Same-sex marriage

Research would certainly seem to indicate this, which finds that same-sex unions are happier than heterosexual marriages. What can gay and lesbian couples teach straight ones about living in harmony?

It is more than a little ironic that gay marriage has emerged as the era’s defining civil-rights struggle even as marriage itself seems more endangered every day. Americans are waiting longer to marry: according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the median age of first marriage is 28 for men and 26 for women, up from 23 and 20, respectively, in 1950. Rates of cohabitation have risen swiftly and sharply, and more people than ever are living single. Most Americans still marry at some point, but many of those marriages end in divorce. (Although the U.S. divorce rate has declined from its all-time high in the late ’70s and early ’80s, it has remained higher than those of most European countries.) All told, this has created an unstable system of what the UCLA sociologist Suzanne Bianchi calls “partnering and repartnering,” a relentless emotional and domestic churn that sometimes results in people forgoing the institution altogether.  Read more »

The Poms are clearly not as enlightened as us Kiwis. David Cameron facing a defeat in the House of Commons over gay marriage.

David Cameron is facing the prospect of another defeat in the Commons over his plans to legalise gay marriage.

More than 100 Conservatives are said to be ready to back a “wrecking” amendment to the same-sex marriage Bill that could cost the Treasury £4 billion.

If enough Labour and Liberal Democrat MPs also support the amendment – which would open up civil partnerships to heterosexual couples for the first time – then Mr Cameron’s plans will be in jeopardy.

The amendment, proposed by Tim Loughton, a former Tory minister who opposes same-sex marriage, will be backed by many Labour MPs, opposition sources said.

The Liberal Democrats are known to support such a reform.  Read more »

Last night New Zealand became the 13th country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage.

A bill to legalise same-sex marriage has passed into law after its third reading in Parliament tonight, after months of emotional debate, parliamentary submissions, and passionate protests from people on either side of the issue.

New Zealand has become the 13th country in the world to enshrine marriage equality in law.

I am proud to have played my part in the passing of this bill into law. Here are some of the speeches from my friends made last night.

John Banks:

Read more »

Kevin Hague blogs about the words both for and against marriage equality that he received in correspondence.

The debate over Louisa Wall’s marriage equality bill has been raging for almost a year now, and I have received thousands of emails and letters, as well as having read many thousands of submissions during the Select Committee process…

We looked for a graphic way of representing this contrast, and used a “sample” of all the correspondence that arrived in my office over a particular time to create word clouds. It’s not science. It’s not discourse analysis. But it makes the point.  Read more »

Marriage Equality is good for tourism:

Business traffic usually goes heavily one way across the Tasman, but with the imminent passing of New Zealand’s gay marriage bill, thousands of same-sex Australian couples are expected to make the trek in the other direction.

After a landslide vote in favour of the Marriage Amendment Bill at its second parliamentary reading last month, the law is expected to pass on its third reading, which could be as early as this month.

For New Zealander Tabitha Huntley and her Australian partner, Sonia Guzzardi, the move delivers the chance for a legitimate wedding close to home, surrounded by friends and family.

“We want to have a nice wedding,” Huntley said. “Basically, because we can.  Read more »

Jeremy Irons uses the gayest excuse yet to oppose gay marriage.

Jeremy Irons, the Oscar-winning actor, has provoked outrage by suggesting that same sex marriage laws could allow fathers to marry their sons to avoid paying inheritance tax.

He also expressed fears that the battle for equal rights could “debase” marital law.

The 64-year-old said he “doesn’t have a strong feeling either way” on gay marriage but suggested it could be manipulated to allow fathers to pass on their estates to their sons without being taxed.

He said: “Could a father not marry his son?”  Read more »

Many of the opponents of marriage equality cite that the basis of marriage is for procreation. Yet when asked to explain how marriage is allowed for infertile couple or for senior citizens and they can’t procreate, they then resort to discussion over having the necessary equipment…and other useless arguments.

The Supreme Court in the US looked as precisely this issue…and finds the arguments of the opponents wanting.

The central criticism of same-sex marriage revolved around procreation; that the purpose of marriage is to produce offspring. These critics faltered when asked about infertile couples or senior citizens who get married. If this were a serious basis for policy, the best enforcement mechanism would be fertility tests before granting marriage licenses.

Justice Samuel Alito worried that the question is just too new, that mobile phones and the Internet have been around longer. Same-sex marriages have only been legal anywhere for less than a decade, though gay and lesbian couples have been living together, some with adopted children, for ages. The woman who brought the case against the federal law had been with her now-deceased female spouse since 1967.

Chief Justice John Roberts said proponents were showing inconsistency with their dual claims that children of same-sex marriages fare as well as others and that legal recognition is necessary for the welfare of these kids.  Read more »

Matt McCarten writes in the Herald on Sunday about marriage equality:

Inflicting marriage on gay couples is a foregone conclusion in this country and in other civilised secular countries.

Heh, everyone deserves a mother in law.

In the United States, 63 per cent of people now support same-sex marriages. Even the Mormon Church, which has funded large anti-gay marriage campaigns, has quietly given up its fight.

New Zealanders have always been more liberal than people in other countries. So it was a shock that two recent polls showed support for marriage equality was decreasing.

Supporters of MP Louisa Wall’s campaign for a law change blame the latest numbers on a late misinformation campaign organised by churches.

It won’t matter, it’s a done deal.  Read more »

Commenters on this blog, like Andrei and Lucia, and in general who oppose marriage equality always use the “procreation” argument to oppose marriage equality. They say it is un-natural, that gays can’t breed, and therefore there shouldn’t be marriage for “them”.

When challenged about infertile couples or indeed older couples and their right to marry they gloss voer the argument or ignore it entirely.

Tom Junod takes their approach personally and quite rightly objects:

I have been married for 28 years. I met my wife in my freshman year of college. We started dating in my second semester, and have been so exclusive that we celebrate the anniversary of our first kiss rather than our wedding day. We met in our late teens; we are now in our mid-50s, and continue, with high hearts, the lifetime project of enduring the certainty of temporary hardship in order to keep alive the possibility of sustained joy. Though not regular churchgoers, we believe in marriage the way others believe in God, as something worthy of faith, commitment and sacrifice — indeed, as a provision that God has made for the happiness of all his mortal creatures. We have never thought of our marriage as anything but pleasing to anyone who cared to judge it, and have never imagined that the sanctity of our marriage might threaten the sanctity of other marriages, not to mention the institution of marriage itself.

Until now.

What has changed our understanding of the way some people see our marriage is, of course, the general debate unleashed by the last two days of argument before the Supreme Court on the subject of same-sex marriage. No, my wife and I are not of the same sex; I am a man and she is a woman. But we are infertile. We did not procreate. For the past nine years, we have been the adoptive parents of our daughter; we are legally her mother and father, but not biologically, and since Tuesday have been surprised and saddened to be reminded that for a sizable minority of the American public our lack of biological capacity makes all the difference — and dooms our marriage and our family to second-class status.  Read more »

Andrew Sullivan appears on Charlie Rose to discuss same-sex marriage. Here are some excerpts of his appearance.

You can watch the full Charlie Rose show here.