I first met Mike King when he invited me as a guest on the Nutter’s Club…that night he threw me a curve ball…he asked me to fill in for him for 4 weeks as host.
I was thrown in the deep end, but it was an opportunity that I really appreciated. I still appreciate the trust he passed to me to take over his show for a few weeks when we had only really just met
It is no secret that Mike suffers depression…and we are lucky that he shares his trials and tribulations in defeating this evil affliction.
Mike covers many of the same things that I deal with on a day to day basis.
Also have a listen to him talk to Duncan Garner about this post from Facebook.
I have a confession to make, for the last few months I have been struggling with depression. At first I thought I was just having a few bad days and it would pass, but as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months things got worse. But here’s the thing, instead of recognising I had a problem, I thought everybody else was the problem. That’s the nature of depression. When you’re in it, it overwhelms you. Little by little it takes over, it dominates and then finally it suffocates you. I became highly sensitive and very negative. Other people’s looks and comments would be misinterpreted which led to frustration and anger, followed by regret, remorse and inevitably back to anger. A vicious cycle that kept repeating itself day in day out. And still I didn’t think I had a problem, “surely it was everyone else’s fault, after all I’m the one who’s getting hurt” was my reasoning. To cope I threw myself into my mahi, and when I wasn’t working I was painting, anything to keep myself busy, anything to stop that annoying voice in my head telling me I was useless.
The turning point came 4 weeks ago in Dunedin while I was filming a tv show with my good friend Dale Husband. Dale is one of those beautiful souls who sees the good in everything and everyone and likes nothing more than brightening people’s days with a kind word. Anyway we were standing in the Octagon getting ready for another full on day of filming when Dale started charming a group of locals and making them laugh. The first thought that popped in my head when I heard them was “oh for f•*k sake will you shut up! No one can be that happy all the time, surely?”
And that’s when the penny dropped. Within a millisecond of that thought popping in my head I said out loud to myself “you’ve got a problem and you need to get it sorted!”.
This was followed by the weirdest feeling in the world. On the one hand the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders as I took ownership of my situation. On the other hand I was overcome with emotion and guilt when I realised what a nightmare I must have put my loved ones through while fighting my demons. I remember seeing the apprehension in Jo’s eyes when I got back to the motel that night obviously wondering which Mike would be walking in the door and the relief when I asked her to make an appointment for me with the doctor “because I think I’ve got my depression back”. That’s when she hugged me and said “that’s a really good idea babe” but I knew in her head she was saying “thank f•*k for that” and rightly so.