I’ll spare you the detailed description on Barry Soper and Audrey Young’s mandatory buttock grabbing (you can read that here, if you really want), ¬†instead, picking up the story here:
I never thought anything could top Laila Harre’s 2002 defeat explanation with her “unfortunately the public voted with their heads”, but, by God, there’s been some serious challenges – notably from Laila herself.
Even the most hardened hacks were dumbstruck by her protest at allowing her boss into the country. But she was immediately trumped by Kim Dotcom himself, who agreed it was an outrage. If he feels that strongly then America – where he’s destined to end up anyway – will give him a big hello, plus free accommodation for a very long time, although decidedly smaller than his current abode.
Colin Craig continues to delight. Explaining away his nutty image, he instead cemented it by saying: “It was logical to platform off the rhetoric already being discussed.” Psychiatrists are banned from entering, but there’s a trip to Upper Volta for anyone making sense of that.
Having lost female voters after declaring New Zealand women promiscuous, Colin is now targeting homosexuals by an advertising campaign showing him lying in long grass with a come-hither look. Missing is a rose stem between his teeth.
To add to the madness, Labour’s normally sane Andrew Little, jealous of Trevor Mallard’s moa headlines, declared men charged with sex crimes will be automatically guilty unless they can prove their innocence.
Then to further alienate male voters, Labour’s serial apologiser leader chimed in, unbelievably apologising for being a man.
If you were writing a script, you’f be going: ¬†“no, too much, it’s starting to get to the point nobody would believe this could actually happen”. ¬†And yet… the current farce isn’t over yet!
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