Paul Holmes

Paul Holmes has a column in the NZ Herald today about the appalling media frenzy over an illegally recorded conversation between John Banks and John Key.

I don’t join lynch mobs and I don’t intend to now. For that’s what it’s been this week, a sanctimonious, high and mighty news media lynch mob baying for John Key’s blood.

…I would hold this view no matter who was talking, whether it was Phil Goff talking to the Greens or whoever. A private conversation is exactly that, private.

If John Banks had met John Key in the latter’s ninth-floor office and it was known a tape recording had been made of the meeting no one would be demanding the tape be released. It is absurd.

There is no suggestion that they were in any way conspiring to commit a crime. One or the other it is thought as I write this may have spoken derisively of the age of Winston Peters’ voters.

So what. Everyone speaks derisively of Winston Peters’ voters. We all know they’re the rump of Rob’s old mob and that Winston is their master manipulator.

This morning on NewstalkZB he talked with Kevin Milne of Fair Go fame about the same issue. Have a listen, well worth it.

NewstalkZb – Paul Holmes and Kevin Milne talk about the tea tapes by whaleoil

Paul Holmes outlines Phil Goff’s tragedy:

You can talk about policy until you’re blue in the face, but in the end I wonder if people vote on policy. I don’t think they do. Most people don’t give a rats about policy. If we like the leader we vote for him.

Except of course Phil Goff hasn’t talked policy at all, he has only shown us the nasty.

When Holyoake was National leader, we voted for Holyoake. When Kirk came along we voted for Kirk. When Muldoon came along, we voted for Muldoon.

Rowling had a silly voice, so people continued to vote for Muldoon.

The tragedy for Phil Goff was that when his time came, he’d been around too long and he’d been too many different things, projected too many hues depending on the vogue.

It’s not his fault. It’s the price of longevity. He does have a tendency to sound like the talking-book version of the documents he has to read, and there is a preachiness about him that the country has no time for.

Yep, no time at all. See ya Phil. The people will vote for a John Key led government.

Again it is up to Paul Holmes to explain:

Sometimes, it’s all in the little things. Goff might have apparently struck a blow by calling Key a liar.

But we all know all politicians tell the odd fib or withhold information, and we all know they have to make the decisions demanded when circumstances change.

For example, the GST.

But Key is still able to project the image of an honest, ordinary guy. And I think that is still what the market wants. I seem to remember that at one point he stood there with one hand in a trouser pocket, projecting a man at ease in his job.

And when called a liar, his reply that he would not call Goff a liar because he had too much respect for the office of leader of the Opposition was simply dignified.

Paul Holmes wrote a short form playbook for smacking up Phil Goff. Why it has taken them this long to play some of them is beyond me:

When a Labour leader, who had been in Parliament at a senior level in the fourth Labour government in the 1980s, comes along in 2011 and condemns even a partial sale of state assets, the National leader should surely turn round and remind him that he sold the assets in the first place – and sold them so completely that New Zealanders no longer have control and have to endure the rapaciousness of privatised Telecom for 30 years.

When a Labour leader gets stuck into the government for our presence in Afghanistan, then a gentle reminder of who put our SAS in there needs to be forthcoming, surely.

…When Goff spoke of the nobility and wisdom of removing GST on fresh fruit and vegetables, he needed to be reminded that for more than 20 years he was one of the Labour group who said it wouldn’t work and would be too confusing.

When, as late as July this year, Labour were on the record as being opposed to any raising of the age of retirement, and when David Parker admitted on Q&A on Sunday morning that the movement of the superannuation age to 67 had been decided only a fortnight before, Key could have suggested the politics of desperation.

This is why Labour’s message isn’t resonating. People remember that Phil Goff was a staunch defender of the policies he now rails against.

Paul Holmes explains why Phil Goff is losing:

If you don’t like someone for a year or more, you aren’t going to change your mind and vote for that person because they might be technically the stronger debater.

You could make the case that Goff was the stronger debater last Monday night. But did you notice the most telling result of the texts to the programme at the end of the debate? According to the texters, Key had won it handsomely.

Yesterday Paul Holmes had a column in the Herald on the Rugby World Cup.

