“Rise and Shine” – by Nike
“Rise and Shine” – by Nike
via the tipline
This Oscar Pistorius story is all a bit strange, isn’t it? There must definitely be more to it. He seemed so happy just the other day, he had such a spring in his step…
Yes, it was only minutes after Oscar Pistorius’s arrest that the jokes began … all taking the Pistorius.
His lawyer’s got a hard job ahead of him. Realistically, it looks like Pistorius hasn’t got a leg to stand on.
Oscar clearly misunderstood when his girlfriend told him that on Valentine’s Day he had to take her out.
Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty due to temporary diminished responsibility. He claims he was legless at the time of the incident.
Whatever happens in court, he still has a career. The IOC say he’s a front runner at the next Olympics for pistol shooting.
Police reconstruction indicates that Pistorius lost it when, for his Valentine’s Day gift, his girlfriend gave him a pair of socks.
New Valentine’s Day card: “Roses are red, violets are glorious. Never creep up On Oscar Pistorius.”
Too many Oscar Pistorius jokes already. Trying to come up with a new one is like taking a shot in the dark.
Looks like he has an expensive lawyer. I hope he can foot the bill.
Otherwise, the Oscar goes to……………………Jail !!
New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend’s murder……………. Footprints!
She didn’t notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs. Read more »
There is not much I enjoy about the Olympics and so here are seven techniques to use to change the topic whenever someone wants to bore you shitless talking about the Olympics.
Them: “So-and-so won a bronze medal!”
You: “That’s fascinating. Did you know bronze is composed of roughly 88 percent copper and 12 percent tin? Its melting point is about 1742 degrees Fahrenheit.”
Them: “I wonder how London’s dealing with the Olympics.”
You: “That’s fascinating. More fascinating is how London dealt with World War II aerial bombardment. Working people basically forced their way into the tube stations during the Blitz, where they slept on the platforms.”
Them: “Michael Phelps is amazing. I wonder how he’s gonna do this year.”
You: “That’s fascinating. Elizabeth Phelps, the NYU neuroscientist, has shown you can defuse and even erase fearful memories just by thinking about them in very specific ways.”
Them: “Danny Boyle is directing the Olympics opening ceremony!”
You: “That’s fascinating. He also once directed a short called Alien Love Triangle, which starred ‘Kenneth Branagh, Heather Graham, and Friends‘ Courtney Cox, who plays a male alien in a female body.’ It remains unreleased.”
Them: “In the medal race, I think China’s going to come out ahead.”
You: “That’s fascinating. Speaking of heads, the actress Hedy Lamarr also designed a secret communications system for the American war effort. It relied on frequency-hopping, which is now a key foundational technology for some cell phone networks like Sprint’s.”
Them: “Peter Sagan is a big underdog in the men’s road race. Still, I hope he wins the gold.”
You: “That’s fascinating. Carl Sagan put together a golden record for the Voyager spacecraft, which is about to become the first human made object to leave our frigging solar system. He included whale songs, Beethoven, Chuck Berry, thunder, greetings in a bunch of languages, and 116 images.”
Them: “Some athletes are wearing shoes that were 3D printed by Nike!”
You: “That’s fascinating. These guys 3D printed a gun.”
Phil Goff actually turned up for this policy launch and fronted with the sure fire vote winner Darien Fenton. I wonder what the Mad Butcher thinks of this policy.
What Darien wants is to take us back to the good old days of unions fighting massive battles with employers, grinding the country to a halt with lots of strikes where ideological unions fight battles against anyone who opposes their ideology. The problem is that there are so few union members left Darien has to impose defacto union membership on everyone by reintroducing National Awards, Centralised Wage Setting, and a Work Place Commission to tell employers what they have to pay and who they have to pay.
This is another policy that sucks air time from Labour’s campaign, appealing to their small group of union insiders rather than Waitakere Man and Woman who are a generation removed from unions and the ideological battles they wish they were still able to fight.
It certainly looks like Damien O’Connor was dead right when he talked about self serving unionists running Labour. Not only are they running Labour but also writing and dictating their policy.