Scott Yorke

Scott Yorke at Imperator Fish has a good post about the bullshit response of the media and assorted lackeys of the left to John Key’s rather factual statement about the possibility of Kiwi troops seeing action should the idiot dictator of North Korea decide to throw his toys.

It must be the day for it. Government appointments to new roles start today so why not some announcements.

Keeping Stock published Martyn Bradbury‘s press release announcing that Kiwiblog, Whaleoil, Keeping Stock and Home Paddock will now be syndicating our feeds to The Daily Blog in order to provide some balance.

Scott Yorke also announces some big news.

People who read my posts will know I have not been an uncritical supporter of the Labour Party. The party has struggled from one blunder to the next, and this tendency towards self-injury has driven much of the ongoing speculation about David Shearer’s leadership. Many of us have looked on in dismay as Labour tears itself apart, and more than a few of us have found ourselves questioning our choice of party.   Read more »

Scott Yorke has some great suggestions for Labour to actually improve question without resorting to dummy spits:

So what should Labour and the Greens do? Here are some options.

Do a no-show

Just don’t turn up to the next Question Time.

For: Everyone in Labour and the Greens would feel a buzz for a few minutes. It would get the attention of the media.

Against: John Key would crow about how scared Labour and the Greens are. The media would award Key the win, and raise fresh questions about the leadership capabilities of David Shearer. If he can’t handle a few barbs during question time, how would he cope during an election debate?  Read more »

Commenters have gone on and on about David Carter being useless. He is a list MP, he did nothing as minister and is being mocked for being useless as a speaker.

David Carter is a useless scum list MP. He lost his seat to Ruth Dyson and never regained it. His ministerial career was un-memorable apart from consistently lying about the One Plan Decision, and he is has failed to hold ministers to account in a way that makes question time meaningless.

At first reading I thought I was looking at a transcript of parliament yesterday, and then I realised that Scott Yorke at Imperator Fish had actually written a parody.

David Shearer: Thank you Mr Speaker, my question now to the Minister of State Owned Enterprises: Has the Government met the five criteria the Prime Minister laid out for proceeding with asset sales?

Tony Ryall: Blue cheese.  Read more »

At first reading I thought I was looking at a transcript of parliament yesterday, and then I realised that Scott Yorke at Imperator Fish had actually written a parody.

David Shearer: Thank you Mr Speaker, my question now to the Minister of State Owned Enterprises: Has the Government met the five criteria the Prime Minister laid out for proceeding with asset sales?

Tony Ryall: Blue cheese.

Shearer: Point of order, Mr Speaker. What kind of answer was that?

Mr Speaker: The minister answered the question. He may not have given the answer you wanted, but he nevertheless gave an answer. Do you have any supplementary questions?

Shearer: When the Prime Minister said that the third criterion would be that companies would need to present good investment opportunities for investors, with which international investors had the Prime Minister had discussions that have yet to be made public?

Ryall: The capital of Hungary is Budapest. The capital of Romania is Bucharest.

Shearer: Point of order! Mr Speaker, shouldn’t the minister at least make some effort to answer the question? My question was not directed to European capitals.

Mr Speaker: The member well knows that matters of geography are directly relevant to the question. The member has asked questions about international investors, and some of those investors may well be from Hungary or Romania.

Shearer: But Mr Speaker—

Mr Speaker: I have ruled on the matter. Does the member have any supplementary questions?

The sad thing though about David Carter’s inept speakership is that he is still better than Margaret Wilson ever was. The only funny party about the travesty the speakership now resembles is the wailing from the left that the Speaker is no longer fair and impartial…two words: Margaret Wilson. Though it would be tempting to tell the left to suck it up, I don’t think a useless speaker does anyone any favours in the long run.

I don’t think that Carter is helping things. Scott kind of nails it with this…probably more true than parody:

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Scott Yorke blogs about the mysterious ‘Beige Badger’, a blogger and commenter who lurks around blogs. The Standard have banned this strange beast, lPrent set a deliberate bait and switch to get him focussed on Martyn’s new project since his real estate efforts faltered…should we be worried about the Beige Badger?

By night he is a harmless and mild-mannered man, but by day he takes on a new persona.

A hero to many, Pete George patrols the nation’s blogsites, stifling any hint of strongly held opinion by laying down a solid suppressing fire of derailing comments.

His tireless efforts in front of his computer have earned George the sobriquet The Beige Badger, as well as the gratitude of dozens of grey-haired, cardigan-wearing blog readers.

To many people Pete George is a genuine superhero, keeping New Zealand’s blogsites focused on nothing much in particular.  Read more »

Scott Yorke at Imperator Fish has some advice for those who are struggling to believe the constant run of rogue polls, especially Labour types like Meg.

Here are his ten reasons for Labour not to worry about polls:

1. That’s not what I’m hearing when I’m out and about talking to ordinary people.
2. Something or other about how fixed phonelines skew the results.
3. While the last few polls have show a downward trend, the long-term trend is positive. If you ignore all the data since about 2007, which has basically just been noise, you can see that Labour is doing okay.  Read more »

After burying the hatchet with real estate blogger Martyn Bradbury it was only a matter of time until Imperator Fish blogger Scott Yorke found another blogger to torment to an eating disorder.

He has issued a fatwa against Andrew Geddis…one I am tempted to join…since Andrew cannot and will not mention my name or the name of my blog.

It is all very Wogistani but extremely entertaining:

Blogger Scott Yorke today issued a “fatwa” against Otago University academic Professor Andrew Geddis.

Mr Yorke said he had issued the edict to “take my revenge on that dirty thief.”

Yorke said he had been forced to act after Geddis stole one of his blogpost ideas.  Read more »

Scott at Imperator Fish has had the creative juices flowing again, and penned a nice one.  Scott Yorke is perhaps the best left wing blogger in the country right now.

Guest columnist Richard Prosser has some great ideas on how to make your flight a more enjoyable and comfortable experience

Always carry a knife: You never know when one of those stone-age religion types might decide to sit next to you.

Take a good book. You need something to while away the hours, and nothing beats a good read.

Anything will do, provided it isn’t one of them learning books.

Sit near the back: The terrorists always take the front seats, because the only way they can hijack the plane is to storm the cockpit. You’re better off staying well to the rear, where you can organise countermeasures quietly and without being noticed.

If the terrorists do manage to take the plane down, you’re more likely to survive if you’re sitting at the back.

[snip]

That’s all I’m going to give you, head over to Scott’s blog and read the rest.

Scott Yorke is perhaps the best left wing blogger in the country right now. He takes a satirical look at John Key’s reshuffle:

The biggest winner is Dr Nick Smith. He returns to Cabinet after his fall from grace last year, and is appointed as Minister for Creating a Perception of Crisis in Order to Justify Savage Cutbacks in Entitlements.

Dr Smith’s interest in resource issues has also resulted in his appointment as Minister for Exploiting High Political Office for the Benefit of Friends.

Steven Joyce remains Minister for Economic Development, Minister of Science and Innovation, Minister for Tertiary Education, Skills and Employment, and Associate Minister of Finance. A new super-ministry is to be created to encompass these various portfolios, and will be called the Ministry of Squashing Ambition and Innovation at their Conception (MOSAIC).

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