Just a Sweet Tax Maker, from Tax Central, Taxamania

[Imported from Whale Oil Beef Hooked on Blogger]

My heartfelt thanks go out to ZenTiger for this excellent rewrite of a Kiwi Classic.

Sung to the song “Sweet Transvestite”

[Helen Clark Enters]
How d’you do, I see you’ve met my faithful Budget man
He’s just a little brought down because when you knocked
He thought you were a Family man.
Don’t get strung out by the way that I look,
Don’t judge a book by its cover
I’m not much of a man by the light of day,
But by night I’m one hell of a tax maker

I’m just a Sweet Tax Maker from Tax Central, Taxamania.

So let me show you around, maybe charge you a crown
You look like you’re both pretty yuppie
Or if you want something rebatable that’s not too deductible
We could take in an old Dr Cullen groupie.

I’m glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?
We’re both in a bit of a hurry.
We’ll just say where we are, then walk instead of car
We can’t afford any worry.

[Sweet Helen]
So you got caught with a tax, well, how about that?
Well babies, don’t you panic.
By the light of the night when it all seems alright
I’ll audit you like a satanic mechanic.

I’m just a Sweet Tax Maker from Tax Central, Taxamania.

So why don’t you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?
I could show you my favourite obsession.
I’ve been taxing a man with ambition and a plan
And his demise is good for relieving my tension

I’m just a Sweet Tax Maker from Tax Central, Taxamania.

So come up to the lab. And see how much we can grab.
I see you shiver with taxi… pation!
But maybe our policy isn’t really to blame
So I’ll double the tax, and rebate the symptom.

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.