hooded man cutting open a tyre and then pleasuring himself as the tyre deflates.

Mr Edstrom told Swedish paper Kv√§llsposten: “My girlfriend finds it all a little concerning; you never know if he has checked her out in some way, and whether it is a picture of her he has in his hand when he is masturbating.

“This man is probably completely harmless, bicycles are just his thing. I am not scared of him, but mostly irritated over all the punctures I have had to fix.”

Police in the city of Osterlund believe Edstrom’s bike-lover could be linked to a series of similar crimes in the area five years ago.

Back then a 35-year-old man was arrested for allegedly slashing the tyres of 20 bikes and masturbating over their saddles.

Tagged:

The day the Earth stopped mast…. what?

If god did not want us to masturbate, he would have made our arms shorter, surely?

If god did not want us to masturbate, he would have made our arms shorter, and not given us opposable thumbs, surely?

Richard Dawkins visits a anti-masturbation course:

There are two types of people in the world…wankers and liars. So come on you liars now that you know that wanking is the devils work…how about a little poll to find out how much lying you’ve been doing:¬† Read more »

“She” is a dud root

Cactus Kate blogs about person who writes to Wendyl Nissen, of all people, for sex advice:

Wendyl then has a go at hot young chicks and suggests because “Confused” called herself “very pretty” and has “a great body” that she has a too high opinion of herself in the looks department. Nonsense.

1. No woman in their twenties or thirties writes into a woman’s magazine they can share with their mother and calls themselves “very pretty”. Maybe someone in their forties or fifties uses that term but come on? Hot? Babe? Gorgeous?

2. Even if the letter is bona fide, the reason that a woman this hot cannot get the man to come back even a second time before her texts are not answered is, lets face it, she is not giving head or if she is appalling at it.

3. Don’t women have enough body issues? Lets take this rare youngster confident enough to say she looks good, down a peg or two for daring to rate herself.

Summary of all that…the “person” who wrote to Wendyl Nissen is a dud root. Next.

Wendyl then gives a namby pamby answer about the man being threatened by sex toys.

The above is a ridiculous scenario. It just would not happen.

No straight man would worry about their wife having sex toys. He would be delighted and be online within seconds suggesting more. He is either gay and doesn’t want her to know it by enjoying another dick in the bed or she purchased a dildo larger than his member and he’s got stage fright. As for his reaction, they¬†all¬†bought the toys. Why didn’t he think they all thought their husbands were crap in bed?

Could be worse, he might like gobbling cock himself, of his best mate, after¬†the¬†missus has gone to bed, in the lounge. Still moaning about the missus having some sex toy…definitely gay…in the lame sense of the word.

Bottom line, I reckon these letters are autobiographical…and self sourced. Does Wendyl have a belly button ring?