Steven Joyce

“I was just visiting the brothel to say hi” – Yeah, nah, that wouldn’t fly would it?

David Shearer claimed the other day that he just popped into the SkyCity box to say hello. Now what would say if a politician was caught in a brothel and he used that excuse.

Yeah that’s what I thought too.

Now Shearer is  claiming he was pretty darn angry about it.

David Farrar analyses a week of death by a thousand cuts.

We’re now on Day 7 of stories about Labour MPs accepting hospitality from Sky City at Eden Park, just weeks after campaigning that any agreement that gives them extra pokie machines is disgraceful and how gambling destroys people’s lives etc.  Read more »

Sounds familiar?

Watching Labour completely stuff up the snap debate yesterday I was reminded of a scene from “In the Thick of It”….where Malcolm Tucker is facing an inquiry about leaks…

Read more »

Williamson quits, Nats bottle the challenge

Maurice Williamson has announced he won’t contest the mayoralty and National has bottled the chance to tip out Len Brown.

Unfortunately for Maurice Williamson the beltway politicians lacked the courage to commit their brand to the battle. If they had bothered to lift their heads from focus groups results for just a moment they should have realised that the anger building in Auckland against Len Brown and his unitary plan needed a person to coalesce behind.

Now there is no one. C&R as a brand is stuffed, and quality candidates that may have been found to stand under the National banner will now go back into hiding. Several I know of will be unlikely to want to have to deal with the muppets in C&R  Read more »

Will John Key sell out Mark Mitchell in Rodney?

Stephen Mills opinion piece on stuff talking about the combinations of parties and options that will keep John Key in power after 2014.

John Key played the integrity card by ruling out New Zealand First as a coalition partner in 2008, but now he faces the unpleasant choices of courting New Zealand First and/or undertaking high-risk and possibly futile electorate plays in Epsom or Rodney – or a combination of all three.

John Key is making the same kind of noises Helen Clark did in her second term about wanting to stay at all costs. Clark stole $800,000 of tax payers money to spend in the last crucial week of the election campaign, and did a dodgy deal with Winston.  Read more »

Sledge of the Day – Steven Joyce

Labour gets a history lesson from Steven Joyce in today’s Sledge of the Day.

Deal done, new convention centre for Auckland for free

John Key and Steven Joyce have done the deal of the decade. They have convinced a private company, SkyCity, to front all of the $402M costs for a new convention centre for Auckland for the addition of just 230 new pokie machines in the casino.

Job done, making shit happen.

Details of the controversial SkyCity convention centre deal with the Government have been announced this morning – and the listed casino operator will pay $402m for the new centre.

The centre is expected to generate $90m of revenue each year. SkyCity will meet the full cost and be allowed to have 230 extra poker machines. Its exclusive license will be extended to 2048.

Known as the New Zealand International Convention Centre, the new centre will cost $315 million to build and fit-out, while the land will be worth $87m.

Construction on the centre is expected to begin in 2014 and open in mid to late 2017. It will cater for 3500 international conference delegates at any one time and attract an estimated 33,000 more delegates each year.  Read more »

Real Social Media Lessons for MP’s – Just Don’t Do It

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Let me explain why it really is a bad idea to have Twitter if you are an MP.  The media love Twitter and have embraced it fully in reporting of politics and here is why. They are the prime beneficiaries of MP’s tweeting.

Despite consistently advising MP’s not to get on Twitter they are ignoring such sage counsel and are continuing to do so.  So once again I will  share my experience in social media over the years and analyse  how and why MP’s should not use Twitter unless it enhances their reputation among media and with it a very small section of the voting public who follow Twitter.  Twitter use is making MP’s look even more clueless about the problems and needs of their actual target voters than most already are and in Asenati Lole-Taylor’s case, that was what I previously thought an impossible achievement.

I do not spend much time on Twitter and only have links to new posts on the blog.  I will jump on to sledge people who need and deserve it, like David Fisher and formerly Trevor Mallard but it is a distraction to my day I can do without. If for any reason I do go on, it is as a free social media lesson in how people with anything to lose in life such as their job as an MP and perks that go with it, need to be very careful about using it. Regular users of Twitter are just hopelessly addicted to it, bored with their job or life in some way and need to stop.

Then there are political journalists who show their bias and inner circles by endlessly communicating with MP’s they are meant to be reporting neutrally on.  The smarter political journalists though use twitter to bait MP’s into making fools of themselves by obtaining stories written from tips and gossip off it and present that to their editor now as news reporting.  None of these stories are ones enhancing the public perception of an MP. The vast majority of the public do not follow Twitter at all and only see something on it in the paper or online when an MP has made a dick of themselves.  Read more »

Hooton on The Clown

Matthew Hooton, not one to turn down a glass of wine, nails Aaron Gilmore, the Clown of Christchurch East:

I am the last person to criticise someone for getting rolling drunk.

