How do you make a small company?

Take a big company, get rid of its successful Managing Director who never had a quarter with a loss and hire a ex-Microsoft "hotshot" who then proceeds to run it into the ground.

Step by Step follow the bullet points;

  • Spend the first 3 months writing a banal meaningless mission statement.
  • Hire your mates from Microsoft who are as useless as you.
  • Piss off your major client and lose 70% of your revenue in one go.
  • Get rid of all the sales reps who actually sold anything
  • Hire new "flash harrys" who have only ever been order takers and pay them mega-bucks to do fuck all.
  • Move your data centre twice in a year for no apparent reason other than a fit of pique.
  • Move buildings even when the landlord offers you free rent for two years and a refit just because you don’t like him.
  • Leave behind all your furniture and fittings because they don’t fit at the new premises.
  • Leave the old premises in such a state that the landlord now wants to sue you for lots and lots for re-instatement.
  • Piss off the head of the the only division that makes money so much so that he leaves in disgust.
  • Destroy all vestiges of shareholder capital
  • Surrender and get another "hotshot".

Voila!! one little small company facing delisting with an eighth of the staff you used to have and no consecutive monthly let alone quarterly profits, facing de-listing.

If I was a shareholder I would be looking at going after the Directors.


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