So we all helped Busted Blonde take home the piss in the crass Veuve Clicquot/NBR competition.
What the silly bitch didn’t know was just how much work went in behind the scenes to amp the the pressure on the stupid Managing Editor who clearly had a rush of shit tot he brains when engaging with social media.
Chaos and mayhem was sole driver to blogosphere support, In between extensive tweets, facebook posts and blog post there were also pre-emptory emails to the idiot managing editor predicting the coming shit storm across the blogosphere. The fool even emailed me to ask what he could do to avoid making NBR and Veuve Clicquot famous in a “bad way” and then spectacularly failed to take my advice. Make no mistake the blogopshere saw this as a chance to kick Barry Colman, his pay-wall, his rag of a mag and Veuve Clicquot squarely in the nuts.
Another person who prefers the sound of her own voice and fails to listen to advice is the Busted Blonde also known as Brunette. She caved just when NBR was flat on the floor and settled for about half the amount of piss she could have got had the sting continued to run.
It was out of complete disgust with her blancmange pudding like softness that stopped me dropping a copy of the birthday edition of NBR and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot with some hookers and a video camera.
As the kicking was being administered across the blogosphere Busted Blonde was desperately trying to appear concilairoty in an attempt to “make bloggers appear nice”. Well excuse me, but who asked for her fucking opinion. Bloggers aren’t nice, we are evil and especially when delivering one of the best kickings ever to the double target of a mainstream media outlet (The owner of which hates bloggers) and a worldwide premium brand in the guise of Veuve Clicquot.
The fact that we were getting a blow by blow account of Barry Colman’s rage as it unfolding on the poor fool of a managing editor was even more special.
And the ultimate aim, a whole pile of piss to the weight of an extremely fat woman and a party in Frank Kitts lagoon.
Have we seen the party? Of course not, because Busted Blonde, the bloody great pudding wants to have a charity function woth the free piss comepletly against her stated ambitions for winning the competition. It seems only fair that if we kicked the shit out of “Liar” Joe Holden then we should do the same to Busted Blonde.
When Barry Colman finally realised what his fool of an editor had unleashed he dipped into his own pocket to stump up with the piss. This si what that tough blogger Busted Blonde had to say about it in emails.
We won. They have apologised. I win my weight in veuve clicquot. Now we under no circumstances gloat. They are putting up a full apology on nbr. So say nothing till it goes up. Now we have a party for charity to organise. And thanks everyone. NBR themselves are putting up the veuve.
That was the first anyone had heard about a so called charity function. The equally spongy soft Farrar likewise thought gloating wasn’t in order. Screw that, this was a massive hit against the big boys and the really big were going soft. Trying to stay good with Barry Colman. Like good little troughers suckling at the trough they didn’t want to bite the hands that feed them.
Well, the legal attache and the enforcer of the VRWC had two words to say about charity, especially as Colman was a tight-arse and only coughed 58 bottle of Veuve Clicquot.
I called for a vote to evict Busted Blonde from the VRWC because she was now fawning all over Barry Colman, even begging me to remove the image of a Veuve Clicquot bottle jammed p someones arse. My answer was that I wasn’t playing her game, I never was. she was now off on a tangent far removed from the piss up of wankers in Frank Kitts lagoon. She doesn’t want to raise money for charity, she wants to make herself look good and to create her own “legend”. The fact is that without Dpf, me or Cactus plus the other heavy hitters of the VRWC she would never have made it across the line and would have settled for what she got in the first place, a stink magnum of the vile Veuve Clicquot.
I waited for the thanks to arrive too. And waited. And waited. None, not even one little bottle was forthcoming. Neither was an invitation to the pissup. The reason apparently was “her integrity” would be at risk. Right…let’s examine that shall we….an anonymous blogger who likes to brag about her posts on Facebook, so isn’t so anonymous, who got in trouble at her job for blogging so retired the character only to revitalise the lifeless corpse for a compeition to win piss, all the time still blogging under the new blogname of Brunette, in the same style as Busted Blonde, still posting the posts to Facebook and all the time pretending they aren’t the same person. Hmmmm….how is that integrity holding up…..straining as much as the elastic on her panties one would suspect.
Once I started pointing out that 60 bottles of low-class Veuve Clicquot would be hoovered up in about 60 seconds by all her leeching media mates in Wellington, who would refuse to attend said charity function unless they had a freebie and starte to also work out that the fat slapper was mouthing of around Wellington what a great job she did in winning the competition I hit the roof. Hel Cactus Kate and I drank 10 bottles of champagnes election night 2008 between us. How long does Busted Blonde think 60 bottles are going to last once Sean Plunket and the other media heavy weights hoe into it. nd how long did she think her pretense of anonymity was going to last at her public sector trough job once she started promoting a failure of a charity event.
The problem Busted Blonde has is this, she caved when put under pressure, she craves the limelight but her job precludes it, which was why we got the gay V3 cartoon image of a blonde several hundred kilos lighter than the real thing, and she promised literally hundreds of people a party which she now wants to charge us all to attend.
My idea of dropping the pallet of piss down in front of the City Mission and watching chaos and mayhem ensue and video it all for Youtube holds more apeal than sharing a third of a glass of champagne with people I can’t stand. Well screw her and her non-thanks, and screw her and her stupid idea of a charity function. Next thing she will be wanting to raise money for the uninsured of Christchurch.
I almost wish “Liar” Joe Holden had won, at least he would have had a piss up.
I have a new policy in place now that stands for all the fuckwits that I have helped without a word of thanks, its called the Fuck You policy. I can and will go postal on you when I get the chance, think of it as my way of saying fuck you very much. I will no longer be taken for granted.
De-friending and de-linking policy is in force. FFS sake everyone, except Busted Blonde/Brunette knows not to piss on the Whale. She must be stupid, but then that is probably why she works for a government department.