Simon Cowell

This made Simon Cowell cry

Via the Tipline

Pope Idol

VATICAN-RELIGION-POPE-COMBO

Time to drag the Catholic Church into the 21st Century with reality TV, live Twittering and, you guessed it from the title, Pope Idol.

We don’t have to get rid of the white smoke – it can still be done when the final winner is announced, but the weekly battles for your votes will be what makes the difference.

Thing is, we’re going to need to appoint three or four celebrity judges.

That’s where you come in.

Suggest who you think would make an awesome celebrity judge for Pope Idol, and once we’ve got the whole thing sorted, I’ll contact Simon Cowell and see if he’s happy to license this world-wide.

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Who You Are

Watch Simon Cowell choke (8:05):

Simon Cowell all choked up? Hard to believe, but the famously hard-hearted judge got misty-eyed after watching X-Factor contestant Jillian Jensen audition on the talent show.

The 20-year-old Massachusetts native sang Jessie J’s “Who You Are” during a round of auditions, which aired Wednesday night.

“That was incredible,” Cowell says, while holding back tears. (Go to the 8:05 mark in the YouTube video above to see his reaction). Record executive L.A. Reid, pop star Britney Spears and singer Demi Lovato, who also sit on the judges’ panel, echoed his praise.

What a waste of money

Public arts and culture funding to the tune of $1.6 million will partly pay for the New Zealand’s Got Talent reality television series.

Developed by Simon Cowell, the series is famous for discovering unlikely star Susan Boyle in the British series. It will screen on TV One.

Government agency New Zealand On Air said its support was a smart use of the public purse.

Chief executive Jane Wrightson said it was a “wonderful opportunity for many types of New Zealand performers to entertain a nationwide audience”.

Oh great we are going to search for our very own Susan Boyle. Give me strength.

If it was such a good idea a commercial station would have purchased the rights and made money from it.

Iran bans mullets

I am not sure what Iranian westies and assorted bogans will be asking for at the hair dresser, but it just goes to show how dangerous a theocracy is when it puts it mind to it.

Iran bans MulletsIn an attempt to rid the country of “decadent Western cuts”, Iran’s culture ministry has produced a catalogue of haircuts that meet government approval.

Several barber shops have reportedly been shut down and penalised in recent years for offering Western-style haircuts.

The list of banned styles includes ponytails, mullets and elaborate spikes. However,quiffs appear to be acceptable, as are fashioning one’s hair in the style of Simon Cowell or cultivating a 1980s-style floppy fringe.
Most of the models are clean-shaven although one picture features a man with a goatee beard, previously frowned upon by Iran’s conservative clerics. Using hair gel is also within the law, albeit in modest quantities.

The “journal of Iranian hairstyles approved by the ministry of [culture and Islamic] guidance” was previewed at a government-approved hairdressing show in Tehran.

The pictures were reminiscent of those gracing barber shop windows across Britain.

“The proposed styles are inspired by Iranians’ complexion, culture and religion, and Islamic law,” said Jaleh Khodayar, who is in charge of a Modesty and Veil Festival later this month at which the guide will be promoted.

“We are happy that the Islamic republic of Iran’s government has backed us in designing these hairstyles.”

I didn’t see Dpf’s cut anywhere there either

Wed Wussellll to stand in Mt Albert

Russel Norman has announced that he will be standing for the Greens in Mt Albert. This is a brilliant strategy by the Greens to finally break free from the moniker that they are Labour’s bitches.

Perhaps the best commentary on this is this comment at Farrar’s troll farm;

davidp (536) Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1   Says:

If the people of Mt Albert voted Green, the government should build a giant fence around the electorate. No cars would be allowed through the fence, only buses powered by biodiesel grown locally. Only electricity from windmills would be sent in to the electorate, meaning that residents would spend 12 hours a day sitting in the dark as if they were “celebrating” Earth Hour. Check points would confiscate anyone trying to import normal lightbulbs, non-organic food, chocolate, or anything else that is even remotely fun. And residents would be tattooed clearly to identify them so that they would be refused service when they popped out of the electorate to eat a burger or pizza.

What is it called when….

The Government you support on supply and confidence is set to unveil measures making it easier to build wind farms and less attractive to build new fossil-fuelled electricity plants when you own 50,000 shares in a company called Windflow Technology Limited.

Well Jeanette? What would you call it?

Would it be fortuitous? Perhaps.

What about Conflict of Interest?, possible.

Nah, how about corruption? Yeah that seems to fit.