Monty Python

Labour list “lacklustre”

The Dom Post editorial pulls no punches

Politicians who are past their use-by date rarely go voluntarily. And perhaps Labour leader David Cunliffe decided that a forced purge would simply be too damaging to a party that is already in trouble. Renewal can be another name for bloodbath, although National has managed to refresh its line-up without great strife. Perhaps renewal is easier in a party that is doing well.

So we are left with the current caucus dominating the winnable list, and a number of unimpressive MPs in constituency seats. These are of course more difficult to shift than list candidates who can simply be moved down the rankings. But someone should have tried harder to persuade Ruth Dyson to retire this time. The West Coast’s Damien O’Connor and Mangere’s Su’a William Sio similarly add no value to the Labour Party brand and should move on. Hutt South’s Trevor Mallard dresses up his decision not to seek a list place as a magnanimous gesture to help Kelvin Davis in the north. But Mallard’s is a solid working class seat and if he can’t win it for Labour he shouldn’t seek a lifeboat on the list.

Dysfunctional is the word to describe the Labour party.  They can’t shift the career troughers that are hogging the party’s safe seats.  Their list is populated and arranged by gender, sexual orientation and union balance.  Their new talent won’t even make it to parliament because they are too far down the list.

And to top it all off, there is a near vacuum of talent dragging everything towards an election oblivion.   Read more »

Photo Of The Day

Monty Python's Flying Circus, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones & Michael Palin vamp it up for the camera.

Members of Monty Python’s Flying Circus vamp for the camera in this April 1976 photo. From left to right: John Cleese, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Terry Jones.

This bloke would be a bettter MP than Rajan Prasad

In a case of life imitating art, in Indian they have the hindu equivalent of the dead parrot sketch from Monty Python…except it is a guru wot is not dead, ‘e’s restin’, or ‘e’s stunned.

The family and followers of one of India’s wealthiest Hindu spiritual leaders are fighting a legal battle over whether he is dead or simply in a deep state of meditation.

His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj, the founder of the Divya Jyoti Jagrati Sansthan religious order with a property estate worth an estimated £100 million, died in January, according to his wife and son.

However, his disciples at his Ashram have refused to let the family take his body for cremation because they claim he is still alive.    Read more »

And you thought getting rid of the army was a joke…

The other day I wrote about the suggestion from the Internet Party to abandon the GCSB and our long standing 50 year security relationships with the UK, USA, Australia and Canada and additionally suggest that perhaps other parties might seek to disband the army.

One astute reader pointed out that a policy such as that is already Green party policy.

Not only do they want to get rid of the SIS and GCSB, the ANZAC frigates, and anti-submarine warfare equipment, but they also want to get rid of the army and start ‘Investigating the development of civilian based defence where some citizens are trained to resist aggression or usurpation by withholding cooperation and by active non-cooperation rather than military force.’

So…if Labour and their support parties including the Greens take over, their master plan is to make us too annoying to invade?

Because we’ll act like stubborn and sullen 4th formers?   Read more »

Sunday nightCap

(Just to get us all fired up for another week of Nazi Internet Party fun!)

Bring out your dead! Life imitates art

Monty Python may well be satire, but sometimes life imitates art.

A funeral director in Mississippi got a bit of a shock this week when a man, brought to him in a body bag, kicked to get out just before he was to be embalmed, a local TV station reported.

“He was not dead, long story short,” funeral director Byron Porter told broadcaster WAPT late on Thursday.  Read more »

Back to work this week?

What if “Monty Python and The Holy Grail” would release in 2013?

He’s not the messiah, he’s just a very naughty boy

Duncan Garner reckons that David Cunliffe has a messiah complex.

Heavens above.

Jesus is back.

Did you see David Cunliffe’s launch for the Labour leadership yesterday?

I reckon he suffers from a messiah syndrome or complex.

What’s that?

It’s a ‘state of mind in which the individual holds a belief that they are, or are destined to become, a saviour.’

And you saw all those traits on offer yesterday.   Read more »

Gutted like a….snapper

You know things are dire for David Shearer when Jane Clifton suddenly bursts forth about just how tits David Shearer is. I’d say one of his main protectors has now quietly slipped off the Titanic after drilling holes in Shearer’s lifeboat.

Ever since Don Brash, visiting a boatyard during an election campaign, was filmed “walking the plank”, politicians have been extra careful about avoiding unfortunate symbolism.

Unaccountably, the Opposition leader’s office forgot this wise precaution yesterday.

Either that, or no-one could manage to dissuade David Shearer, seeking to illustrate a point about snapper quota, from producing two of the fish in Parliament yesterday.

The Government did not know which piscine wisecrack to go with first. They were, of course, dead fish. Necessarily, they were fish out of water – though at the same time, they were as good for target practice as fish in a barrel. Depending on how long they had now been out of water, they could also end up as cat food.

Mr Shearer’s senior benchmates reinforced this point by indicating playfully, but rather unhelpfully, that the fish were getting a bit whiffy.

Poignantly, though Mr Shearer’s staff had failed to protect him from the inevitable fish-related farce, he had come equipped with a paper towel roll to wipe his hands – though journalists at a subsequent press conference reported he still smelt fishy.

Prime Minister John Key sought leave for Mr Shearer to table the fish so he could get them cooked for his dinner. He had already made a meal of Mr Shearer.  Read more »