Michele Hewitson

Hewitson on Shearer

Michele Hewitson has done a column on David Shearer and I get the impression that she isn’t impressed. I suspect that Michele simply had nothing to work with, so bland is David Shearer.

He said, seriously: “I am what I am.”

I’m afraid that made me laugh my head off, because who says that? And what the hell does it mean? But, later, after spending an hour and a half with him, and after having transcribed that hour and a half, I concluded that he’s probably absolutely right. It’s one way of saying what you see is what you get, whatever that means. But I still think he should never say it again; it’s seriously awful.

That is Michele’s way of saying “I’ve got nothing”.

Shearer though has manged to kill off the carefully crafted back-story created by campaign supremo Conor Roberts:

He knows the value of a good back story. He says the PM has a good one: “rags to riches.” His might be even better: did he really save 50 million lives? That Key went overseas and made 50 million dollars and he went overseas and saved 50 million lives was a line doing the rounds during the leadership battle with David Cunliffe (they get on terribly well, of course, and of course there is no animosity – I should have known better than to have asked.)

The answer is “no”. Well, where did it come from then? “I don’t know! You’re the journo!” All right, how many lives did he save? Any? “Um. Not personally!” That made the journo laugh immoderately, which made him just the tiniest bit defensive, the journo thought.

He told me a longish story about working for Save the Children in Somalia and heading a team feeding 30,000 starving children. “So when you look back on your life and you think these people who would now be in their 20s are alive because of the work we did … Which is pretty neat.” That’s a nice story, of course it is. I was sorry to have to be a journo but I had a not-so nice follow-up question: is that better than going overseas and making $50 million, did he think? He gave me a look which was more Helen than Phil. He said: “I don’t know. Now, that’s not right. That’s not a fair comparison.”

I guess we won’t be hearing much more about that back-story.

Is he nice, or nicer than Phil? “He’s a very nice man.” But is he nicer than him? He said I’d have to ask Phil, which obviously I’m not going to do. So I’ll answer my own question like this: after an interview with Goff I got a sweet little peck on the cheek; from his successor I got another of his handshakes.

Comparisons, if not odious, are not terribly helpful, and I hadn’t set out to make quite so many. But he’s hard to fix in your mind. I can’t quite work out why.

Again Michele is teling us that after an hour and half she got nothing except her hands crushed. And then we find out that Michele is an avid reader of Cactus Kate:

Everyone used to bang on about how good-looking Key was, which I never understood. I’ll stick my neck out and say that Shearer is better looking (if it matters and it may), although not in any flashy way, and certainly not in any way that translates to the telly. And I bet he doesn’t turn up at another event with his shirt unbuttoned as he did at the Big Gay Out.

He said, slightly snippily, that it was a hot day and that he does get around on hot days with his shirt unbuttoned. That just made it worse, I said. He said he probably wouldn’t do it again: “Now that you’ve told me.”

Michele Hewitson will be disappointed with that article, but given the clay she was given to mould it was the best she could do.

 

Whaleoil Redux 2010

In 2010 I created following chaos and mayhem:

  • Uploaded a video to Youtube which then made the news and went on to have more than 440,000 views.

Ned Flanders and Peter Goodfellow

Apparently I have dead eyes

Warning: Vanity Post.

I made Michele Hewitson’s Best of 2010.

A text arrived from Cameron Slater – the firebrand blogger who could start a fight in an empty brown paper bag, and often does, and who has the deadest eyes I’ve ever seen. He said I’d misquoted him. He had called somebody (who I didn’t name, for obvious reasons) a “corpse fiddler”. Or so I had reported. His text message read: “I said corpse cuddler. I always use alliteration.” This is the one occasion on which I wish I had misquoted somebody: The correction would have been a cracker. Alas, I was right – on quite possibly the only occasion on which Slater had to admit, and with good humour, that he was wrong.

To quote Farrar…heh!

Me, Today…and yesterday

Photo from Michele Hewitson interview, Photo / Paul Estcourt

Photo from Michele Hewitson interview, Photo / Paul Estcourt

Warning vanity post.

Today Michele Hewitson did one of her famous feature articles on me. Michele Hewitson Interview : Cameron Slater

I’ve seen a lot of hand-wringing about her articles and a great deal of angst, but I don’t think people get what Michele is about. Her articles aren’t meant to be deep meaningful, nitty-gritty issues discovery sessions that people think they should be. They are quirky and she sets out to reveal the people behind the mask, so to speak.

I found the the whole process enjoyable, well as enjoyable as it can be suffering hyper-vigilance in a cafe, and exhaustion from a week with an average of 3 hours sleep a night. Michele picked up my utter exhaustion, she described my eyes which give away my depression, my exhaustion and my state of being.

That said Michele can sniff fear and she also has an uncanny ability to disarm you, which is why people usually cop a flogging in her articles. Even Brian Edwards is afraid of her…I’m not and still am not, plus I have had a policy of not hiding anything. I reckon she did a great job with a poor subject.

Meanwhile online I was Question 3 in the online Stuff Daily Trivia Quiz.

Stuff online Quiz Question eaturing Whaleoil/Cameron SlaterThe pinko lap-bloggers of Labour at The Standard are upset too, that is always good. I’m wondering when they will realise that being, in their own minds at least, the online anonymous versions of NZPA and Red Radio is boring, and no-one but their own echo chamber is listening. The point I make is that it is them talking about me and not the other way round.

The same goes for creepy little comedians on Red Radio. Hey dickhead, you are talking about me (is it just me is but isn’t this radio show just utter shite), apparently though I am the blogger who shall not be named, the Voldemort of the blogsphere. Even Lianne Dalziel thinks I’m The Blogger Who Shall Not Be Named, as she got all bent out of shape in a slect committee. Now this is hugely funny, because they both prove my point in that keeping a secret, telling everyone that there is a secret just makes people want to know what that secret is. I’ve never heard of Jeremy Elwood….but I just bet he is a mate of Jamie Linehan….which is why he will be upset about my stance on name suppression….and we know then what that makes him.

Cartoon murder plot

Dane, Tunisians arrested in cartoonist murder plot – 13 Feb 2008 – NZ Herald: World / International News

A Danish citizen of Moroccan descent and two Tunisians were arrested in Denmark on Tuesday over a plot to murder one of 12 cartoonists whose drawings of the Prophet Mohammad caused worldwide uproar in 2006.

According to Jyllands-Posten, the newspaper that originally published the cartoons in September 2005, the suspects are accused of planning to kill 73-year-old Kurt Westergaard.
He drew the cartoon that caused the most controversy, depicting the founder of Islam with a bomb in his turban.

The paper reproduced that drawing on its website on Tuesday.

I republish that cartoon in solidarity with Kurt Westergaard.

For the attempted murderers, Pigs Be Upon ThemĀ 

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