Pork Chop

Ding Dong the Pork Chop is….moving on up?

I heard via the tipline that she earned another nickname after the Metro photoshoot….”Beanbag”. Here is a more appropriate picture

Awesome a marzipan pig. I hear Rachel posed for this and I think the sculpter has capture the look. Merry Christmas.

Paparazzi superstar Simon “Porkchop” Runting made an arse of himself this afternoon being the world’s least discreet paparazzi photographer.

Today he didn’t even find bush and blazingly stood taking pics for his master The Pork Chop.

Problem is he was so slow, he got papped first.

Simon Runting papped again

This is now the second time this blog has papped Runting.

Surely this makes him the most #biwinning cameraman in the world.

Models look out at Fashion Week, imagine Runting coming at you in the changing room?

I wonder who has been talking out of school to Pork Chop.

One thing is for sure, Trevor is going to feel the pain when I kick his arse come August 15.

As loyal readers will know, the Whale despises just three people, Pork Chop, Andrew Williams and Winston Raymond peters, 65, pensioner of Helensville.

Today we get the Quinella. Pork Chop and the Clown of Campbells Bay, except this time it is actually the Cock of Campbells Bay. The Cock is back.

Like I say for my campaign slogan, My decisions won’t be influenced by Jim, Jack or Johnny, now I can add or Woody.

The Cock of Campbells Bay

Hard to beat this one. Is that Pork Chop sitting at the front of the stage?

The Whale does the watching so you don’t have to.

Pork Chop buying a Salad?

People in glasshouses should not throw stones. While hottie Alison Mau’s had a bad week after a disgusting piece of “repeating” last Sunday, a certain member of the Royal Family of Fatty Pork in Auckland should be sweating chunks at his (much) bigger sister’s disgusting behaviour as it’s opened up a large can of worms and now people are talking. Quite how she reconciles the name of her PR company (Pink PR) with her assault on the GLTB community is hard to understand.

Gotcha! has been provided with the sauciest of tipoffs from a source close to the gay and lesbian community alleging certain behaviour round town of Henry Glucina, brother of Pork Chop. In the interest of Mau fairness to the way sexy Ali was treated, I’ve decided not to bother contacting him so he can inform his family but to publish it.

Dear Henry it is alleged by the “in” crowd in Auckland is in his own marriage of (in)convenience at the bequest of a desperate Mummy looking for a heir to the family anti-fortune.

Yes Henri would much rather be singing Opera with a big strong dark-boy at the lustfully heterosexually named leaky establishment called “Mollies”.

Instead he did the decent Croatian thing and got married.

How sad, too bad….never mind. GLBT Community 1, Pork Chop 0.

1. Do the Judge and Doctor belong to the same Lodge?
2. Do the Judge and the Doctor play at the same Golf club?
3. Does the Judge share an interest with the Doctor?
4. Tennis maybe?
5. Tiddlywinks?
6. Or is it just a professional courtesy from one closed shop to another?
7. Surely he would have recused himself?
8. Anyone heard from Silent T this year?
9. What is happening with the Bill Liu case?
10. Its nearly been two years, should it take that long?
11. Who really is Phil Goff?
12. Why did so many “names” go bankrupt in October?
13. Isn’t Ali so much hotter now she bats for the other team?
14. Ali Mau or Pork Chop?
15. Definitely Ali, right?
16. Actually who would go with Pork Chop?
17. Is Brooke Two-Fathers the new Ricardo for Pork Chop

Gotcha! and WOBH  have been leaked these exclusive emails between Herald on Sunday staffers Rachel “Pork Chop” Glucina and Carolyne “Minger” Meng-Yee.

Minger; Yo Pork? Nice column today, fucking loved it sister. Irish needs a peg down. Dang chick too hot at present.

Pork: yep twas a good one Mum and Henri loved it, took us three hours to write but (Richard) Worth it baby! We run Aucks.

Minger; yep but next time you are at my house make sure you leave the door open. Mike’s having trouble getting past the fold out to the bedroom. Big jumpn. Pulled hammy last time, out of action for 3 weeks. You know how much I like Valentine’s Day. Comin up. He still brings home da bacon and you like eatin’ it. Cool.

Pork; cool as beatch. Drew had issues parking in the garage, bit hard to get by the wheelie bins. May have knocked neighbourz ova. Sorry.

Minger; you reckon I could be the new HOS editor? They rckon B1 is in running, fark Drinnan interview da keyboard. He’s ed I’m in for chop aren’t I?

Pork: well Drew’s trying hard beatch as Shayne was so good 2 us, liked the chocolate cakes, Valentine’s got me dat new show on TVNZ. Peaking baby. We r hot. Today HOS 2moro da TV. Promise to look afta u gfriend. Stick close, I’m on up!

Minger; heard anything from Mollies lately about town?

Pork: Nah, not since H’s got it up the chook from Jack. Saza to shut it about town, not good about the 8′s. They visited last week.

Minger; oh, ok den. Cool az. Don’t wanna upset Holmesy, bit bad bout the carpark thing, who da fuck is dis Whaleoil?

Pork: no worries, I will sort him out Chopping style. Andre Giant and all. Fuck ‘em. Tracking his facebook.

Minger; so who ya doing l8ly baby? Sure in ur powa u could get a man?

Pork: I rckon Brooke is in4 it lately baby. Needs the pubz now he’s in retail. I thought he owned da bar?

Minger; yep good story there. I reckon Val. Day we need a catch up. Come round, tell Drewsta to pick you up at 10. Have friends over for the Valentine so need to be on B. behaviour.

Pork: O for it keep it coming, high five for low rise. Mike’s a sweetie really, u r so lucky. Keep it comin’

Minger: reckon Ali’s up for it! Fark. Chicks for life, if she’s hopping it I tell you what, Mike V’s on kerb. I’d put leg ova!!

Pork: yep, she’s got great legs, I’d be up for it! Who wouldn’t turn da curner for dat?

Minger: l8r. Shakespeare Wed 8pm!xxx

Pork: yep c u there.xxx”