Rush Limbaugh writes Saddam's Defence

[Imported from Whale Oil Beef Hooked on Blogger]

Fantastic tongue-in-cheek classic by Rush Limbaugh on the defence that Saddam should use at his trial.

I, Saddam Hussein, would say that the Senate Democrats are on the way to proving that President Bush has led a false war, permanently screwed up children all over the world as to how you solve problems. My country is Muslim. We are very different from western countries, and that scares stupid, evangelical cowboys like George Bush. Why, Prince Charles even had to go tell Bush, “You misunderstood Islam,” the other day. I’d call Prince Charles as a witness! So what does this cowboy Bush do when his oil baron buddies can’t have my oil for themselves? Well, they start a war on false pretenses because everybody knows that this war was about nothing but oil and that’s why all the intelligence was trumped up, and that’s why all of the lies were told and that’s why everybody was told and agreed that I had weapons of mass destruction, is because the world wants my oil led by the cowboy Bush, and I thank God — I thank Allah daily — for the Senate Democrats, the Democrats of the United States Senate who are leading this courageous effort to prove what a liar and a disaster on the world stage George W. Bush has been. I can’t get a fair trial, and until I get a fair trial — which is not possible — I demand my country back. All of this that has happened has been based on lies. The world can’t sleep at night. If the world can do this to me, a man with nothing but benevolence and love in his heart for his people, what will they do next? Who will they do it to next? The cowboy Bush — Cheney, Libby, Rove — they must be stopped, and it’s the Senate Democrats in that great institution, the United States Senate, who are leading the way.

It goes on and on and finally ends with;

It’s not a joke what’s happening there, and it’s not a joke what’s happening to me. I would also call Ambassador Joe Wilson, of course. He would be my star witness, because Joe Wilson would testify that I was not a bad guy; I was not somebody that posed a danger. I never once sought uranium from anywhere, because I didn’t have any weapons of mass destruction, and Joe Wilson knows it and his wife, Valerie Plame, knows it. And so, my friends, I, Saddam Hussein, throw in with the Democrats in the United States Senate. They are my allies, and until they finish their great and glorious work for Allah in uncovering the truth about the lies and the distortions of the cowboy Bush, I demand these trials of me be postponed and the charges dismissed — and I get my country back.

 


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