By some measures, the volume of wine per person reported to have been drunk at National List MP Aaron Gilmore’s infamous Hanmer Springs dinner was positively temperate.  (Although, despite many years of trying, I have never had a wine waiter at a flash restaurant deny me service, so perhaps there is more to this part of the story.)

In a country where, rightly or wrongly, binge drinking remains acceptable and commonplace, what really does in Mr Gilmore is not his drunkenness but the horrible way he is reported to have treated the waiting staff, including clicking his fingers and abusing them, and – perhaps even worse – his idiotic threat to have the prime minister fire one of them.

On this point, I yesterday found myself in complete political agreement with the ‪Service and Food Workers Union, something no doubt damaging to both me and the union.

The shame of Hooton writing that last line must be immense, which makes it all the more powerful.

When previous MPs have run into trouble for drinking they have survived because their uncouth behaviour has not crossed the line into personal abuse.

When Mr Gilmore’s fellow Christchurch MP, Labour’s Ruth Dyson, was picked up one night for drink-driving, there was no suggestion she had been rude to the police and she had the integrity to resign as a minister before the sun came up.

Similarly, when Mr Gilmore’s fellow National Party MP, trade minister Tim Groser, got himself well-and-truly inebriated at the bar of an Emirates A380 flying home after a disastrous Middle Eastern trade mission to bury his mother, there was no suggestion he abused anyone (except, I was told by my spies on the flight, me – after he found out what I, after a few wines, had written about the trade-mission fiasco for that Friday’s NBR).

In any event, both Ms Dyson and Mr Groser were valuable to their prime ministers and governments.  Mr Gilmore has no such advantage.

He has no redeeming political features at all, and I doubt he will even make the list come the next election, despite his impressive CV.

To say Mr Gilmore’s political career is going nowhere is an understatement.

Reportedly never popular even within the National Party in his home district of Canterbury, he was National’s 2008 sacrificial lamb in the safe Labour seat of Christchurch East, losing to Labour’s Lianne Dalziel by over 5000 votes.

Nevertheless, he snuck into parliament on the list, but received no promotion in his first term as an MP, indicating the low regard in which he is held by John Key, Bill English and Steven Joyce, and much of the rest of the National cabinet and caucus.

Meanwhile, his 2008 contemporaries Nikki Kaye, Simon Bridges, Hekia Parata, Amy Adams and Michael Woodhouse have become ministers, and the next in line for ministerial jobs, Todd McClay and Peseta Sam Lotu-Iiga, already chair the powerful Finance and Expenditure and Social Services select committees respectively.  There will never be any such promotions for Mr Gilmore.

Undeterred at having achieved nothing in his first term except attract publicity over a false CV, he sought re-election but was awarded the lowest place on National’s 2011 list among incumbents except for newbie Jami-Lee Ross, only elected as MP for Botany earlier that year, and the unloved Paul Quinn.  He was also put up again for Christchurch East.

In the 2011 election, it turned out that is not just National Party officials and MPs that seem to have a particular dislike of Mr Gilmore but also the good voters of Christchurch East.

His career, such as it is is over. He may as well just piss off. He won’t though such is his hubris.

As of this morning, the Prime Minister and his office appear almost to be begging for a formal complaint from the Heritage Hotel which they could hand over to Ms Upston as a first step towards getting rid of Mr Gilmore.

Any of the next few names on National’s list – Claudette Hauiti, Jo Hayes or Leonie Hapeta – would offer the party more in terms of electoral appeal than Mr Gilmore.

But they do have to move carefully.

Unlike, say, NZ First, National is a democratic party and, as Jim Bolger found with Mr Peters, Bill English with Maurice Williamson and Don Brash with Brian Connell, it is extremely hard to get rid of a recalcitrant MP.  Even in the recent NZ First case, Mr Peters failed to drum the disgraced Brendan Horan out of parliament altogether.

Mr Key just announcing Mr Gilmore is fired achieves nothing.  He needs to be encouraged to resign.

Of course, he probably won’t.  Mr Gilmore will never get a job as well paid as this one, especially now we know he doesn’t have the high-level finance-sector qualifications that were once claimed.

Right now, for doing pretty much nothing, he earns $142,000 a year, plus free air travel and subsidised Bellamy’s booze.