On Len Brown taking the car to the Rugby:

By all accounts, the trains were overcrowded and brutal. No wonder there was a constant pushing of the emergency stop button. And with the clapped-out system completely out of its depth, and having spoken of little but trains for over a year, the mayor of Auckland took his car to Eden Park.

The mayor justified this by saying that he had to be there on time. Well, sorry Len, so did everyone else.

On Len Brown and his orgnaisation:

Brown has been entirely humiliated. He lost his power in one fell swoop. And so did all the bozos in Auckland governance who were supposed to be running things.

To be fair to Brown, he didn’t have a chance. All politicians rely on advice. The advice he got was inept. And no crowd projections were ever made, we learned this week. My God, people could have been crushed to death.

On Australia:

But last Sunday, I became very afraid and in that clash between Australia and Italy we saw some rugby genius. I felt I was watching a team that cannot be beaten in this tournament and I don’t mean Italy.

I felt the ferocious agility and speed of the Australian backs and their ability to find sudden clear air to run in tries shows that they are very much to be feared. Deans knew it too when he spoke afterwards. You could tell he knew it. It was all over his face. His boys are doing exactly what he wanted, to peak at the only time he ever has to beat New Zealand, once every four years. All the rest is frippery. Cunning Robbie Deans, patient Robbie Deans.

As I say, I was very frightened. I started phoning friends.

Hmmm…two out of three ain’t bad. I wonder fo your friends are phoning you back tonight to talk about Australia.

Is ‘P’ Holmes channeling The Whale:

No, Michael. Paralympics is not ludicrous. Going out to Howick and shagging a P addict on bail who’s called you up on the radio programme is ludicrous. Having the cops come round to your home because you’re being beaten up by your wife is ludicrous.

That is ‘P’ Holmes smashing up Michael Laws for his dribble about Paralympians. It is easily something that I could have written.

But seriously Michael Laws is becoming even more ludicrous if that was at all possible.

I was just watching Q+A today and saw P. Holmes to see how out of touch Howard Broad is with organised crime. While watching I thought WTF has happened to Holmes’ eye? I can’t believe they tried to cover THAT up.

It looks very sore and swollen, and closed up. Has he had the bash? If so from whom?

I bot that Bob Harvey mentioned a new gang out west called CYN (Check Your Nuts). Well if it is true they are operating out west then they better check their own nuts because they are probably a gnat’s whisker away from being emasculated by another much more wealthy gang. Then they can change their name to uNiKs.

Last word, isn’t Deborah Coddington a poisonous little bitch? The only one calling coup ion ACT is her.

Who has been beating on P Holmes

So a huge fuss was made about a big sky rocket, so much fuss that even Pork Chop was flown in by Heli-crane.

From the moment I boarded the chopper at Mechanics Bay on Sunday with my friend Paul Holmes and Labour MP David Shearer, it was the sentiment most often repeated.

Ok so we know that is a lie right there as there is no way a chopper could have taken off with all that weight on board let alone adding David Shearer and Paul Holmes.

The interesting thing here though is that David Shearer was going along for the trip to Mercury Island. Now that is some way from Mt Albert so either David Shearer has a fetish for rockets and was looking at ways of integrating them into his plan for a privatised NZ Army or there was something else behind his trip to the Island.

Of course they were all going to Sir Michael Fay’s place, Pork Chop’s good friend (yeah right), so perhaps that is the real interesting part of the story that has been missed.

Sir Michael has been known to be a good, good friend of Labour in the past, could it be perhaps that he is financing David Shearers bid to take over from Goff when the time is right?

Sir Michael Fay famously had a brass plaque on his desk in his Auckland Office that said “Nothing for Nothing, Fuck you”.

One wonders what the something for something is?  Because clearly David Shearer didn’t get the fuck you part otherwise he wouldn’t have been there.

Interesting times ahead all.

Greens link election support to three questions – NELSON – The Green Party has laid down a challenge to National and Labour to answer three key questions before the next election and says the answers to these will influence where its support might go.Green Party co-leader Jeanette… [NZ Politics]

And those questions don't seem too hard to answer. The proof will be in the Greens committment to overcome their Communistic core to actually achieve meaningful dialogue with National.