suicide

Depression 101 (RIP Robin Williams)

I lost friends and friendships to depression. ¬†People don’t understand it. ¬†They judge you like a normal person should be judged. ¬†They have no idea. ¬†It’s OK. ¬†It still hurts, but I have to live with it. ¬†Luckily I have never gone as deep as to consider taking my own life. ¬†If you’re reading this, and you have got to the point of thinking how you would do it, or worse, started putting some of those plans into place, then it is time for you to understand this: ¬†THIS ISN’T YOU. ¬†If you let it run its course, it can end like Robin Williams. ¬†But for most of us, there is a way back out.

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Most of the Whaleoil Crew have lived or are living with some level of depression. ¬†Not sure why, but it makes us very tolerant of each other when the days get dark, and we are welcomed back without judgement when we find some light back in our days. ¬†I’ve lost more friends to suicide than I have through accidental death.

You are not alone. ¬†You are never alone. ¬†And the thoughts of despair, anger, self-harm and hopelessness aren’t actually real. ¬†They are not real in the sense that your brain chemicals are messing up the messages. ¬†Don’t ever believe you want to be dead. ¬†It’s not true. ¬†Don’t ever believe nobody cares. ¬†It is not true. ¬† But depression makes it seem that way.

Your thoughts start to lie to you.  It is terrible.

Whenever someone has taken their own life, apart from the deep ache I feel inside, there is this feeling of “if only I knew, I would have helped”. ¬†There are so many people around you now, that will have the same reaction. ¬†But you need to stop believing that you are worthless. ¬†Stop believing you don’t matter. ¬†Stop believing you won’t be missed. ¬†Stop believing the world is better off without you.

Your thoughts start to lie to you.  It is terrible.

Somewhere inside you, is the old you.  It can come out again.  It takes time.  It takes a large number of setbacks.  But it can be done.

Don’t. ¬†Give. ¬†Up.

Find it within yourself to reach out.  There are people standing by right now.  Talk to a stranger.  Talk to your GP.  Talk to a mate.  Talk to a mentor.  Talk to a coach.  Talk to a colleague.

Say something.

“Help me. ¬†I need help”

 

- Pete

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Another one gone too soon: Robin Williams, 63, suspected suicide

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Oscar-winning actor and comedian Robin Williams was found dead on [today]¬†from an apparent suicide at his home in Northern California, Marin County Sheriff’s Office said. He was 63.

The sheriff’s coroner’s division said it suspects the death was a suicide due to asphyxia, but the cause of death is still under investigation.

Last month, the “Good Will Hunting” actor, who has struggled with addiction in the past, entered a Minnesota rehabilitation center to help him maintain sobriety.

His representatives at the time said Williams was not using drugs or alcohol but had gone to the center to “fine-tune and focus” his sobriety after working a longer-than-usual schedule.

Bugger.

qweqwe

- Reuters

Mass incarceration

The sanctimony of Russell Brown

I see Pots, pans and pannier bags blogger Russell Brown is falling over himself to criticise online bullies in the wake of Charlotte Dawson’s death.

He was another who intimated, when the West Coast ferals were attacking me, ¬†he would never condone death threats, BUT….¬† Read more »

Killing yourself because you’ve become ginger is taking things a bit too far

Surely being ginger isn’t so bad that you’d kill yourself over it?

However that is supposedly what has happened in the UK after a woman feared she was turning into a ginger.

A young office worker who had been suffering from anxiety and stress killed herself after becoming anxious about her hair colour, an inquest heard.

Frances Warren, 26, was concerned that her long blonde hair had turned a shade of ‘yellow’ or ‘ginger’ and was desperate for it to be fixed.

Miss Warren had seen her GP a couple of weeks earlier reporting symptoms of anxiety and stress and had been offered anti-depressants and had referred herself to a counselling service.

She was so anxious about the colour of her hair, she texted her hairdresser 50 times requesting her for help, an inquest at Avon Coroner’s Court heard.

I can understand day walkers wanting to hide their true soul-less existence but killing yourself over turning ginger is just hopeless.¬† Read more »

Photo Of The Day

Kevin Carter

Kevin Carter

Visiting Sudan, a little-known photographer took a picture that made the world weep.

Read more »

Ten indicators that things are coming right

Depsite the best efforts of the opposition to talk down everything in New Zealand things are on the turn and not in a way that they would like.

Lindsay Mitchell has listed ten indicators of positive change.

1/ Assaults on police

Tasers and training are credited with a double-digit drop in assaults against police.

Recorded offences against police dropped more than 20% between 2009-10 and 2012-13, figures released under the Official Information Act figures reveal.

2/ Deaths from sudden infant death syndrome

The number of infants dying suddenly has dropped but the rate is still too high, officials say.

In 2012, 36 infants died of cot death or sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI). This is down from 55 deaths in 2008. ¬†¬† Read more »

Reflecting on what we do here at Whaleoil

We’ve seen this before – it’s worth a repeat. ¬†Life isn’t just shits ‘n giggles, and some thing are worth doing right.

 

If you think you, or someone you know, may be thinking about suicide….

Call Lifeline NZ - 0800 543 354

or

Call 0508 TAUTOKO (828 865) for support. Available 24 hours.

Bob Jones in trouble, so is the Herald

The NZ Herald is in damage control mode this afternoon after Bob Jones’ column ignited a storm of controversy.

They have had to take down his most offensive comments.

Without those comments the column would still have been hard hitting and I would probably be here now saying hear, hear, Bob…but they were dreadful and Shayne Currie will be having a please explain meeting now, while I am now writing about irresponsible mainstream editors who like to point finger but haven;t noticed the 3 other fingers pointing right back at them.

Keeping Stock managed to grab the offending comments:

Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised. Every wealthy bugger I know over 65 shamelessly takes the Government Super, and seem puzzled when I lambast them. “But I’m entitled to it,” is their constant response as if that is justification for taking something they don’t need.

When we talk of dependency mentality it’s usually about rife welfare abuse which this Government and especially ACC have commendably attacked on all our behalves, but as I said, it’s not just the underclass. Right now there’s a Lower Hutt bloke in his mid-70s lying outside the Wellington ACC offices, supposedly starving to death in protest. Why? He wants your money and the ACC, rightly, won’t give it to him.¬† Read more »

A hard life or natural consequences of a string of poor decisions?

Fairfax have an interesting piece this morning

Something snapped inside teenage mother Oshon Wilson when the State said she would never care for a baby of her own.

The next day, the heavily pregnant 16-year-old swallowed 48 painkiller pills and a bottle of bourbon.

She found herself in hospital, screaming that she wanted to live.

Oshon and her baby survived that suicide attempt, but within the year she was dead.

Her grieving mother Sheryl Featonby, 52, tells her youngest child’s story at the dining table of her modest family home in west Hamilton.

Name a job and Featonby’s probably done it.

She now earns a wage slicing, packing and cleaning in the offal room at the Greenlea meat works off Kahikatea Dr.

She has a clean police record and memories of a hard life.

The thought of Oshon’s story never being told drove her to speak publicly, and the hope that others might avoid the hole her family fell into.

Oshon was born at Waikato Hospital in 1996, the last of five children to three men.

She was a “placid” baby, but she grew into “a little deviant”, Featonby says.

She was “always” getting into trouble sticking up for others.

Featonby recalls Oshon launching into a fight because she mistakenly thought her brother was getting beaten up.

Another time, a boy tripped a disabled girl over and Oshon “laid him out,” she says, laughing.

Read more »