Sadly, he’s probably not going anywhere.

Unless of course all the other scandals associated with Aaron Gilmore surface in short order. They will.

Toby Manhire on Colin Craig

The old adage that any publicity is good publicity might not actually be true. Toby Manhire writes:

“Colin Craig” is New Zealand’s answer to Ali G. “Colin Craig” is a fictional character, a circus clown, a satirical device. When you think about it, it’s as unmistakable as the sparkle in his eye. Would a real person say “at the end of the day” at the start of every second sentence?

The penny dropped this week when “Colin Craig” went one step too far, the cheeky monkey, issuing a legal threat via what appeared to be a reputable legal firm demanding that a little-known but obviously satirical website, The Civilian, retract an obviously satirical remark attributed to him.

See http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/chapman-tripp-legal-notice-23-april-2013/

An aspiring MP screaming defamation over an innocuous bit of obvious satire? I don’t think so. A millionaire demanding a $500 contribution to legal costs from a 21-year-old just out of university? Inconceivable.

The political stupidity of Colin Craig is astonishing.

If “Colin Craig” were real, would he be so lacking in wit, confidence and courage as to issue stiff ultimatums to a tiny website run by a pipsqueak in his pyjamas, while letting stand for all time homoerotic imaginings – all “powerful thighs” and “firm buttocks” – attributed to him in a “secret diary” published by newspapers across the country? I don’t think so.

And even if “Colin” did get puffed up like a peacock, sensible lawyers would gently talk him out of it. Wouldn’t they?

There’s more evidence that this man of many first names is a giant tease. The thundering legal letter observes that the article in question – headlined “Maurice Williamson looking pretty stupid after floods” – includes words that their client “never made”. It splutters: “It is a fiction created by you to make him look ridiculous”.

Snort! The letter continues: “The statement cannot be dismissed as satire in the circumstances, particularly when it is published alongside quotes from Maurice Williamson which we understand may largely be accurate.”

Wonderful! As any half-awake intern could have told them, the quotes from Williamson are invented, too. As is the one attributed to John Key, calling Williamson “a big idiot”.

In case that weren’t enough, the lawyer’s letter goes on to refer to “words which were not said by Mr Crag”. As if a legal firm with such a proud history and so many bright minds would misspell its own client’s name. Are they all in on this delicious charade? Bravo.

Heh, the man of many first names.

Who, then, is pulling the strings and our legs? Is “Colin Cra(i)g” conjured up by the same genius behind the long-running cabaret act John “Cabbage Boat” Banks? Is he a guerrilla-marketing stunt by enfant terrible Ben Uffindel – a kind of Pantomime Trojan Horse to attract attention to his fledgling comedy website?

Is he an automaton, controlled by Steven Joyce, deployed to distract attention from this week’s bewildering Albanian-Stalinist-North-Korean-Polish shipyard metaphor incontinence?

Is he a Weta Workshop side project? Has he been 3D-printed by Maurice Williamson?

Disrobe, “Colin Craig”, we cry. Let us stand in ovation before this comedy masterwork, this colossus of ridiculous fiction. I suggest a special gong at the next Chapman Tripp Theatre Awards. Remove the latex mask, “Colin”. Enter our warm embrace

For you must be a character, a chimera, an invention. Mustn’t you? The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate.

Colin Craig is certainly way too bizarre to be trusted in parlimanet, but then again the voters are seeing that….he has spent the thick end of $3 million coming third.

Labour won’t intervene in any other market? Really?

After announcing their intention to intervene and gut the power market and destroy shareholder wealth Labour have been on the back foot facing claims that if their rationale is to be believed on power then why not intervene in other markets.

David Shearer of course is nowhere to be seen, he dropped this policy on Thursday afternoon, promptly made for the airport and bolted like a coward, leaving Grant Robertson and David Parker to unconvincingly defend the biggest lurch to the left since like forever.

Now they are saying they won’t intervene in any other market. They have been forced to because it is now apparent the damage their policy announcement is currently doing to the NZ economy. This is the start of an embarrassing backdown for Labour.

Labour Party deputy leader Grant Robertson has moved to try and reassure financial markets that its sudden lurch to favour central planning in the electricity industry is one-off.

In a statement attacking Economic Development Minister Steven Joyce, Mr Robertson says: “Labour makes no apology for stepping in to fix problems in the electricity sector. But this is not a signal that Labour is going to intervene elsewhere in the economy.

“As we said on the day we launched NZ Power, we have no plans to intervene in any other markets.”

That of course is a lie. Labour has plenty of plans for intervention.  Read more »